July 2015 – Page 4 – Pernille Ripp

To the Girl Who Wrote Last Night

July 17, 2015 Pernille Ripp

Dear you,

This morning I woke up in St. Louis, ready and excited to present at yet another conference, wondering if I would ever get over my nerves. I quick jumped on my email and couldn’t believe what you had sent me. That long of an email. SO many words. I quick skimmed it to make sure you were okay and then sat down and couldn’t believe what you wrote.

As teachers, and particularly of 7th graders, we don’t know whether what we do matters. Whether what we try with you actually makes a difference. Half the time I felt crazy last year trying to make you and everyone else feel like you were part of a community and that I cared about you. Half the time I felt the eye rolls follow me home, sure that I was not good enough to be your teacher. So thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me as a teacher. Thank you for letting me in to your world, for trusting me, for thinking that I had worth because there were days that I felt like I was the worst teacher in the world.

I am so proud of you and who you are. You have so much to offer to the world, so much creativity to unleash, and I am so thankful that I get to be a tiny part of your life’s journey. I, too, miss school, which is weird, but mostly I miss you students. I miss our every day. Our inside jokes. Our routine, our stories, our moments that took my breath way. I can’t believe that I have to start all over with new kids, start from the bottom again, and only see you guys in the hallway. Yet, that’s what we do as teachers, we put our hearts out there so that you kids have a chance at knowing that you matter, that someone cares about you, even when you don’t seem to care about yourself. So thank you for giving me your words and letting me in. For sending that letter last night. I have been telling the world about my amazing 7th graders, and you were one of them. I have hared your words hoping that others will see the truths that bestowed me with. Hoping that together we can change our schools. I am so incredibly grateful that I got to be your teacher. You will never know how much that title means to me, even after you leave OMS and move into the world.

Love,

Mrs. Ripp

believe, principals

Dear Administrators, Yes, Please, Let’s Talk About Evaluations…

July 15, 2015July 15, 2015 Pernille Ripp

This post is part of a series that the amazing John Bernia and I started last week in order to try to bridge the seemingly great divide there can be between teachers and administration. Please head over to John’s blog to see his counter post.

Dear Mr. Bernia,

So you want to talk about evaluations? Don’t you know that this happens to be one of my most favorite things to discuss? No seriously. It didn’t used to be that way, not at all in fact, but since switching jobs, I happen to love being evaluated. There is one big reason for that love; I trust my principal inherently. I also admire her a great deal. She is knowledgable, she is honest, and most importantly, she is human. When she is in my room, I don’t feel judged, I feel supported. When she meets with me, I feel like she shares the same purpose I do; doing what is best for kids, and so everything she says I reflect on and try to work through to become better. I wish every teacher had a principal like Shannon Anderson.

But the truth is, some don’t. In fact, I had never had a principal actually give me several things to work on before I met Mrs. Anderson. And not because I was a perfect teacher by any means but because in previous evaluations they always caught my class and me on a great day; the show day, where the kids were prepped, I had planned for hours, and everything just worked. One of those days where everything was so smooth it felt like it was rehearsed, and it almost was. That’s what tends to happen when observations are scheduled and never a random visit. When principals are too busy with administrative things to just come by your room. But with new educator effectiveness, the increase in needed observations (which I do genuinely feel bad about for all administrators), we are no longer just being observed on those special days. Evaluations and observations happen all of the time, and I love it.

So to answer your question; no, evaluations are not just another thing. They shouldn’t be at least. They should be a chance for you to grow, to reflect, and to question why you are doing what you are doing. Evaluations should be formal and informal and happen as often as possible. I always have an open door policy to our classroom; I am not afraid of what people will see even if it is not a perfect lesson. And that’s it, isn’t it? When we trust our administrators. When we believe that they genuinely care for us, the kids, and the art of teaching, then we lose our fear of the evaluation. When I believe that you, the administrator, has something valuable to add that will help me grow, then I welcome you in. When I believe that you are knowledgable, connected to others, and also a constant learner, then I am ready to listen.

So please come by any time. See the amazing things the students are doing and tell me how to become better. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, so I need help growing. I need questions to reflect on so I can continue to push myself. I need someone who is invested in the art of teaching that may not have the answer to every question but can point me in the right direction. I know it is a lot to ask, but you are right; together we are better if both of us are willing to grow.

Best,

Pernille

I am a passionate teacher in Oregon, Wisconsin, USA but originally from Denmark, who has taught 4th, 5th, and 7th grade. Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. The second edition of my first book “Passionate Learners – How to Engage and Empower Your Students” is available for pre-order now. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” is out now from Corwin Press. Join our Passionate Learners community on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

being a teacher

A Story Shared #SemiColonEDU

July 14, 2015 Pernille Ripp

Note from Pernille: Once in awhile I lend this blog to others whose story needs to be heard. This on one of those moments. SOothis post is not written by me, but instead by someone who wishes to remain anonymous. To learn more about the movement behind #SemiColonEdu see Nick’s post here.

I want to post this to my own blog in the worst way, but I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair. Its not my battle to share. You see, I have not been diagnosed with depression, but my husband has.

While his battle with depression is not mine to share, my story of living with him is. Depression does not only impact those living with the diagnosis; it impacts the lives of everyone close to him/her. Living with a spouse who deals with depression everyday is difficult, and loving him/her seems impossible at times. Depression manifests itself differently in people, and for me, my husband is quick to anger, but unfortunately, it seems like myself and our children are the only ones who get this version of him. You see, he’s the funny guy to everyone else. But I want to tell you about the day I pushed for help…and got it.

While my husband has suffered from depression for many years, it was a tragedy in his life that gave me the courage to gently nudge him to seek help. I thought it was gently; he likely disagrees. My husband experienced an extreme tragedy. He and his brother were the first firemen on the scene of a motorcycle accident that claimed the life of his “second set of parents.” It was horrible, and the sadness still looms. Shortly after the accident, his anger spiked. He lashed out at me horribly. He accused me of cheating on him repeatedly which clearly did not happen. He fabricated it in his mind, but his imagination was wildly vivid…and hurtful. He barked at the kids loudly and repeatedly for actions typical of kids, like leaving the light on in their bedroom. If he was not angry and yelling, he was angry and silent which was worse. While I knew he was struggling because of the tragedy, it was so hard not to internalize his pointed anger. My kids and I treaded lightly in fear of setting him off. He would never physically hurt us, but his words packed a power punch to the gut.

About six weeks after the tragedy, he had gone on a hunting trip with a good friend. He had been texting me from his tree stand; it was a combination of I love you and I hate you. I stopped texting because I was scared. Through these mixed signals, I realized his thinking was not rational. His mind was working outside the realm of reality. He realized I was ignoring him which fueled his anger, but I could not subject myself to his criticism and mind games anymore. His thoughts were so extreme. Honestly, he was delusional.

Prior to his return home, I called his brother and said, “I’m very worried about [your brother], and I’m going to ask him if he has considered suicide. He is going to be angry with me, and I need you to know that I’m asking him because I love him. I also need you to know I’m not walking out on him.”

Later that day, I did just as I said I would do. I asked him. I used the word. SUICIDE. I cried. So did he. Then he got mad. He assured me he would never do that, but to this day, I’m not convinced it was not a thought in his brain. He slept downstairs that night. The next morning he woke me up to say this, “I haven’t slept at all. I cannot believe my wife is trying to convince me to off myself!” Yep. He said that. I’ll never forget it.

He called me later to tell me he had called the doctor, and there was relief in his voice when he said, he could not get an appointment for five weeks. FIVE WEEKS! The tears poured as I hung up the phone. Once I collected my thoughts, I called the clinic and demanded to speak to our nurse. Apparently, my voice sounded desperate because they put me through immediately. Five minutes later, I had an appointment. Ten minutes later, my husband agreed to go.

The diagnosis started out as situational depression which he could deal with because of the trauma he endured. It has been almost two years, and while I have accepted his mental health diagnosis and the longevity of it, he has not. He doesn’t want to be a “pill popper” for the rest of his life. He doesn’t want to have to take Viagra to counteract the side effects. He doesn’t want to say, “I struggle with depression.”

The rest of the story is being written. Day by day. Month by month. Year by year. I pushed back that day because I love him. I love him everyday; even the days and months he refuses to take his meds. I’ll never know just how close I was to losing him, but I’ll always know he loved me enough to let me help him, and for that, I am grateful.

being me, Passion, questions

Where Are All of the Female Leaders?

July 14, 2015July 14, 2015 Pernille Ripp

where are

One of the most asked questions I get wherever I go is; how do you do it all? And by all they mean be a mother, wife, teacher, author, and speaker and still seem somewhat normal. Not dazed, not frazzled, not crazy. I wish I had an amazing answer or a magical formula that would somehow give me more hours in the day and peace of mind to the person asking. But I always answer honestly; I don’t. There’s a balance and sometimes that balance shifts one way or another, but I never lose track of what is most important. Yet, the many times I have been asked that question, I cannot help but wonder; how many times has that same question been asked to my male counterparts? To those male educators that seem to have a million things going on as well. Do they get asked how they do it all, or is it just a female question?

I ask, because this post does not have inspiration or answers, but it does have a lot of questions that I am hoping you will discuss with me. Because I have started to notice that there seems to be a double standard when it comes to female educators in leadership. That females who lead in some capacity are always assumed to be sacrificing something for that leadership, whether it be time with their husband, time with their kids, or time from their job. And that supposed sacrifice means that we should feel guilty (which trust me I do) and at some point we need to apologize for the fact that we sacrificed something in the first place. That we are not supposed to sacrifice time with our children to further our own learning. That we are supposed to become leaders only after our children go to college, not whenever we want to. (Just to make clear, I have no issue with women who choose to wait until later in life, I do take issue with being told I should wait). Not while they live at home. That we tend to say no to opportunities presented to us because we feel bad, and boy, are we good at feeling bad.

So I wonder if this is just a female thing? Do males get asked how they do it all? Are they supposed to feel guilty when they leave their families behind to pursue a leadership opportunity? Or am I biased because I am obviously a female myself.

It is not just because I wonder about the whole notion of feeling guilty when we are away. More importantly though, I wonder if this guilt is stopping us from speaking up, from going to conferences, from taking leadership positions that we know will swallow more of our time? Are we creating a barricade to strong female leadership ourselves? Because it seems like everywhere I go, males are dominating a lot of the leadership roles still. And it can’t just be me, I cannot be the only one noticing this. So I wonder; where are all of the female educational leaders?

Because I am surrounded by them in my daily life. I am surrounded by them at my school, in my district, in my network of people. And yet, the minute we are asked to point out leaders, how many times do our fingers point to males? How many times when we see a new initiative being pushed out is there few females involved? How many pictures of leadership meetings feature mostly males? And what are we doing about it?

So what happens to those women who want to be more than “just” a teacher? “Just” a principal? Are there enough opportunities out there for them? Are we holding ourselves back or is it a societal thing where conference committees, editors, and other people with opportunities tend to gravitate toward males rather than females because there is an assumption that women don’t want these opportunities? Why in a profession that is mostly female are most leaders still male? Did we do it to ourselves? Or am I completely wrong here?

PS: Kaye and Leah, this one’s for you.

aha moment, Be the change, being me, learning, lessons learned, teachers

Try To Be You

July 13, 2015 Pernille Ripp

I have been surrounded by greatness for a while now it seems. It has been awe-inspiring to hear the stories of what amazing educators are doing in their schools as I go to conferences. It has been profound to see the supposed ease with which some of my colleagues at Oregon Middle School navigate their days. I am not there yet, I don’t know if I will ever be.

So this past year has been one of inspiration, but it has also been one of frustration. I have left many conversations wondering why I am not doing that, why I didn’t think of that. Read a book and wondered how I can become that teacher. Heard a speaker and wondered what I need to change to be them. And yet, tonight I realized that I will never be someone else. That when I try to be someone else that I lose the very essence that makes me me. That when we try to imitate, even the best ideas, they will never fully be what we hope for them to be but only shadows of the original.

So do be inspired this summer. Read a book, start a conversation, go to a conference and meet amazing people. Learn from them. Create with them. But don’t try to be them. You never will be. I never will be. We can only be ourselves so change accordingly. Find ideas that will inspire you to be a better teacher but don’t try to be someone else. It will never work, our students will see right through it. Instead make a vow to better yourself, trust your own ideas, and know that you, you are amazing too. You may just not have discovered it yet.

being a teacher, being me, honesty, student voice

A Students Shares What It’s Really Like Being In Our Classroom

July 12, 2015July 12, 2015 Pernille Ripp

For years, I have been sharing the sometimes magical, sometimes fantastical, and sometimes awful things that go on in our classroom. I have been honest in my blogs, I have presented what really happens, not diluted it or polished it to make myself look better. And while my students have blogged for years on their blog about being a member of our classroom I have never had one of them write it on here. Until tonight where one of my former 7th grade students, Corinne, agreed to write an honest post about what it is really like in our classroom. Besides adding paragraphs, I have not edited or added anything to this post. Thank you Corinne for your honest assessment of what it really looks like in our room!

She writes:

There is no doubt that Mrs. Ripp’s classroom is a classroom that anyone would want to be in. Being in Mrs. Ripp’s classroom every week day for a year has taught me so much, not only about English but myself to. Mrs. Ripp’s classroom is place that makes everyone feel important and wanted. Through out the year we did various projects and had various assignments that students sometimes enjoyed and sometimes hated. For example last school year every student that had Mrs. Ripp as an English teacher got the chance to write a non-fiction picture book. This was my favorite project that we did through out the year. I think that so many kids enjoyed it because everyone got to express themselves in their own unique ways.

An example of a project that many students disliked was our book club projects. I think the problem for most of the students who didn’t like this project was the fact that they were being forced to read. That is what I personally didn’t like about the project. For me it wasn’t so much the project itself, it was the mind set it was giving me. So most kids told Mrs. Ripp that they were reading when they weren’t, and then looked up the summary of the book on Google so that when it came time to talk about the book they knew what was going on. Other kids would simply decide that they didn’t want to read and they didn’t want to do the project, so they weren’t going to do it. Others would try their hardest but their hearts just weren’t in it. So then when everyone presented their horrific projects to Mrs. Ripp and we all got bad grades it was this HUGE reality check for everyone. But of course no teacher wants their students to fail so there is always a second chance in Mrs. Ripp’s classroom. Sometimes the second chance was coming in during a study hall and talking about what you could have done better, sometimes it was studying more and then getting a chance take the test again. Getting these second chances makes a big difference in grades and how they improve.

Through out the year in her classroom you get a lot of chances to do a lot of cool things that are once in a life time experiences. I find myself referring to it as “her classroom” but I know that if Mrs. Ripp were writing this she would be referring to it as “our classroom” because that is what it really is to her and that makes a big difference in the way she teaches and how and what you learn in her classroom. All in all being in Mrs. Ripp’s classroom is fun, exciting, interesting, and an educational opportunity that I wish everyone could experience.