To the girl who cries at night,
You may not want to hear my words. You may not want me to care. You may think that we adults, we teachers, have no idea what you are going through. You may think that the world is coming apart, that all of those people you thought you could trust, who cared about you, turned out to be frauds. You write your poetry, telling your teachers that it is not personal, you speak to us of friends that are having a hard time. You reach out, but you shield yourself in every possible way. Just so we don’t catch on to the fact that it is not your friends that are hurting, it is you.
And I get it. Right now, life seems like it is too much and there is no way to dig yourself out. Like having a concerned teacher will only cause more problems, add to the burden, and so you stay silent, struggling through as best as you can. You keep putting on the mask, every single day, putting on your brave face so that no one will spy the cracks in your armor. But at night, when it gets dark and you are alone, that’s when you cry, and you wonder why you keep coming to school, why you keep caring, because no one seems to care about you.
I am here to tell you, we do. I am here to tell you that we see the cracks, that we see how much you try every single day. That we see the hurts being thrown your way and we try to shield you in all of our lessons, all of our words. We try to teach empathy, kindness, and love in the picture books we read. We speak to you about friendship, tolerance, and acceptance. We show our human side so that you know we are more than just teachers. We greet you every day so that you know that someone sees you. We leave our doors open so that any time you need us, you can come in. We have arms that will give hugs and shoulders that will carry the burden with you. We may not have the answers, but we do have the time to listen.
So to the girl who cries at night, you are not alone. Even when it feels like there is no one left to care about you, that there is no one left to notice whether you are here or not, we do. Every single day, we look for you, every single day we try to reach out. We try to convince you that it gets better. That when you think that life will always be like this, it won’t. Yes, middle school may seem like a cruel place at times, but there are so many people who care. Who want to create the best experience for you, and not just the academic one, but the emotional one.
So to you, the one with the brave face, who fights her way through her year, just so you can say you did it; I see you. I am here for you. And I am going to tell you, I know how you feel sometimes, because I was the girl who cried at night. Who thought that life would never get better. Who got up every single morning eager for the day to be over, just so one more day would have been lived. Who thought at times it was too much and that no one cared whether I existed or not. I was wrong, and you are too. You may not know how many people care right now, but they do, and we do. So keep coming to school, keep letting us in. Open up and let us help. You don’t have to be alone.
I am a passionate teacher in Oregon, Wisconsin, USA but originally from Denmark, who has taught 4th, 5th, and 7th grade. Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. The second edition of my first book “Passionate Learners – How to Engage and Empower Your Students” is available for pre-order now. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” is out now from Corwin Press. Join our Passionate Learners community on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.
5 thoughts on “To the Girl Who Cries At Night”
Pernille, your words touched my heart. You are a real, deep thinking and highly empathetic person. This comes through so clearly in your chosen profession as a teacher. The students in your care are blessed to have a teacher who deeply wishes to help them to feel better about themselves, to learn to cope with their world ( to feel safer) and to know that someone out there truly cares.
I really enjoy reading your blog posts, every one of them. Please don’t stop writing about your students, about your teaching life, about you teacher moments.
Halfway across the globe, my 13,14,15 year-olds are breaking my heart and healing them over and over again.
I had a teacher moment and then I read your blog and decided to share about this story. https://cikgusue.wordpress.com/2015/05/17/are-we-doing-the-right-thing-by-keeping-them-in-school/
This was powerful and I was close to tears while reading it thinking that your words, your story, belongs to so many children. Your gift for words and touching certain emotions is wonderful. I hope many read this and pass it on, I know I certainly will.
Reblogged this on Erin Luong's Reflections on Counselling, Education, Leadership and Technology and commented:
This is so true and meaningful for me too. enjoy
Your post touched home and my heart today. Thanks