Category: parents

being a teacher, feedback, grow, parents

Have You Asked For Parent Feedback – You Should, Even If It Hurts…

Pernille Ripp
I click on the link nervously, not sure that I really want to read what I am about to see, and yet I must if I want to continue being a reflective teacher that realizes that she still has a lot to learn.  What has sent my palms into such a clammy mess?  Results from my end of the year parent survey….  Something I have forced myself to do the last two years, all in the name of bettering myself.

So why the trepidation?  Well, even though most parents don’t take issue with how I teach, or we iron things out along the way, sending someone an anonymous survey to fill out makes anyone nervous.  Particularly when those someones are people who have seen the direct result of your teaching on their child for a whole year.  Particularly when those someones speak to other someones who may just have a child going into 5th grade.  Particularly when those someones really have a right to tell you exactly how they feel because their kid is involved, which means they are involved.

And yet it took me 2 years to get to that point.  It took me that long to want to hear what parents truly had to say.  It took me 2 years to have enough confidence to be able to really listen without getting offended, without taking it like a personal attack.  Without feeling they were automatically in the wrong if they didn’t love everything I had done.

So now it is with gratitude, and of course still trepidation that I read the answers they provide.  I know I do school differently than most of them are used to.  I know my philosophy sometimes stands in a stark contrast to those of my amazing team members.  I know this 5th grade experience may be vastly different than that of 6th grade.  So I ask the tough questions and then hold my breath.  I ask how I can improve, what I should focus on next year,  whether I did a good enough job, because I truly do want to hear the answers.  I truly do want the truth so that I can grow.  There are always answers that go straight to my heart, those that make me reflect and rething, refine and reconsider.  And I am thankful for that.

Asking for feedback is never easy.  Listening to the feedback is even harder, and yet, I don’t look back.  I urge others to do the same; ask the questions and then really really listen to those answers.  Don’t ask because you feel you have to, ask because you want to grow.  Even if it hurts and stings.  Even if it is not what you had hoped to hear.  We are not perfect, or at least I am not.  I still have a lot of growing to do.

PS:  My parent survey changed a lot this year thanks to help from Kaitlyn Gentry who was kind enough to share her end of year survey with me.

being me, parents, teachers

Your Child’s Teacher; Who Cares What Parents Think?

Pernille Ripp
Image from here

Yesterday I fired my OB.  The uneasy feeling every time I saw him could not be dismissed and I figured now was better than later.  His lack of concern for my well-being, his nonchalant attitude about having twins, his lack of communication all led to this decision and after I made it, I was relieved.  Sure I have to start with a brand-new OB at 16 weeks, but I think it is worth it.  So why do I share this bit of info?  Because I couldn’t stop thinking about how much it had to do with the role a teacher plays in a child’s life.  In fact, a child’s teacher is one of the only things we have absolutely no say in as parents, one of the only areas in our life we are left without a voice.

In America, a child is assigned a classroom teacher at the elementary level and that teacher is the biggest educational influence that year.  Parents have usually no say in who that teacher is and have to place their faith in the hands of the previous grade level teachers and the principal.  Sure they can ask for a placement but I wonder how many principals actually honor it?  Now don’t get me wrong, I can understand why every single parent doesn’t get to pick their teacher -talk about a popularity contest – but still, shouldn’t there be room for some sort of input?  After all, that teacher can make or break the future of this child’s education and ultimate fulfillment in life.

Most of the time the placement of the child works seamlessly and there are no parent complaints, but sometimes it fails.  Sometimes the teacher’s style of teaching, of communicating, of caring for that child flies in the face of what the parent believes in and that uneasy feeling crops up.  Sometimes a principal is involved, sometimes, the parent just sucks it up and hopes for a better one next year.  But is this right?  Should parents have to wait a whole year to get to a new teacher?  Shouldn’t they be able to have a say in what type of teacher their child gets at the very least?  The type of nurturer and mind-shaper they think will benefit their child.

I think one of our downfalls in our schools is that we think we are the only child-experts.  That because we have taught for  amount of years we know what is best for children even if a parent doesn’t agree.  I think that needs to change.  We need to allow parent input in placement, ask them about communication style, about homework and classroom management, ask them what type of environment their child will flourish in and then place that child accordingly.  Don’t make it about the teacher; make it about the child and allow for choice in this sacred cow of the American school system.  I fired my OB, why can’t parents at least decide who gets hired for their child?

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being a teacher, being me, parents

I Can Understand Those Parents

Pernille Ripp

We are in California, visiting with my family, and Thea is socializing with her 2nd cousins. Watching from the sidelines is this nervous mother. I want to jump in. I want to explain that Thea is really loud and excited because she loves playing with other kids. I want to apologize for her rambunctiousness, chalk it up to nerves, and then make them embrace her. Except I don’t. And I won’t, because I know that this is how children learn to develop friendships. That this is what parents do; let go and hold their breath.

I know my daughter is a little whacky, she has oodles of personality flowing out of her like a river run wild. She loves people, she loves to give hugs, and she loves to be the center of attention. She is willful, stubborn, and loud. Qualities that may harm or help later in life. I know that when she starts school I will have to fight every urge to be “that” mother. I will have to stop myself from emailing her teachers on how best to engage her, on how best to calm her. I cannot be the mother that fixes the friendships or the assignments. I cannot be the mother that stops by just to check in.

I don’t know how other parents do it. I do not know how they can place so much trust in their chld’s teachers and just let go. I don’t know how we as teachers can just expect it every year on the first day of school. But we do and we get upset when parents intervene too much. We shake our heads at their long emails,take a deep breath when they surprise us with another visit. I now understand the parents better. I now get the need to explain, to protect, to guide. I do it for my own child.

being a teacher, communication, grades, parents, Student-centered

Why the Report Card Should Be Getting an F

Pernille Ripp
Several days ago I quickly jotted down thoughts on how one of the major components of education; the report card, may just be becoming obsolete. Immediately the discussion that followed was one that spurred me to think a little deeper on this institution, particularly as I approach the deadline for writing 25 of my own.

The report card used to be useful. Before the age of Internet and faster communication with parents, the report card was the communicator of success or lack of it from school. We have all heard the stories of what happened when a bad report card was brought home and can probably remember our own anticipation or dread when it was handed to us. This was it; the ultimate report on how hard we had worked, how much we knew, and how much we cared about school. The was no conversation, no goals, just grades and teachers recited missives which on mine included the usual, “Pernille should really try to apply herself more.”. Whatever in the world that means.

Yet now, faced with the ever-evolving tools for communication and also teachers own increased visibility and feedback giving, it seems it has lost its purpose. That is if its purpose was to report how the child is doing academically.  Instead many teachers have running grades online; which I don’t actually think is necessarily progress either, or feedback is given to the students or sent home regularly.  In my own classroom, I meet with students regularly setting goals and discussing how they are doing, not even handing them a letter grade but rather feedback and meaningful conversation.  This does get communicated to parents as well either through email, phone calls, or even small meetings.  Conferences also act as a communicator of progress and goals.  I may be in the minority of how I handle progress in my classroom, but I think I am in the growing minority.  So why also do a report card?  It seems to be a duplication of all of the work we already do although it does provide an easy out for those who choose not to communicate throughout the semester.

So if the report card’s purpose is solely to communicate to parents how their child is doing, there are certainly other alternatives.  How about a weekly email or note, penned by the student?  Or a shared Google doc where parents and students can add notes and questions?  Conversations can be recorded using a Livescribe pen and emailed to parents as well, which also creates another record.  In my team we already send home unit math scores breaking down each skill the student has been practicing.  Writing assignments are handed back with a rubric attached and comments on them.  To me, it seems that we already do all of the reporting that is duplicated for the report card.  What about a report card created by students?  I often wonder what they would put weight on and choose to report, and also how it would look.  Either way I think it is time for a change, do you?

So is it time for the report card to disappear or at the very least lose its formality?  Is it time for it to no longer be the final product and instead be a piece of information in a long line of information.  Should we hand back the power of goal communication to the students so that they can take more charge of their education?  I would love to hear your thoughts.

parents

Don’t Leave Out the Parents

Pernille Ripp

Parents – every teacher has an opinion on what their role in the classroom is.  Some people welcome them with open arms, others prefer to keep them in the copy room.  Whatever your take is, parents and dealing with them are an inevitable part of our job.  And yet nothing is really mentioned in teacher’s education about the role of parents and just how valuable they can be to our classroom.  No one sits you down and explains that when parents contact you it is probably because they have the best interest of their child in  mind.

I think we should embrace parents and their role in our teaching realm.  I think we need to stop assuming we know what parents want in our classrooms and rather ask them.  I think we should start assuming that parents are truly on our side and not someone who is out to get us.  This does not mean that I suggest they plan our lessons, but most parents know their child much better than we do, so we not ask their advice?Now is the time to reach out and create a lasting relationship built on trust and truly include parents in our classroom.

I think we are taught in college that we need to be the ones with the answer so if student X is acting out then we have to present a plan of act to X’s parents.  Why not dialogue instead?  Why not include them in the thought process rather than present them with a final product?  Mind you, I know that there are parents that are non-existent or truly do dislike a certain teacher, but even so, we must try.  After all, aren’t we yelling loudly how our voice is being left out in the education debate?  Don’t exclude parents from your classroom; what are we so afraid of?

being a teacher, parents, thank

Have You Thanked a Parent Lately?

Pernille Ripp
This week as I bask in the adoration that is teacher appreciation week at my school, I am often reminded of just how much people care and what an incredible feeling that is.  However, I am also reminded of how I am not alone in this adventure of teaching, how my decisions and ideas only can go so far without the support of parents.  So I think it is time we introduce parent appreciation into our schools.

I appreciate the parents of my students in oh so many ways.  They are the first to tell when their child loved a lesson we have done and also the first to tell me ever so gently that perhaps that lesson just didn’t make much sense.  For your feedback and honesty; thank you.

I appreciate the parents that take all of the time.  We know that parenting is a full-time job, even when your child is in school, so thank you to those that drop off the forgotten gym shoes, permission slips, or lunches. Thank you to those that plan and prepare the extra events.  Thank you to those that donate time, energy, supplies to our ever-involving ideas.  And thank you to those that support, whether in person or through thoughts.  I feel the involvement and I do not take it for granted.

I appreciate those parents that dare to speak up.  That tell me when something is going amiss or when an injustice has happened.  Thank you to those that push me to become better, more, deeper and aren’t just alright with stale teaching.  Thank you also to those that believe that we can always improve and trust me to come up with new ways to reach their child, whether it is in familiar territory or not.

So truly, this is not about the what happens in the classroom, but what happens in the community we build up around these incredible students.  I am not alone in this nor do I ever want to be.  The parents are the ones that help a school year become an incredible one.  The parents are the ones that help me excel.  Thank you for placing your faith in me as an educator and caretaker of your child.  Thank you for believing that I am a good fit for your child and that my abilities will help your child achieve greatness. Thank you for trusting me.   Without you this would not be the incredible journey it is.