discussion – Page 3 – Pernille Ripp

Today I was embarrassed, so utterly left without words and ashamed that I didn’t know what to say. A child did this to me and I deserved every moment of it. That child and I had had an interaction more than 3 weeks ago where I had scolded him for improper video camera usage. The task had been simple; film a short film telling me everything you know about a topic. This child had decided to goof off and create bloppers and then forgotten to delete the evidence. In my best teacher voice, I had reprimanded him and told him how very disaapointed in him I was. I had then left it at that and dismissed him thinking nothing more of it.

Today, as he walked down the hallway, I stopped him to ask him about a rumor I had heard and whether it was true. When he affirmed its validity I couldn’t help but tell him I was surprised he had been involved, that it seemed out of his nature to make such choices. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “Well, Mrs. Ripp, I thought you didn’t care because you were disappointed in me.” Confused, I asked him what he meant. “You told me you were disappointed in me back in social studies…”

And then it all clicked; this child had never been told that I was no longer disappointed. This child, whom I care for deeply, had never been let off the hook but instead I had left him dangling, wondering where our relationship stood. I stammered out a hurried reply about not being disappointed any longer and then walked away ashamed. How could I have left him to think that for so many weeks? How many times have I done this before? How many other kids assume that I view them unfavorably because of how they have been spoken to?

So as I sit here defeated, I vow to change, to speak to these kids and then follow up. When we use such heavy sentences as “I am disappointed in you” do we ever come back to tell them that we no longer feel that way? Do we repair the void we create with our words or do we just let it grow? As for this kid, I wrote him a note saying I was sorry. What will you do if this happens to you?

Friday is Op.Ed. day in my room and I savor this chance to ask my students some of the questions I discuss with fellow teachers. Yesterday’s was “Should students have a say in what they have to learn about.” To see all of their answers, head over to our kidblog. After 15 minutes of writing I asked students to share and this is where the magic happened. Several students shared and then someone blurted out a question. Nervously, they glanced at me to see if I would stop or reprimand them. I kept quiet. Question was answered by another student, and a new one came. Again glances were shot my way; I remained quiet. Well, that really got them going.

For ten minutes I sat back and let my students discuss. The kids got out of their seats, used arm gestures to underscore points, and formed smaller clusters of talking groups. Their enthusiasm was contagious and a huge smile spread across my face. This is what we try to teach our students; how to discuss, how to form opinions, and how to respond properly in a conversation. I did not teach them this, I only gave them the opportunity to engage one another.

As a teacher, I have to equip my students with life skills and those include how to have a proper discussion. I stopped the class only because they went back into kid territory of getting upset with each other. This, though, was also a learning opportunity; how do you politely disagree? How do you carry on a large group discussion? My students quickly realized that one major rule was to not interrupt each other, something I have asked for all year. And yet now they got it. They figured out the why themselves and that will always be my favorite way for them to learn.

Sometimes it is not about what we teach but the opportunities we provide. The opportunities are what matter.

Category: discussion

But Wait, You Didn’t Tell Me I Wasn’t A Disappointment

An Opportunity for Discussion