being me

Dear @Pink

Dear Pink, or should I call you Alecia?

You don’t really know me, not much any way, not unless you count the few minutes last night that we met in a back hallway in the Fiserv Forum as you hugged my little girl, Thea, who is not so little any more, and told her about your own experiences with bullying and how we could not let them win.

I was Mama, the woman who stood there with tears in her eyes, not quite sure that the scene that unfolded in front of her was real. Not quite sure how we went from sitting in a seat waiting for you to come onstage, fulfilling one of our bucket list items together, to standing here in your presence. Trying to decide in that moment whether we deserved to be here with you, you who have given so much of yourself to the world already. You who fight for the under dog. You who say the words that so many of us want to but sometimes don’t have the courage to. Yet here we were, living out a dream, neither one of us had ever contemplated.

You saw my tweet celebrating that the bullies had not won. That we were going to use your concert as a way to celebrate that no matter what words they flung at Thea, no matter how hard they pushed, how hard they hit, how many times they chanted all of those ugly things, they would not win. That they did not win.

And so you gave us the most valuable thing you have; your time, and for those few minutes, you changed our lives, cementing a course we had already begun, but gave us the push to keep going. You saw us in our quietest but biggest moment of reclaiming. You saw us face those words that had kept us awake for so many nights. You saw the tears of what it feels like as a parent to not be able to defend your child, to not be able to make your child believe what you shout loudly all the time, you saw the love that we have for our children and how we would do anything to build them up.

But what you didn’t see last night after you gave us your time, was how Thea reacted. How at first, she couldn’t believe it. Neither of us could. After all, who would think that a tweet would lead us to hugs and talks to you? How we kept telling ourselves that this was real, that this had happened, that you were exactly what we thought you would be – passionate, caring, real.

But what you didn’t see last night, was my little girl, who like I said is not so little anymore, feel like she was truly somebody worthy. Feel like the past year, with all of its anger and tears was no longer her year, was no longer her defining moment. Was no longer the story she was writing.

What you didn’t see last night was when you talked about Thea on stage and then sang the song we had yelled at the top of our lungs so many times at home, that Thea had tears in her eyes. My girl, who does not cry unless she is hurt badly or very tired, stood their singing along with you from section 116, row 14, seat 1, screaming your words back at you, telling you that she believed it too.

Because that’s what meeting you did for her. It allowed her to believe that the words were meant for her. That all those times we sang “…change the voices in your head, make them like you instead…” we meant it. That those words were real and true and everything I , as her mother, wanted her to believe.

So when you sang, “Pretty, pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel, you are less than, less than perfect…” Thea reached for my hand, squeezed and then turned toward the world and sang. She knew the words were hers but sang loudly for the rest of the world to hear them as well. For all those kids who need those words. For all of the adults, including me, her mama, who needs them too.

So dear Pink, thank you. Not just for making the embers of what Thea is turn into a fire. Not just for giving us your time. Not just for being you and fighting for us all. But for telling Thea that what the bullies had tried to make her believe was simply not true. For allowing Thea to take a moment to tell you how she admires you. For telling Thea that she was beautiful.

And for giving me the reminder that we can all be more like you. That as a teacher, I get to tell the kids that are in my care every day, how amazing they are. How much they matter to the world. How with every moment I am with them, I can be like you, and help them see the beauty within themselves.

This morning as I drove Thea to school, she was unusually quiet. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that she was so sad it was all over. That the night before had ended. But I realized that in that moment that she was wrong and I told her so.

I told her, “This is not the end, this is the beginning, your journey forward has just begun.”

And her smile came back and I dropped her off and I swear she floated as she walked.

So dear Pink, thank you. From one mama to another, thank you for what you did last night. Thank you for fighting for us all. Thank you for putting yourself out there so little girls, and not so little girls, can remember what it means to be unapologetically amazing. And for us who have been around a while to remember it too. We can be the light that shines on others. We can be the arms that reach out. We can keep going even when it burns because like we sang with you just last night, “…just because it burns, doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try…”

So that’s what we will do, keep trying. Keep believing. Keep living. Keep knowing that we are not broken, just bent…

Love,

Thea’s Mom

34 thoughts on “Dear @Pink”

  1. It was hard to get through that without crying. I’m so glad Thea had that moment. It never really ends cause she’ll always carry it in her heart x

  2. Incredible. Go Thea! Go Pink! Go Mama! Never, never, never let them get you down, dear Thea. You are every great thing and more. So happy to read about this. (And yes they were wrong, but you have survived and will thrive. What do they have? Maybe in time they will learn to be decent human beings, but that is up to them. Do NOT let them pull you down ever again.)

  3. Once again, Thea’s story truly touches my heart! Thank you for sharing it with the world. All the best to Thea and her fabulous mom.

  4. What a beautiful story. You have a beautiful daughter who has a beautiful mama with a new friend in Pink. I love her now even more.

  5. I found this via pinks last tweet. Thank you for helping express my love for someone who has supported me from afar since I was 13. I’m 30 now and still going to her shows trying to soak in those words in person. I’m so happy for your daughter. Goodness comes to good people. Tell her to hold that strong brave head high. ♥️

  6. ‪For Pink, your songs got me thru one of my worst heartbreaks, and just when I thaught I was strong enuff to move on, he came to his senses and well, now we’re happily married and 2 kids later…. for Thea, I was bullied when bullies were actually cool, which sucked for me… I was the girl who sat by herself, got spit on by boys, when I did make a friend, the “popular” girls would find it amusing to turn that friend against me… I went to school, I survived… and now all of those “bullies” look at me and can see the beauty I had inside all along, shows now … and all the ugliness they spewed my way, shows on them… what’s on the inside will ultimately shine thru, good, bad, ugly, keep on living your best life, keep on singing pinks songs, treat everyone as if they are walking in your shoes, and 10 yrs from now, when u see those bullies, and see the what they had inside, all that hate and nastiness, when u see that showing on their outside, and your beautiful… well… it’s then u will be glad for the experience and for all those tears … hurt people like to hurt people.. and when they see a beautiful, nice and loved person.. they want to make u hurt like they hurt.. so tomorrow when u go to school.. and the bullies try their hardest to make you hurt, it’s only because your beautiful.. and loved… and nothing what they may say… ‬

  7. This story made me cry, I felt the need to comment, took me rite back to those painful days, and I just wanted to let you know, their words aren’t your truth… they weren’t mine, life is too short… and your too precious .. your beautiful and you are loved…

  8. This made me weep! This is so well-written and spot on! I’d like to thank YOU for thanking P!NK. She is also on MY bucket list as my daughters (ages 6 and 8) and I belt out several of her uplifting songs to school weekly. Thank you, Pernille, for sharing your gratitude so eloquently with someone who deserves it so profoundly. My love for both of you has grown even deeper!

  9. I have no words for this! I cried reading every word! You are an amazing mom who raised an amazing not so little girl. P!nk is an amazing human being. We all need to be a little more P!nk! Go Thea!!

  10. Incredible. Do we make a difference? When we build our students up, when we help them be brave, when we help them move through and past the shit? Yes.

    Thank you to you and Thea and Pink. You are all heros.

  11. Thank you for sharing this amazing experience. It makes me love P!nk even more than ever, and I am so happy that Thea has those moments with her. Hearing herself validated in a song must have been very powerful!

  12. Beautiful… simply beautiful. I cried, and not much makes me cry. What an amazing mom you are who’s no doubt raising an amazing daughter.

  13. Oh my – this is truly beautiful. Thank you for articulating so clearly exactly how much that time with Pink meant. Not just a simple ‘thank you, it was really special’ but by saying the deep impact of it for Thea and yourself has made that so much more real and valuable to those of us who read your posts. Thank you for letting us gain so much from your experiences, it truly does have an effect on many others.

  14. I so impressed by the love that is being thrown around- by all of you!
    It’s the one and only thing that will annihilate the negative that any bully could muster up. Thea, you have very special women in your life and now you have a memory to carry with you. Use it like a coat of Armour to fend off those who aren’t smart enough to see just how special YOU ARE!!

  15. This is beautiful. All of it: your words, Pink’s time and encouragement, Thea’s bounce in her step. I’m ugly crying here. It’s beautiful.

  16. This brought a rush of memories and tears to my eyes. My little girl, who is a mom herself, was bullied in middle school. 16 years ago the bullies were protected, and the bullied had to put up with it. Today it brings me comfort to know that they now have programs to help. I hope & wish as a grandma that my grand babies only know love and friendship.

  17. I was at the show in Milwaukee with my own daughter. When Pink told your daughter’s story and again shared a message about love and acceptance and taking back your own power, I looked at my own dear girl and said “and that is why we love Pink”. Thank you for sharing your story and best wishes for Thea.

  18. I was at that concert and was so impressed with Pink taking time meet your daughter, but I was not surprised. I’m impressed with you too, for giving your daughter the power to take her life back from the bullies. You, Thea and Pink ROCK!!

  19. The extent to what other people say matters is very narrow, and very limited. The most freeing thing is to realize that you only have to be comfortable with yourself, and if you are, nothing anybody else thinks matters. It transforms their words from powerful blows to irrelevant distractions. And once it’s a just distraction, you can ignore them, pass them by. Just be you. Life’s too hard to waste it trying to be what other people want.

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