reflection – Page 7 – Pernille Ripp

When Teachers Bully Teachers

June 29, 2014December 29, 2014 Pernille Ripp

Three years ago, I wrote an anonymous post and asked a friend to post it for me. The story was burning up inside of me, but at the time I was too scared to publish it because I was in the middle of the situation, and terrified that it would only get worse. Yet I knew that there had to be others out there like me, who were going through the same situation, who felt so all alone just like I did.

Today I choose to reclaim my past as I leave my old district and school and venture forward, it is time to take back the power that this situation had over me. It is time to move on and away from the past. It is time to tell the story of what can happen when teachers bully teachers.

The year I got hired at my school my mentor moved away. I was eager, ready to learn, and most of all ready to form a team. Unfortunately I was the third wheel to a two-some that had been together for some years and had gone through some pretty heavy-duty stuff. They switched classes, they knew each other like the back of their hand, and I was the puppy always trailing behind, hoping they would throw me a bone. It wasn’t that they excluded me, I just don’t think I knew how to fit. After a while, I decided to go on my own, after all, my students were waiting for me to teach them and not having a team was not going to be a good enough excuse to fail my kids. So I forged on, challenging myself and hoping that one day my team would find space for me. That year I was by myself through difficult parent situations and difficult student situations. I ate lunch in my classroom because no one sat with me in the staff lounge. It wasn’t that they didn’t like me, they just didn’t have time for me. Instead other teachers were busy pointing out how I was a favorite since the principal spent so much time in my room. They didn’t realize that the reason he was in there was because I invited him just so I had someone to help me that first year. I didn’t realize how I was viewed until later in the year I was pulled into my principal’s office to be reprimanded for having said “Have a nice weekend” in the hallways. I was told that someone had complained about me since I should be thankful I had a job and not look forward to the weekend so much. In fact, it was later included in my formal observation that I should know my place more. Stunned, I asked who it was, but was refused an answer. I left that conversation wondering who would want to get me into trouble over something so trivial well knowing that it could have been many people. I felt so alone.

I heard the rumors about why I was hired (because of my looks), I heard how I was the favorite and was therefore given easy classes, extra things for my room, and basically had a free pass. I cried about it, got angry, tried to discourage the principal from coming into my room. It didn’t help. He stopped coming but the rumors continued. The whispers as I walked by in the hallway, the icy stares, the unreturned hello’s. The social isolation would have made any mean girl proud. So I got really quiet and tried to keep to myself, finding a couple of people I could trust, continuously trying to reach out to my team, hoping that someone would take pity on me. Few did, after all, I had done it to myself.

Once more I ended up in the principal’s office; this time a teacher had turned me in for disagreeing with a veteran teacher in a small meeting. I was written up for being disrespectful and not knowing my place. Again I asked who had come to the principal and was given no answer. It was not in my best interest to know and I should be happy that there were not more severe consequences. It was even put in my formal observation for the year, my permanent record, and I had to submit an apology to the teacher, who by the way, was not the one who had complained about me. Instead I was told to keep my mouth shut, know my place, and try to get people to like me. The ignorance of my principal that he, in fact, had anything to do with the fact that people despised me was more than I could take. I started to contemplate moving but decided that I wanted to stay to try to make a difference, to change the attitude, rather than to let them run me out.

This year I knew was going to be a challenge. One powerful teacher, in particular, had become the ring leader of my hate group. She complained about me to anyone that would listen, including my fledgling team, parents, and, of course, the principal. For some reason she had power and people listened. I knew that some of my more unorthodox ideas such as limiting grades and homework were really going to upset people, particularly some veteran teachers who already disliked me, she being one of them. And yet, I knew I had to keep growing as a teacher whether people hated me or not because after all how bad could it get? I would always have my principal or so I thought, instead I didn’t. He left me alone because he was told by senior teachers that they knew I was his favorite and how hurtful it was to them. So instead I became isolated, fending for myself. Thank goodness for a couple of good friends, my husband, and Twitter or I would have lost it.

Throughout this process I have been forced to look in the mirror again and again. Am I those things that people claim? Am I a person not to be trusted because the principal is my confidante, because I am his favorite? Will my students fail because of me? Will they not be prepared for the rest of their school years because of what I did to them? I have had to reflect and tear myself apart as I wonder; did I do this to myself? Sure, there have been days I have not been proud of, days where I should have kept my opinion to myself, or tread more lightly. Yet there has also been so many days where I did not deserve the treatment I was given, where even after extra effort, people just did not care, did not believe, did not want their minds changed. I also question myself; is this all in my head? Have I created the awkwardness, the silence, the people passing by my door rather than coming in? Then I realize that it did happen, that the rumors were spread, those hushed conversations, those scoldings really did happen. Perhaps I could have done more but I guess I will never know if it would have changed anything. I know I have not been a perfect team member, I know I have made mistakes, but I have also tried to do my best. I have been open, eager, welcoming, and ready to share. And yet somehow all of this was not enough,

So what has this year been like? Like the worst high school experience, the only thing missing has been being locked in a locker or having my car keyed. All year I have fought comments about how awful I am as a teacher and how dare I challenge what veteran teachers are doing. I have been told that other teachers worry about my students since I am not teaching right or even preparing them well. I have been told that I need to know my place over and over and that no one likes me. I have been told that no one wants to be on my team and that I am giving the school a bad name. I have been called selfish, delusional, and ineffective. I have been called a bad teacher. So this year I have cried, vented to close friends and just tried to rise above it. I know what is best for my kids. I know that I am good teacher. And yet, I am worn down.

It is funny; I have lied so many times about how supportive my school is of me, that I sometimes start to believe it. My principal was supportive, in secret, my special ed teacher, ELL teacher, and a few friends were, but that is really it. Some teachers have not cared, which was a welcome relief or just outright told me how they feel. The powerful teacher told me that she is genuinely worried for my students since she does not feel they will be successful next year and that I shouldn’t be allowed to teach. At least this time she said it to my face rather than behind my back.

So a couple of weeks ago, I did the unthinkable, I applied for a transfer to another school. After a secret meeting was called to discuss how the principal cannot be trusted and the powerful teacher cried about how she was the victim at our school, I thought; enough. I don’t want to be the scapegoat anymore. I don’t want to be in a place where success is not celebrated. Where challenges are not desired. This is not me. I love teaching and I want to teach for many years to come, but I cannot go to work in a place where I am not welcomed. Where I am blamed for things I have nothing to do with, where people feel they have a free pass to tell me how they really feel about me and my teaching style without even knowing anything. So I am leaving, and my heart is lighter, and yet I feel like a coward.

I feel like I should stay and fight for change like I have been the last 3 years. Like I shouldn’t rock the boat. But I can’t stay, it will devour me if I do. When I pressed send on that email letting my employee coordinator know that I wanted to transfer, I felt the biggest weight lift. And then I felt tears. These years of being hated, of not knowing who to trust or who to confide in has taken their toll. It will be a long time before I try to have a close relationship with my principal, in fear of being labeled, I will have a hard time trusting team mates. Too many times the accusations came from the team I was supposed to have and the protection did not come from my leader.

Postscript – I didn’t leave. I never got any of the transfers but instead received a phone call late one night. It was the ring leader calling to apologize. I still remember her words telling me that she knew she had done me wrong, that she had been a bully, that she had prayed about it, and she was sorry. In fact, she was so sorry that she had decided to leave the school (not just because of me). She asked me if I could forgive her and although I should have said yes, I told her I didn’t know. The damage she had done to me was so raw that I couldn’t think of forgiveness at this moment, I still don’t know if I could. So I stayed and I became a 5th grade teacher and found a team, one that might have thought I was a bit crazy, but still supported me. One that taught me that we can all get along, that there is room for all sorts of teaching, and that there are ways to discuss our differences. I stayed three more years until my heart called for a new challenge and a new district. Which is where I stand today, poised at the edge of a new adventure, hoping that this never happens to another teacher.

I am a passionate teacher in Wisconsin, USA, who has taught 4, 5th, and 7th grade. Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day. First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now. Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

being a teacher, classroom management, punishment, reflection, students

Call Me Crazy But It Is Still About the Kids…

June 24, 2014 Pernille Ripp

I stopped using a punishment system in my classroom, when I realized I already knew who would get in trouble.

I stopped using a reward system in my classroom, when I realized I knew who would be rewarded.

Few kids ever proved me wrong, instead they mostly stayed within the track that my management system had placed them in. And those that were always on the board? Who I was always calling out? They didn’t stay there for lack of trying, oh I tried to reach those boys behaving badly(because let’s be honest most of them were boys). I tried to reason with them, talk about the future, praise them when they made better choices, point out their mistakes so they could fix them, help them grow, help them learn. Support them, guide them, punish them when needed.

Sure, there was change. I could usually get them to work after a while. You take enough away and most kids will crumble at some point. You yell enough and most kids will get to it. But their behaviors never changed for good. The next day, the next week,sometimes the next period, the battle started over and sometimes I ran out of punishment options. Where do you go after you have sent a 10 year old kid to the office, had the principal yell at them, and pulled in their parents? Do you start to suspend so that they will work harder? Do you take away every privilige until they break?

It wasn’t until I got rid of my systems and started working on relationships, community, trust, and creating a passionate classroom environment, that the behaviors changed. It wasn’t until I took down the behavior charts, and started to get to know my students better that the kids, those kids, started to care more. As one principal told me, “It is not for themselves they work, it is for you, we will get them to work for themselves later.” So I set out to create an environment where they wanted to be, create a classroom filled with learning that spoke to them. That didn’t mean throwing out the curriculum but it meant working with it in a different way to reignite a curiosity that had been forgotten. It didn’t always work, sometimes kids come to us with bigger demons than we can ever fight, but a seed had been planted in some of these kids that perhaps school wasn’t just out to get them.

I never knew that writing about public behavior charts would ignite a firestorm of comments on this blog. After all, I have tackled bigger topics before. But this one, this seemingly small part of our classrooms, has taken on a life of its own. Some agreed, some discussed, and some simply thought I was crazy to put it mildly. My skin has definitely grown thicker every day. What upset me the most were not the words spoken about me, but rather about the kids we teach and how if we don’t do something like this, they will turn out in a certain way. Here are a few highlights from comments…

” I’m sorry, but being an overprotective, hypersensitive teacher will get my students nowhere.”

“Maybe if we didn’t “baby” kids they would be stronger individuals.”

“…we are raising an entire generation of hypersensitive kids who are unable to behave appropriately, and take responsibility for their own actions. ”

“…is it almost came off sounding like if you use behavior charts you’re a bad, horrible teacher that could care less about the feelings of your students.”

“You want a society of sociopaths? Keep rewarding (or not addressing) bad behavior and failing to teach values.”

“So tired of these parents who want to caudle these disrespectful beings….oh I don’t want to hurt their feelings….please….I seriously would like to see you try to teach a group of children who are quite difficult….making noises, throwing chairs, flipping desks, kicking or hitting THE TEACHER! ”

In the end, what we do is about children, and I chose to get rid of a system that did not work for my students, nor me. It did not promote unity, self-control, or solutions. It was a quick fix that sure let a child know where they stood for the day, but also let the rest of the world know. As an adult, I am given the privilege of a private conversation whenever I screw up. I wanted to afford my students the same thing. That doesn’t mean I baby them, nor that they are coddled. My difficult children, the ones that fist fought, that threw tables, that told me that there was nothing I could do about it. They were the ones that needed me the most. They were the ones that needed some control the most.

You may not agree with me on public behavior charts, you may even want to attack me personally, calling me delusional or worse. But the kids? They are not all bad kids, who we need to toughen up. Some of these kids have had lives that I could never imagine dealing with. They are not all kids that get away with whatever they want. They are not all kids whose parents are not raising them right. They are kids who are trying. They are kids who want to make good choices. They are kids who probably have dreams. They are kids…Let’s not forget that.

Be the change, behavior, being me, classroom management, reflection, students

So What’s My Problem With Public Behavior Charts?

June 21, 2014July 29, 2014 Pernille Ripp

image borrowed from Kimberley Moran – see her great post on how to move past behavior charts linked at the bottom of the post

The day starts out fine, you had your breakfast, you had your tea, you feel prepared, happy even. You are off to school and ready to teach. At the morning staff meeting you get so excited over an idea you lean over to your colleague to whisper in their ear. After all, they really need to hear this. “Mrs. Ripp, please move your clip.” Shocked, you look around and feel every set of eyes on you. You stand up, walk to the front, move your clip from the top of the chart to yellow or whatever other step down there is. Quietly you sit down, gone is your motivation for the day, you know it can only get worse from here.

Ridiculous right? After all, how many times as adults are we asked to move our name, our clip, our stick, or even write our name on the board so others can see we are misbehaving? We don’t, and we wouldn’t if we were told to, after all, we demand respect, we demand common courtesy, we expect to be treated like, well, adults. So us, moving sticks, yeah right…

Search for “Classroom behavior charts” on Pinterest and prepare to be astounded. Sure, you will see the classic stop light charts, but now a new type of chart has emerged. The cute classroom behavior chart, filled with flowers, butterflies, and smiley faces. As if this innocent looking chart could never damage a child, as if something with polka-dots could ever be bad. And sure, must of them have more than three steps to move down, but the idea is still the same; a public behavior chart display will ensure students behave better. Why? Because they don’t want the humiliation that goes along with moving ones name. Nothing beats shaming a child into behaving.

The saddest thing for me is that I used to do it. I used to be the queen of moved sticks, checkmarks, and names on the board. I used to be the queen of public displays heralding accomplishments and shaming students. I stopped when I realized that all I did was create a classroom divided, a classroom that consisted of the students who were good and the students who were bad. I didn’t even have to tell my students out-loud who the “bad” kids were, they simply looked at our chart and then drew their own conclusions. And then as kids tend to do, they would tell their parents just who had misbehaved and been on red or yellow for the day. Word got around and parents would make comments whenever they visited our room of just how tough it must be to teach such and such. I couldn’t understand why they would say that until I realized it stared me in the face. My punishment/behavior system announced proudly to anyone who the bad kids were, so of course, parents knew it too. So I took it down and never looked back. No more public humiliation in my classroom ever again.

We may say that we do it for the good of the child. We may say that it helps us control our classrooms. We may say that public behavior charts have worked in our classrooms. I know I used to. And yet, have we thought of how the students feel about them? Have we thought about the stigma we create? Have we thought about the role we force students into and then are surprised when they continue to play it?

The fastest way to convince a child they are bad is to tell them in front of their peers. So if that is what we are trying to accomplish, then by all means, display the cute behavior charts. Frame them in smiley faces, hearts or whatever other pinterest idea you stumble upon. Start everyone in the middle so the divide becomes even more apparent when some children move up and others move down. Hang those banners of accomplishment, make sure not everyone is on there. Make sure everybody has been ranked and that everybody knows who is good and who is bad. Create a classroom where students actions are not questioned, nor discussed, but simply punished. And then tell them loudly and proudly to move their clip. After all, if the whole class doesn’t know someone is misbehaving then how will they ever change?

To see one teacher’s journey of how she moved past public behavior charts, please read this post by Kimberley Moran “Moving Past Behavior Charts”

PS: As Patrick’s comment wonders, what are the alternatives? I have blogged extensively about what to do instead, just click the links highlighted in the post or go to this page

PPS: More thoughts on this have been posted tonight

I am a passionate teacher in Wisconsin, USA, who has taught 4th, 5th, and 7th grade. Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day. First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now. Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

being a teacher, being me, reflection

The Best Things I Have Learned, I Have Learned from Others

June 20, 2014June 20, 2014 Pernille Ripp

I didn’t set out to learn from others, after all, as a new teacher, I was pretty sure I knew a lot. In fact, I thought because I was new, I knew more than many who had been out of school for years. I didn’t think I could learn that much from others because my own ideas were so wonderful, so original, so new. And then I learned my very first lesson: how I knew very little. And once I had realized that, I found out that some of my best lessons have come from others.

I learned that being a good listener will make people want to talk to you. While it can be fun to talk about the cool things one gets to do, or the incredible things one has learned, life is not about promoting your own words but instead about listening to others. Teach yourself to be a good listener, eye contact and all, you will reap the rewards in so many ways.

You can be part of the solution or part of the problem. While I sometimes find myself on both sides at the same time, I try to make myself work proactively to solve something. This is a conscious decision, because let’s be honest, it is much easier to gripe about something then it is to think of solutions.

It’s okay to wallow in self-pity, but only for a short time. Thanks to Angela Watson’s incredible book, “Awakened,” I realized that I didn’t give myself a time limit in my self-pitying. So I either was stuck in a rut for whole days or I tried to suppress it, thus never solving the actual problem. Now I embrace when I am down, then I get over it.

If you are in a bad mood, figure out why, and then get over it. I used to let a bad mood permeate everything I touched, rather than think about what key event had led to the bad mood. Now, I stop and recognize what has happened, try to solve it or realize it is what it is, take a deep breath and release it.

If you want a team, be a team player. While it is great to come in with all of your amazing ideas, as well as the notion that what you are doing is the best way to do it, this will not create a team. Learn when to share, learn when to compromise, and learn when to inspire.

This too shall pass. I remember when I had my first negative parent interaction and how it completely destroyed me. I kept thinking this was it, that I had now been deemed a terrible teacher and there was no way out. Then a few days later, I realized that my heart was not as heavy as it used to be, that I had gained a little bounce back in my step. The lesson still hurt, but it had turned from soul crushing to growth promoting. The same applies for when I am soaring high as a teacher, while this may sound pessimistic, I know that something will knock me down a little at some point. I am ok with that, because this is how life is.

Everybody has something to add. And by everybody, I mean everybody. Too often as teachers we only give expert status to those people we like, how about widening our scope and including other people in our building a voice as well. From the custodial staff to the students, they can all add something to the conversation.

If you are feeling insecure, chances are someone else is as well. I thought I was the only extroverted introvert in the world until I found others just like me. If you are not sure how to appraoch someone to start a conversation, they probably don’t know how to approach you either. So take the first initiative, connect with someone new, and invest your time in relationships.

If you want to be liked, be nice. I know this may sound silly, but this has been a big drive for me in everything I do. Smile, listen, give your time when you can, and be a nice human being. I would rather be known as a being nice than being an expert any day.

I am a passionate (female) 7th grade teacher in Wisconsin, USA, proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day. First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now. Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

Be the change, being a teacher, reflection

How The World Sees You Matters, So Tell Your Own Story

June 19, 2014June 20, 2014 Pernille Ripp

I started a classroom website 4 years ago with the intention of keeping parents informed. What I didn’t realize was that while I may have been doing just that, I was also telling the story of my classroom to the world. I was posting pictures of the students working, videos of things we did, information to those who cared. I didn’t realize others took note until I looked at the statistics one day and realized that it was not just parents who were tuning into our story. The world was seeing what was happening within our walls. And the world was paying attention.

Why does that matter? Because what I chose to display was, and is, a story of positivity. A story that showcases the incredible thinking my students do. A story that shows their investigations into failures, their curiosity driven learning, and their growth as leaders throughout the year. I chose what I put out into the world to represent our classroom and that is what people see when they search for us. Not the words of a district, or a parent (although they share our story too), or a journalist, but our own words, us telling our story.

How we share our classrooms, our schools, our districts matter. In fact, many people such as Tony Sinanis and Joe Sanfelippo talk about the brand of your school and asks, “Who is telling your story?” Are parents? Is the newspaper? Are kids? Are teachers? Are administrators? Because if you are not telling the story the way you want it to be told, then who will?

So I urge you to find a way to tell your story. To share your story the way you want the world to see it. As a district share the amazing events happening within on a Facebook page (yes, this is my new district!), Twitter, or whichever way that will work. As a principal, take pictures of your staff doing incredible things, tweet them out, highlight them, share them with staff, with parents, with anyone who will listen. As a teacher create a classroom website, a Facebook page, a blog, anything where you can share the stories of your students and then have your students share it with you. You shouldn’t let others tell your story, who knows if they will get it right?

Reading, reflection

5 Reading Truths And How To Work With Them

June 17, 2014June 17, 2014 Pernille Ripp

I haven’t been reading much. My current book “Clockwork Princess” by Cassandra Clare mocks me from my bedside table. It is not that I don’t want to read, I just don’t want to read that book right now. I don’t want to give it up either. And so every night, I find myself in a reading conundrum, not sure how I should proceed. You would think as a 34 year old this would not happen, yet I realized if it is happening to me, then imagine how often it happens to our students. How often do they get caught in a reading block? How often do they need a break? So I share with you my 5 reading truths and how to work with them…

Reading Truth 1: Even kids who love to read need a break.

This year I had some of my most voracious readers yet. One girl read a new book every night. Yet, as the year winded down I noticed that her bookmark stayed in the same book, day after day. I asked her and she told me that her brain was tired. That the book was amazing but that right now she just needed to read very little of it. I nodded and then handed her some picture books to read. Sometimes all we need is just a little change to get back at it.

Reading Truth 2: A hatred for reading will spread like a virus.

I expected to have kids who hated reading at the beginning of the year, in fact, it is something we discussed quite openly in our “Why Reading Sucks” lesson. As the year progressed, fewer kids felt this way or at the very least expressed it and I thought my work was done. Then something changed. Whether it was spring fever, running out of great books, or something outside of the classroom, one boy told me he hated reading. The next day someone else did as well and slowly I saw the same hatred from the beginning of the year creep in and take hold. What did I do? I challenged it at its core, reflecting with each child why their attitude had changed and handing them each a new and exciting book to restart their interest. More often than not, it was more that they had no great books to read and were thus forcing themselves through a book, rather than actually hating reading.

Reading Truth 3: If you don’t read, some won’t either.

I have written about this before and it is something I am adamant about, if you want readers, you must read yourself. Kids see through you in a minute if you are not reading something yourself. As one boy told me this year, “If reading is so good to do then why doesn’t this teacher read?” He had a point. When I don’t read, my students take notice because I don’t have books to recommend to them, I am not excitedly sharing something, I am not sharing my reading life. If we are teaching students to be lifelong readers, then we better be modeling it ourselves, even if it means reading a book in very small chunks. (This by the way applies to really any subject matter in my opinion).

Reading Truth 4: We have to find time to discuss reading if we want it to be important.

Actions speak louder than words, so if we ask students to read outside of the classroom, then we have to find time to discuss that reading within the classroom. Much like a child will quickly figure out if assigned homework is not checked and then not do it, reading requirements need to lead to something more than just saying you have read on a reading log.

Reading Truth 5: It is okay if reading is fun.

I get so caught up in reading gains and comprehension skills, reflections, and discussions. While my students grew immensely in their reading discussion skills, I had to make it a priority that reading needed to be fun. We have so much to do in class. We are constantly pushing ourselves, our thinking, and working with a text. But once in a while, it is okay to sit back and just listen. Once in a while we don’t need to deep discuss, close read, or even reflect while we listen. We need to get sucked in, laugh out loud, and wonder what will happen next.

Reading is our little bit of magic. What our brains do when we read well is quite incredible. Don’t let these things get in the way of the magic. Don’t let our focus on becoming great readers stop us from that exact purpose. Reading should be passion-filled, first and foremost. So think about it, are you creating a passion-filled reading classroom?