Augustine was supposed to be born February 23rd, 2014. Instead on December 19th at 5:25 PM she arrived so quickly in a dire situation that the nurse had to catch her because the doctor was not even in the room. As we look at our 30 week old baby, there are so many thoughts crowding my mind, but the biggest one is, we cannot always control everything.
I thought I had this 3rd pregnancy all figured out. I thought I had my plan figured out, when I would go on leave, when we would set up her things, when we would move the twins out of the cribs. What I would pack, how I would say goodbye to my students, how the delivery would go. I was wrong on every single account. And yet, it all worked out ok, she is here, she is safe, and yes our journey forward is going to be very different than the one imagined, but this was what needed to happen to ensure her survival. I may have thought I had it all figured out, but she proved me wrong.
How often do we make such meticulous plans that it is more the actual unraveling of our plan that is our undoing and not the actual new course of events that undoes us? I am not unnerved by the situation, but by the newness of everything happening. This was not in my plan. This was not how it was supposed to be, but it is. And that’s ok.
How often does this happen in our rooms when we stand with our meticulous lesson plans, our action charts, and our intended learner outcomes? How often do we think we have a kid figured out just right so that we keep them on the right path and their actions prove us wrong? How often do we listen to the child in front of us telling us how to do something rather than just go with the plan we decided? How often does that child know themselves better than we ever could?
We try to plan every moment, even when we know it is out of our control. We try to set things up optimally, even when we can’t. Augustine may have been our Christmas surprise but she has already brought so much to our lives. I am humbled by what I have to learn from her as she grows.