7 weeks ago we got the biggest surprise of our lives; a positive pregnancy test telling us that our 4th child will be joining us at the end of February. While unplanned, this child is so wanted. And so when my body turned against me last week, we thought we had lost our little miracle.
24 agonizing hours later I got to see our little baby kicking , unaffected so far by the hemorrhage that I also have in my uterus. And so begins a fight for this baby and its life. While what I have comes in many forms, it tends to not be a big deal and yet my body has decided to make it a big deal. Just within the last 7 days I have had 3 midwife appointments to check whether the baby is still alive. Every time I have left these appointments so grateful for the fighter that continues to grow within me.
I have gone back and forth with whether or not we should share the news of my pregnancy. I have wanted to scream it from the mountain tops but at the same time when there is no guarantee of success, I don’t want to burden others either. And yet, I have to celebrate the miracle that has happened for us. I want to make it public to tell this little baby that we believe that we will get to hold it in our arms come February. That we will need every seat in our stupid minivan, that Brandon will need to build us a 5 bedroom house one day.
So I need a little bit of hope and good luck from all of you. A little bit of good thoughts to tell this baby to keep fighting my stupid body which had no complications carrying twins but here sees to have met its match. Just a little bit of love, a little bit of perseverance, so whatever lies ahead is something we can all get through.