being a teacher

A Story Shared #SemiColonEDU

July 14, 2015 Pernille Ripp

Note from Pernille: Once in awhile I lend this blog to others whose story needs to be heard. This on one of those moments. SOothis post is not written by me, but instead by someone who wishes to remain anonymous. To learn more about the movement behind #SemiColonEdu see Nick’s post here.

I want to post this to my own blog in the worst way, but I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair. Its not my battle to share. You see, I have not been diagnosed with depression, but my husband has.

While his battle with depression is not mine to share, my story of living with him is. Depression does not only impact those living with the diagnosis; it impacts the lives of everyone close to him/her. Living with a spouse who deals with depression everyday is difficult, and loving him/her seems impossible at times. Depression manifests itself differently in people, and for me, my husband is quick to anger, but unfortunately, it seems like myself and our children are the only ones who get this version of him. You see, he’s the funny guy to everyone else. But I want to tell you about the day I pushed for help…and got it.

While my husband has suffered from depression for many years, it was a tragedy in his life that gave me the courage to gently nudge him to seek help. I thought it was gently; he likely disagrees. My husband experienced an extreme tragedy. He and his brother were the first firemen on the scene of a motorcycle accident that claimed the life of his “second set of parents.” It was horrible, and the sadness still looms. Shortly after the accident, his anger spiked. He lashed out at me horribly. He accused me of cheating on him repeatedly which clearly did not happen. He fabricated it in his mind, but his imagination was wildly vivid…and hurtful. He barked at the kids loudly and repeatedly for actions typical of kids, like leaving the light on in their bedroom. If he was not angry and yelling, he was angry and silent which was worse. While I knew he was struggling because of the tragedy, it was so hard not to internalize his pointed anger. My kids and I treaded lightly in fear of setting him off. He would never physically hurt us, but his words packed a power punch to the gut.

About six weeks after the tragedy, he had gone on a hunting trip with a good friend. He had been texting me from his tree stand; it was a combination of I love you and I hate you. I stopped texting because I was scared. Through these mixed signals, I realized his thinking was not rational. His mind was working outside the realm of reality. He realized I was ignoring him which fueled his anger, but I could not subject myself to his criticism and mind games anymore. His thoughts were so extreme. Honestly, he was delusional.

Prior to his return home, I called his brother and said, “I’m very worried about [your brother], and I’m going to ask him if he has considered suicide. He is going to be angry with me, and I need you to know that I’m asking him because I love him. I also need you to know I’m not walking out on him.”

Later that day, I did just as I said I would do. I asked him. I used the word. SUICIDE. I cried. So did he. Then he got mad. He assured me he would never do that, but to this day, I’m not convinced it was not a thought in his brain. He slept downstairs that night. The next morning he woke me up to say this, “I haven’t slept at all. I cannot believe my wife is trying to convince me to off myself!” Yep. He said that. I’ll never forget it.

He called me later to tell me he had called the doctor, and there was relief in his voice when he said, he could not get an appointment for five weeks. FIVE WEEKS! The tears poured as I hung up the phone. Once I collected my thoughts, I called the clinic and demanded to speak to our nurse. Apparently, my voice sounded desperate because they put me through immediately. Five minutes later, I had an appointment. Ten minutes later, my husband agreed to go.

The diagnosis started out as situational depression which he could deal with because of the trauma he endured. It has been almost two years, and while I have accepted his mental health diagnosis and the longevity of it, he has not. He doesn’t want to be a “pill popper” for the rest of his life. He doesn’t want to have to take Viagra to counteract the side effects. He doesn’t want to say, “I struggle with depression.”

The rest of the story is being written. Day by day. Month by month. Year by year. I pushed back that day because I love him. I love him everyday; even the days and months he refuses to take his meds. I’ll never know just how close I was to losing him, but I’ll always know he loved me enough to let me help him, and for that, I am grateful.

being a teacher, being me, honesty, student voice

A Students Shares What It’s Really Like Being In Our Classroom

July 12, 2015July 12, 2015 Pernille Ripp

For years, I have been sharing the sometimes magical, sometimes fantastical, and sometimes awful things that go on in our classroom. I have been honest in my blogs, I have presented what really happens, not diluted it or polished it to make myself look better. And while my students have blogged for years on their blog about being a member of our classroom I have never had one of them write it on here. Until tonight where one of my former 7th grade students, Corinne, agreed to write an honest post about what it is really like in our classroom. Besides adding paragraphs, I have not edited or added anything to this post. Thank you Corinne for your honest assessment of what it really looks like in our room!

She writes:

There is no doubt that Mrs. Ripp’s classroom is a classroom that anyone would want to be in. Being in Mrs. Ripp’s classroom every week day for a year has taught me so much, not only about English but myself to. Mrs. Ripp’s classroom is place that makes everyone feel important and wanted. Through out the year we did various projects and had various assignments that students sometimes enjoyed and sometimes hated. For example last school year every student that had Mrs. Ripp as an English teacher got the chance to write a non-fiction picture book. This was my favorite project that we did through out the year. I think that so many kids enjoyed it because everyone got to express themselves in their own unique ways.

An example of a project that many students disliked was our book club projects. I think the problem for most of the students who didn’t like this project was the fact that they were being forced to read. That is what I personally didn’t like about the project. For me it wasn’t so much the project itself, it was the mind set it was giving me. So most kids told Mrs. Ripp that they were reading when they weren’t, and then looked up the summary of the book on Google so that when it came time to talk about the book they knew what was going on. Other kids would simply decide that they didn’t want to read and they didn’t want to do the project, so they weren’t going to do it. Others would try their hardest but their hearts just weren’t in it. So then when everyone presented their horrific projects to Mrs. Ripp and we all got bad grades it was this HUGE reality check for everyone. But of course no teacher wants their students to fail so there is always a second chance in Mrs. Ripp’s classroom. Sometimes the second chance was coming in during a study hall and talking about what you could have done better, sometimes it was studying more and then getting a chance take the test again. Getting these second chances makes a big difference in grades and how they improve.

Through out the year in her classroom you get a lot of chances to do a lot of cool things that are once in a life time experiences. I find myself referring to it as “her classroom” but I know that if Mrs. Ripp were writing this she would be referring to it as “our classroom” because that is what it really is to her and that makes a big difference in the way she teaches and how and what you learn in her classroom. All in all being in Mrs. Ripp’s classroom is fun, exciting, interesting, and an educational opportunity that I wish everyone could experience.

Be the change, being a teacher, being me, believe, hopes, new year

You Are Not “Just” A Teacher

July 9, 2015 Pernille Ripp

“I am just a teacher.” How many times have we said it without even realizing it? Without realizing how much we are cutting ourselves down? How many times have we started our retort, offered an idea, or even pushed back with these words? I am just a teacher so no one has to listen to me. I am just a teacher so my ideas don’t have value. I am just a teacher so what do I know…

But here’s the thing, you are not just a teacher. You are so much more.

You are the first line of defense for a child’s love of learning. The original believer in all children. The person who every day gets up and thinks that they can truly make a difference.

You are a dream-builder. A planner. A wonder-er.

You are a compass for those who may be lost. A map for those who need to find a way. And a flashlight for those who have lost their vision.

You are not just a teacher, you are a pair of arms for those who feel the world is against them. A shoulder for those who need to cry. Ears that will listen to whose who feel no one hears their voice anymore.

You are someone who believes even when others don’t. You are someone who fights even after all seems lost. You are someone who never, ever gives up even when a child has given up on themselves.

You are not “just” a teacher, but instead a warrior whose urgency only grows with every child we meet. A campaigner for others to believe in the good that you see in a child. A window opener when all the doors have been closed.

You are the family that some children don’t get to have. You are someone who cares with everything you do. You are the voice of reason when others speak nonsense.

You are the last line of defense when others say no more, nothing else, we are done.

So yes, you may just be a teacher but think of what you are to all of those kids that you teach. Think of what you can be. And then think of what they will do knowing you were their teacher. So the next time you find yourself saying you are just a teacher, wear that title with pride. You are just a teacher, but teachers change the world.

I am a passionate teacher in Oregon, Wisconsin, USA but originally from Denmark, who has taught 4th, 5th, and 7th grade. Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. The second edition of my first book “Passionate Learners – How to Engage and Empower Your Students” is available for pre-order now. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” is out now from Corwin Press. Join our Passionate Learners community on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

Be the change, being a teacher, connect, control, principals, trust

Dear Administrators, Can We Tear Down the Great Divide?

July 9, 2015July 10, 2015 Pernille Ripp

Dear Administrators,

I am not sure I am the right one to bring this up,in fact, I am not sure it is my place to start this conversation. Yet, this blog has offered me a voice that not all teachers have, a place to start a public discussion that is needed. That doesn’t mean I am the best one to bring it up, but here goes nothing.

There has always been a divide between administration and teachers it seems. From the poor jokes about going to the dark side to the hushed conversations behind closed doors discussing the latest admin “screw up,” it seems that there is an invisible mountain between teachers and administration that both sides don’t understand the origin of. It is not that anyone wants to think of the other as being on another side and yet it crops up in conversation time and time again. But I am starting to wonder why we all seem to be okay with it. It seems to just be an accepted fact when I don’t think it should be. After all, are we not all trying to educate the same children?

So what is it that is creating it, and more importantly what can we do? Because I hear over and over that teachers don’t think their administration will believe in whatever idea they have, or their administration won’t give them permission, and I am always left wondering if this really is true. Do they really know that or is it just an assumption? In fact, how often do we assume what someone else may say or think and thus feel defeated? How often do we blame our administrators for something when we don’t know if it is really their fault? How often does our own fear of having a courageous conversation create unintended barriers?

Perhaps the divide has to to do with trust. While I believe almost all administrators trust their staff, I wonder how often that is explicitly communicated. Not just in words but in actions. I wonder how many times trust is assumed rather than discussed, how many times both sides assume that the other know their intentions. What if we decided that the other side couldn’t read our minds and instead started asking questions? What if we were told that administration trusted us in both words and action, would that break the divide? What if teachers started to tell their administrators that they trusted them, what would that do?

What if we gave second chances? What if we, every day, gave each other a new chance at doing what is best? What if we actively tried to create a community of educators just like we work on it with our students? What then?

I don’t know what the answer is. I am not an administrator, just a teacher who wants to find a solution. So dear administrators and other educators reading this, what do you think? How do we tear down the great divide? What can I tell all those teachers who feel like their administration will never trust them? Who feel like their administration will never understand what they do, what they are trying to do, and who feel no one has their back? Because I don’t think it’s true but maybe I am wrong, I have been wrong so many times before.

Thank you,

Pernille

PS: I am absolutely loving all of the great conversations that are happening due to this post. Here are a few responses to the post on other blogs.

John Bernia wrote a great response
So did Melissa Emler here

And Brandon Blom here

Be the change, being a teacher, believe, choices, MIEExpert15, teachers

We Are the Experts on Our Students

July 9, 2015 Pernille Ripp

I don’t remember when I started speaking up as a teacher. When my words no longer burned in my skull, my mouth tightly closed. When I finally had the courage to raise my hand and give my opinion and then wait and see what would happen. But I do remember how it felt; terrifying. My cheeks flamed red, all eyes on me. In my mind you could have heard a pin drop. Time slowed until someone else jumped in. Yet, in reality, it was probably not a big moment. Not something etched into history, nor remembered by the masses. So why is it we are so afraid to claim our expertise as teachers, ask questions, and speak up for the students we teach?

We seem to have no problem being told what to do as teachers. Whether we are a product of the teaching conditions we endure, or we simply don’t think our opinions have value, we mostly keep silent when it comes to new programs, new initiatives, and new decisions. We assume that everyone understands our students and thus the decisions being made will always benefit them. But we all know that that is not always true. And yet we wait for others to tell us what to do, so that we can follow their path. Instead of carving out our own, instead of adding our voice.

The thing is, we are the experts on the kids we teach. Not the amazing administrators we may work with. Not the consultant brought in or the outside expert. We are. And we need to speak up when things are not going to be in the best interest of those children. We need to at least offer our opinion, our advice, and then be allowed to adapt for the very students we teach.

If we know our facts. If we know our craft. If we know our research then we too are experts. Then our voices matter as well. But you have to allow yourself to have your voice heard. You have to trust yourself in adapting programs to make them work for the kids you teach. You have to allow yourself to ask questions, suggest modifications, create change so that the very students we are entrusted to teach will get the best learning experience.

Don’t wait for others to claim you are an expert, claim it yourself. Give yourself the same value that you place on your students. You know what is best for kids, so trust that. Stop creating more barriers than there needs to be because their future depends on you.

H/T to Jess Lifshitz and her early morning talks.

advice, aha moment, Be the change, being a teacher, being me, learning, Reading, Student

How to Break the Rules Gently – Creating Experiences that Protect the Love of Learning

July 8, 2015 Pernille Ripp

In true EdCamp Style, Nerdcamp yesterday was all about the collaborative sessions. I, alongside Donalyn Miller (!) ended up facilitating one of my all-time favorite sessions ever “How to Break the Rules Gently – Creating Experiences that Protect the Love of Reading.” I tried to tweet as much of the advice shared as I could but thought a follow up post would be in order as well.

Let’s face it, we have all worked within systems that went against our beliefs in some way. Whether we were told to follow curriculum we didn’t believe in, follow rules that broke our hearts, or even just compromise in a way we never thought were would. Being an educator often means we are wondering how to protect the love of reading in our classroom, the love of school. And not because people intentionally set out to destroy either of these things but sometimes decisions are made that have unintended consequences. So do you work within a system that has rules or curriculum that you want to change or break? How do you create change when it’s just you fighting?

You know your research. One of the quickest ways to keep a teacher quiet is to say something is research-based. So you have to know your own research says Donalyn Miller. You have to be willing to ask to see the research, and then counter with your own. Stay current, stay knowledgable and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Donalyn recommends the book Creating Lifelong Readers Through Independent Reading by Barbara Moss & Terrell Young as a great place to start. I ordered it yesterday. You also don’t say that you are “just” a teacher said Leah Whitford. You are a teacher, you have power.

You inform parents. Most parents think that what we choose to do in school is always in the best interest of the child, but this is not necessarily true. So have a classroom website where you describe what you are doing in class, what students have do, and also the requirements you are faced with. this is not to complain but rather to inform, because parents cannot speak up if they don’t know what is going on.

You speak kindly. I used to think change would happen with a sledgehammer approach but ow know that just stops people from listening to you. It is not that you should be quiet, or not be passionate, but you will get much further with a kind approach where you validate others in the process in furthering real change.

You compromise. We all think what we are doing is in the best interest of our students, so connect with others and share ideas. Withhold judgment when you can, but always share what is happening in your room and offer resources. Don’t claim for it to be the best, but simply share. Be willing to use others’ ideas as well and compromise on your team. That doesn’t mean you have given up your ideals, it means you are an adult working with other people.

You find your tribe. If you cannot find someone in your school that shares your same ideas, look to other schools in your district, look in your county, and obviously look online. The Nerdy Book Club is a great place to start. However, having local connections to keep you sane and invested is a must as well. It is important that you know you are not alone in your corner of the world, but you have to search these people out. They may be scared to speak up like you.

You work within the system. When I was told I had to do reading logs, I had students do them right in class right after independent reading. I was still doing what I was told but not sending them home. So find ways to work within the rules that may be imposed on you if you cannot break them completely.

You find your core beliefs. Figure out what your core beliefs are or values within the classroom, write them up, hang them up and then make every decision based on those. I think the visual reminder of what you are fighting for will help you pick your battles as well as lead the way.

You are willing to let go. Sometimes something we love does not fit the purpose anymore, so if you are asking others to change you have to be willing to change yourself. Even if you spent money on it. Because money doesn’t equal qulity or great ides or passionate students.

You find out the reason why. Often when new things are imposed on us, such as leveling a library or doing a reading log, there is a bigger reason behind it. Find out what that is so that you can try to find other ways to reach that same goal. So for example if you are told to level your library, if it is for students to be able to self-select “just right” books then explore other ways to achieve that. Present these ideas and be ready to discuss why these may be a better fit. As Donalyn said, “Everything we do is a scaffold toward independence – that’s the end game.”

You stop assuming. We are terribly good at assuming why rules are made or how administrators will react to us. And yet, often our assumptions are wrong. So have courageous conversations. Ask gentle questions and try to broach the subject. You may be surprised when you find an ally rather than an enemy.

You involve your students. The biggest advocates for independent reading time in my 7th grade classroom are my student, hands down. So offer them ways such as on blogs, vide, Twitter, newsletters or whatever else you can think of to spread the message about the things they love in your classroom. If you want parents onboard, get their kid excited about school!

You work together. Invite others in to see the classroom environment you have created. Ask other teachers to come in and observe if they want, admin even though you don’t have, get the special ed teacher to be a part of the movement or any other special teacher you can. Involve your librarian, they are a reading warrior if I ever met one. Bring in parents, have family nights. Find a way to spread the positive image of your class so that others will fight for it as well.

You stay persistent and passionate. Don’t confuse passion with anger, although it is okay to get angry sometimes. But stay passionate and persistent in your goal to protect students, stay on top of your reasons for doing things, stay up-to-date on research, and stay down to earth. No one wants to listen to anyone who thinks they are better than others. Don’t give up, real change can take a long time, but we must stay at it. Even if it seems like you are totally alone and no one is listening. As Jen Vincent said; “You never know what will come of a conversation you have.”