Category: reflection

The old Pernille would have marched them down to the office, left them there to simmer in their anger, left them there to let someone else deal with it.

The old Pernille would have asserted herself, reminded that angry child that I decide and they are going to do exactly as they are told…now.

The old Pernille would have raised her voice, pointed her finger, and perhaps even gotten a little red in the face.

But not this time, not this Pernille.

Instead, I remind myself to stay calm, that this is not personal.  That this child that so wants me to become a dragon does not need another teacher yelling at them.  That this child that stands before me has had nothing but adults telling them exactly what to do and repeating it over and over.

So this child needs a new start, someone that gets it, someone that sets boundaries but does not hold a grudge.  This child needs an adult that sees more than the anger, more than the noncompliance, hears more than the angry words.

So I try to be that teacher.  I try to shrug it off, to smile and crack jokes to alleviate the tension.  I try to help before it gets to this.  I try to get the child to trust me.  To have them feel that I am worthy of them letting down their guard.  Even though sometimes I want to scream and point my finger.  Even though that sending them to the office would be so much easier.  Even though I am not sure this will ever end.  But I still have to try.

image from icanread

The hunched shoulders, the heavy feet, weary smiles, and that aura of never getting it done.  The rushed conversations, the walk straight to your room and back, the eating in your classroom just so you can get it done, except done never seems to come. Whether you are haunted by the common core, the state report card, your upcoming evaluation, or even just the every day;  “Unslumping yourself is not easily done.”Thank you, Dr. Seuss.

So what do you do when you are stuck in more than a rut, when the school year seems to be crushing you and your desire to teach.  When the outsides figure in as much as the insides and teaching just isn’t what it used to be.  How about you

• Find the right people and get it off your chest.  A conversation about what is happening can sometimes push you in the right direction.
• Surround yourself with positive people.  I don’t mean unrealistic people, but ones who want to discuss solutions rather than just settle with the problems.  Ones that will listen when you need it and offer advice when they can.
• Step away.  Don’t come in on the weekend, sometimes a break is needed more than that extra prep.
• Realize you are good enough.  Teaching is never done and there is always something more to do but sometimes what we do has to be good enough.  We cannot sacrifice every moment of our lives just to teach.  Sure, we are shaping lives but don’t forget about the shape of your own.
• Get connected.  My network of educators have unslumped me more times than I can count, whether it be my incredible colleague down the hall or people whom I have only met on Twitter.  Reach out, listen up, and try some new things.
• Re-evaluate your style.  Sometimes it is our own expectations and way we teach that add so much extra to our days.  Once I re-evaluated worksheets my load got a lot lighter.  Ask yourself what is needed at the core of your teaching and then follow that.
• Partner up.  Why is our reaction to stress and munting pressure to withdraw, it should be the exact opposite.  Partner up as a grade level and use each other’s lesson plans and materials.  Trust your team to make quality lessons.
• Forgive yourself.  Sometimes we are our worst enemies and we constantly pick out our own flaws in our teaching, we constantly see only the child that did not get it.  Forgive yourself for the things that you cannot change, forgive yourself for having an outside life.  Forgive yourself for not being able to reach everyone at all times, even though you will keep on trying.

image from icanread

You never know when you will have one of those weeks that is worth looking back upon, they mostly sneak up on you.  This was one of those weeks and although I should blog about every single one of these things, well most of them anyway, I won’t.  I would, for once, rather just get to the point so you can too.

• Ask someone what they are really into right now and see what happens.  I have been asking colleagues virtually and face to face what they are really digging and cannot believe what I have been learning.  From great new picture books to awesome doodads (who doesn’t love doodads) and all it took was asking them.
• Get yourself into an intimidating situation.  I am an extroverted introvert so when John Pederson asked me to join him, Will Richardson, Diana Laufenberg, Curt Rees and Stuart Ciske for dinner my immediate thought was, “No way!”  I tend to shy away from meeting people I admire on Twitter because they are just way out of my coolness range.  With some pushing from my husband, who even set up a sitter so I could go, I took the plunge and had a very interesting evening.  I didn’t add much to the conversation but I was there just listening and that in itself was enlightening.
• Unfollow everyone.  I thank John Pederson for this idea after I explained I felt like I was in a Twitter rut not really following new people or making new connections.  He told me to unfollow everyone and start over, so I did, and was he ever right.  I am already making new connections and branching out into more conversations.  And by the way if I unfollowed you and haven’t yet followed you, reach out, I am sleep deprived and can only recall so many Twitter names.
• Toot your horn.  Today wraps up The Global Read Aloud which this year boasted more than 30,000 students participating on 6 continents.  No one from my district would know that if I didn’t speak up, so I did, and it’s ok.  Because this project is my passion and gosh darn it others like it too.
• Toot the horn’s of others.  Professional development in my district has been a mixed bag of failures, lameness and all around insanely boring times, except for the one this week.  My district finally nailed it when they had teachers present and allowed us to sign up for what we wanted to go to.  So I took to Facebook and Twitter to share the love for the presenters who finally gave us something worthwhile to do.
• Trust your gut.  My kids started a new daycare this week and although the provider is full of love, it is just not the right fit for us.  So instead of sucking it up, I have spent the last two days frantically trying to find new care for them, not an easy task in Madison if you want quality care. However, I cannot with a good conscience send my kids somewhere where they don’t have a great learning environment, right now I can control that, so I will.
• Celebrate but realize what you are celebrating. With the Wisconsin report cards being released for all schools, I was thrilled to see my school, West Middleton Elementary  ranked 31st in the state.  Ironic since my school is also a Title 1 focus school for our achievement gap.  So at first I thought of how great an accomplishment this was, until I realized that most of that ranking are based on things I have nothing to do with;  student financial situation, housing, food, sleep, and just being a school in a suburban district.  We are still failing to reach all student but do a good job with most, I can take credit for the most but I have to focus on the few.
• Take a risk even if it is small.  I was approached to be a monthly contributor to a big blog this week and at first I was really excited, but then decided against it.  When you let your self-doubt control your actions that is often what happens.  Upon further consideration, I realized that perhaps I could do this after all, and that my voice matters.  So take a chance, believe in yourself, like we believe in our students, and do something just a little bit out of your comfort zone.  (And look for my upcoming monthly guest blog on TeachHub.com starting in November).