Be the change, reflection, students

Dear Arnold…

Dear Arnold,
It was 2 weeks into the school year and there you were in the office; pants down by your knees, no backpack and the biggest grin stretched across your face.  When you asked me if I was your teacher and I said yes, you wrapped both tiny arms around my belly and gave me the biggest hug any skinny 4th grader had ever given me.  As we walked to the classroom, you eagerly asking questions, I thought about how lucky I was to have you in my room since you had that great big smile, if only your pants weren’t so close to your knees.

The class invited you in, they were used to kids coming in from other cities and also fell under the spell of your smile.  Introductions were made, tentative friendships were formed.  Then one day, you started yelling. You were so mad, I had never seen a skinny little child scream so loud and so fiercely standing up for what you thought was an injustice.  Pulling you out into the hallway, I calmed you down and soon that big grin came right on back.

It was like a bubble had burst that day.  The grin was hidden away and the anger and the need to fight for yourself became a frequent visitor.  And yet, you never were angry at me.  I never felt threatened even when other teachers pointed to my growing belly and asked how I felt safe in my room.  I tried to explain to them that you were just being loud, venting a bit, and that all that screaming really was just for show; a way for you to fight for yourself as you had had to do so many times before.

Every morning you would say hello to the baby in my stomach and you would tell all the other kids about it.  Every morning I would remind you to pull up your pants, until I finally got you a belt, which you then strapped around your knees so that the pants stayed right there.  Almost every day I would pull you out in the hallway and remind you to just breathe, the others weren’t trying to make you mad.  Take a deep breath, let’s talk about it.

It was time for the baby to come so I went on leave.  I cried even though I knew my kids were in the best of hands.  I would try to sneak by for visits with the new baby but you always spotted me from the classroom window as if you knew that today was the day I was going to stop by.  You loved that little baby as much as you loved me and you told her that every time you held her.  I noticed you now had sticker charts and reminders of anger management strategies and that your grades were so bad.  And yet, when I walked in that door you told me about the good things.  See Mrs. Ripp, I got a C on this paper.  See Mrs. Ripp, I did this.  Your pride could not be taken away.

I came back from leave and you were the first one down to my room.  That big old hug came out again and you mentioned how much easier it was to hug me now.  Later that afternoon, that angry little boy was there again, yelling so loud for my attention.  Your lungs must have gotten bigger in the 12 weeks I was gone because I had never heard such a noise come from such a tiny child.  Just breathe, it will be alright.

The school year started winding down and we still battled with your demons.  I could read all of your signs.  Your fist closing, your quicker breaths, your eyes darting from place to place.  I knew when that voice would come back and I knew that you weren’t mad at me; you were just mad at the world.  And the world sometimes seemed to be mad right back at you.  That final day when we said goodbye, you cried sitting under your old desk.  You looked up and asked me, “But Mrs. Ripp, what am I supposed to do?”  I had no answer so I simply hugged you one more time and cried with you.

All summer I thought about you and tried to contact you with no luck.    When another year started I was told you had moved again and would not be back to my school.  I just hoped and wished that I had given you enough reminders to breathe, calm down, it’s not you against the world; it’s us against the world.

I still look for you whenever I find myself in a big crowd of kids.  Hoping that from somewhere in the middle of all those little bodies, one set of skinny arms will reach out and hug me and say “Mrs. Ripp, where did you go?”  And I would tell you, “Nowhere, I am right here if you need me.”  Arnold, I am still right here.

aha moment, Be the change, students

Love Them Before You Know Them- Greta’s Aha Moment

Greta Sandler who is an elementary level English as a Second Language teacher in Buenos Aires, Argentina shares this week’s “Aha” moment.  She fell in love with the English language as a child and continues to be passionate about teaching and technology.  As a child she decided to become an ESL teacher but it was as an adult that the road ahead suddenly became clear.  Follow this passionate educator on Twitter at @Gret and keep an eye out for her very own blog coming soon.
I can still remember that day as if it were yesterday. It was my first day at a new school and my first year as an elementary teacher. My lifetime dream was coming true. So special was this day that everything around me was inspiring. I could savor every minute, every second there… just thinking of what it would be like, trying to imagine each of my new students, wondering if I would be able to connect with them, if I would be able to get the best from them. It was that day when I heard a teacher say a magical phrase, “The secret for a successful connection with students is loving them before actually meeting them.”  For some reason, that phrase stayed in my mind. I wondered what she had meant by that, I couldn’t actually figure it out, but it just felt special.

When I was assigned my group, I found out that there was a boy in my class, Thomas, who had an average performance, but serious behavior problems. What’s more, he was about to be expelled from school. I was sure there was a reason for his attitude. Little did I know that the reason would break my heart; it turns out that Thomas had been a victim of sexual abuse some years before. I didn’t know that kid, but he was already my favorite student. I talked to the other teachers, but only heard things such as: “I hate that kid,” “Don’t waste your energy on him,” or “It’s a hopeless case.” Needless to say, that was one of the saddest moments in my teaching career. In his record, all I could find were terrible comments and tons of dark, colorless and aggressive drawings he had made… Everything I read, everything I heard, and everything I saw only made me want to help him more and more.

School started and I finally met my class. Thomas didn’t exactly behave well, but it wasn’t as bad as people had pictured it. I tried to connect with him from the very first moment. I would spend time talking with him, making silly jokes and just showing him I cared. Every now and then, I assigned him important roles, so I could show him how much I trusted him. I always remember calling him Tom, instead of Thomas, for the first time.  I can still see his face glowing, when he came to me and whispered: “I had never had a nickname before.”  I would have never imagined that such a small gesture would touch his heart.

I must admit, I was really surprised when he came to me after a couple of months and said he was willing to improve on his behavior. Not only did he try really hard, but he would also ask me at least once a day if his behavior was OK or not. In addition to this, his grades began to improve and his attitude changed. He started to make friends and he was finally able to participate in class, share his stories and speak his mind. Soon after, everyone started calling him Tom. I saw small changes in him almost every day. 

I was truly touched one day, when I arrived to my classroom and found a beautiful drawing on my desk. Someone had made a drawing of me with a big pink heart on my chest. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I realized who had drawn it. I couldn’t hold the tears when I found this note on the back: “Miss Greta, I love you. Tom”

As months passed by Tom had become a brand new kid. He didn’t behave perfectly, but his attitude was different. He was passionate about learning and eager to keep making progress. It was just motivating seeing him play with his classmates during break time.  Apart from that, his grades had significantly improved and by the end of the year he was one of the best students in the class.
At the end-of-year ceremony, Tom was given an award for his effort and improvement. While he was receiving the well-deserved certificate, I could see his parents and grandparents looking at him so proudly with tearful eyes. That was my “Aha” moment. It was then that I understood how powerful connecting with our students is. It was then, that I finally understood what the phrase I had heard in the beginning of the school year meant.

This experience has totally changed my outlook on teaching. It made me realize how powerful our job is.  I learned that teaching is more than just following a curriculum. We get to touch people’s hearts; we get this unique opportunity of making someone’s life different by giving them tools to be better, by teaching them to believe in themselves and by showing them they are special and unique. It’s by showing them we care that we’ll get to do the most. It’s by loving them that we’ll be able to make them flourish. 

Be the change, education reform, students

Who Wants to Teach "Those" Students?

I became a teacher because I believed that all students could learn.  I believed that children have a purpose in life; that all children do not start out mad or confused, or hopeless.  I continued being a teacher because children proved to me that they wanted to learn, be happy, have a better life, and they they did not mean it personally when they acted out.  And yet, as I read articles like the one posted in the LA Times today (via @LarryFerlazzo), I wonder how many young people entering college will want to become a teacher; a believer in all children.

America’s education policy is a numbers obsessed community.  We rank our students comparatively so that proper interventions can be given, we dole out pointless letter grades based on obscure percentages, we graph, we draw, we list from highest to lowest all in the quest of how to teach with more meaning, more ability, more effectiveness and more adherence.  This number obsession is now targeting teachers through merit pay suggestions, firings based on test scores, rewriting of school wide goals based on  the percentage of yearly growth in academics by individual teachers.  Nowhere is it mentioned where students started at the beginning of the year, what happened during the year, or any other factors that may have a play in how a child (and teacher) performs.  After all, how many of us have ever failed a test simply because we did not get enough sleep or had something else on our mind?  To use those test scores as the sole basis of observation of someones teaching skills is an injustice that we cannot afford to let pass.

I am not saying that there aren’t poor teachers out there, of course there are.  However, we all know many educators that are passionate about their job and passionate about their children.  Because that’s what they are; our kids.  We take them all; the hungry, the poor, the talented, the needy, the angry, the hopeless, the mutes, the ghost kids that are there one day and gone the next.  We invite them all into our room, into our lives and we do our best in teaching them something, even if it just means teaching them that ours is a room they can feel safe in.  And that is why I became a teacher; to invite them into my family, to show them all that someone cares about them, even if they have an overabundance of people who support and cherish them.

So as merit pay is discussed and jobs are cut because of test scores, I wonder; who will teach “those” kids?  The ones with the files as thick as a Harry Potter book, the ones everyone knows even if they have not taught them. the ones with the missing files that never seem to materialize, the ones that leave class to go to doctor’s appointments, counseling, therapy, or just never show up.  The ones that so brighten my day, even if they are  there half of the week.  The ones that are forced into an adult role when they are 9, the ones that carry their little sister’s backpacks in the hallway and hold their hand when they get on the bus because it is them against the world.  Who will teach those kids when you may lose your job because they did not live up to an inane standard set by a far removed government?  I will…will you?

Be the change, expectations, new year, students

What I Won’t Do on the First Day of School

Ahh, teachers in America are getting excited, nervous, anxious now that the first day of school is inching ever closer.  People are sharing classroom photos, ideas, as well as posts on what they intend to do on the first day of school.  These always give me such inspiration for change, such as this one by the fantastic Larry Ferlazzo, but I started to think, so what do I not want to do on the first day of school?

This year, I promise my students to not:

  • Sit behind my desk and wave at you, but instead be in the hallway, smiling.
  • Expect you to put everything away and stay organized, after all, learning can be kind of messy.
  • Hand you a folder with paperwork to fill out so that I can get to know you better.  Real community comes from conversation.
  • Give you a list of my rules; we will make expectations together.
  • Welcome you to “my room,” it is our room!
  • Talk about all of the homework you will have, instead I will share the great knowledge we will uncover.
  • Tell you how you can earn rewards; no stickers, stars or trinkets in here – knowledge is our reward.
  • Pretend that I know what you are going to say or only partially listen; you are my focus and will be the whole year.
  • Run to the teacher’s lounge and share stories about those kids that I have.  Instead I will share just how phenomenal this year will be.
  • Pretend that I have all of the answers or am the absolute authority in the room; this is a journey we take together and you get to teach me as well.
  • Hide that I am nervous.  I don’t know you either so, of course, I am nervous.
  • Tell you how to get an “A.”  Learning is not about grading, it is about learning, so grades will not be a main focus.
  • Second-guess everything I said or did; I will trust in myself and hope you do the same.
  • Be afraid to try something you suggested; after all, what is the harm in trying?
So ask yourself, what do you not want to do on the first day of school?  I am sure many more ideas will pop into my head.
Be the change, new year, reflection

Go Ahead; Lose Yourself

This post is inspired by a comment left by Susan, a new teacher, on my post “Do You Dare to Look in the Mirror”

Dear Self,
This year, allow yourself to lose the pointless homework, lose the percents, lose the monologue and for sure, all of the packets.  Feel free to lose the dioramas (wow, I hate dioramas), the stilted book reports, math pages that are beside the point and insane expectations for kids that are trying so hard.  Lose the F’, the D’s and any other letter that comes to mind, and the averages.  Lose the raising of eyebrows over late work, the percent deduction, the phone call home, and the threats of failure if work isn’t turned in.  Lose the “my room” and let it be “our room.”  Let go of black and white and invite in some gray.  Lose the insane motivational posters that just clutter your walls.  Let go of a desk for every student, lose the need to organize them as you do your supplies.  Lose your inhibitions, your fears, your need for privacy.  Lose packaged lessons, and old ideas, or at least the ones that do not work.  But never lose your excitement, belief, warmth, or your heart.

Be the change, reflection

Do You Dare Look in the Mirror?

I am a loud mouth, I have opinions, I try to hide them sometimes successfully, most of the time unsuccessfully.  My school has undergone a lot of changes in the last couple of years and many new staff members have joined, myself included.  When you are new it is hard to not be excited to be there; after all you have just begun your journey.  It is hard to not be enthusiastic.  It is hard to not embrace any new idea that comes your way and then share it with everyone you meet.  While this can be a great quality, in large doses it becomes a nuisance.  We sometimes forget that even though an idea is packaged as a new thing, it is often something that came through the school 20 years earlier.  We are seen as one-track people, closed off to other ideas, too focused on our path and we blame others for being the same way, too ignorant to see ourselves in the reflection.


It is true that we lead by example, so every day this year, I want to be positive.  I want to be a multiplier, as Liz Wiseman calls us in her book “Multipliers.”  People of this nature are leaders that instead of taking all credit, pass it on and enable others to grow.  Ideas are thought of around these people, discussion is lively, other people’s voices are heard.  When you run into a multiplier, you know it; your head is full of new ideas and enthusiasm for whatever you spoke about.  I can point to many of such leaders in my school and in my district and not many of them are in official leadership positions.  

You also know when you meet the other type of person; the divisor.  These people lead from the top, they do not listen to ideas or invite discussion.  They are so focused on their goal, that even though what you say may benefit that goal, they cannot process or implement it. Divisors leave you feeling flat, demotivated, unappreciated, and ignored.  Many times, I have run into these people as well. 

So ask yourself much as I have; this new year do you plan on being a divisor or a multiplier?  Will you open your door to new inspiration, or at the very least leave it open a crack so that a couple of ideas may sneak in?  Will people want to come to you to participate in discussions, or will they be afraid to voice their opinion?  I have been a divisor, and I promise, never again.  However, to start this journey, I had to look at myself and really see myself to discover my effect on others.  Do you have the guts to look at who you are and then be honest enough to see if it needs change?  That is my hope for all the leaders in my school; whether leaders by title or leaders by nature.  Understand yourself so that you may understand the role you play.  Be positive, be eager, but know when to be quiet and listen.  The silence can be just as inspiring as the discussion.

While I cannot change people, I can change myself.  I want to become a full-time multiplier.  I want to spark other people’s intelligence and inspiration.  I want to get out of the way of new innovation, changes, and random exploration.  Not only do I want to be a positive force among my staff, but also min my classroom.  Kids can also be divided into these tow categories but are often not aware of how they affect others.  We must therefore lead by example and point out why some people make us feel better about ourselves.

This is my reflection and thoughts on school leadership as prompted by Scott McLeod’s call for edubloggers to speak about leadership today for Leadership Day 2010.