Perhaps This Will Be the Year

Perhaps I will have bad days this year.  Perhaps I will have a lot.

Perhaps I will not reach them all, nor even know when I am not.

Perhaps this will be the year that I will think of in years to come when I tell the stories of all of the things I should not have done.  Of all the mistakes.  Of all the failures.

Perhaps this will be the year of tears, of doubt and anger as I drive home eager to leave it behind.

Perhaps this will be the year where I rethink everything, much like I have in the past, but not because I want to but because nothing works.

Perhaps this is the year where all of my school nightmares actually do come true and I will have no control, nor any desire to keep on teaching.

Or…

Perhaps this will be the year where more of our crazy ideas will actually work.

Where those dreams I had on long summer nights actually happen just like that.

Where every child feels seen.

Where every child feels heard.

Where every child feels they matter.

And this teacher feels the importance of their work.

Perhaps this will be the year that I go home eager to share the stories of the wonderful students I teach and all that they can do, much like I have in the past.

Perhaps this will be the year that I don’t want to end, because this is the year, this is the year…

Perhaps this will be the year that I will always try to duplicate, to pine for when things get tough.

Perhaps this is my year.  The year I have always hoped to have.  Perhaps I will finally be enough.

I just don’t know until it starts and then until it ends.

I just don’t know until they come and we begin.

But I do know that I can choose what year I think I am going to have.  I can choose the perhaps to remember.

I can realize that I can be the difference between a child loving school or hating it and never forgetting that immense responsibility.

Perhaps this will be the year where I cry but also laugh, but I know for a fact that this will be the year where I tried.

Because we always have a choice.

If you like what you read here, consider reading my book Passionate Learners – How to Engage and Empower Your Students.  Also, if you are wondering where I will be in the coming year or would like to have me speak, please see this page.