We Can’t Control Everything – And That’s Ok

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Seeing our baby for the first time

Augustine was supposed to be born February 23rd, 2014.  Instead on December 19th at 5:25 PM  she arrived so quickly in a dire situation that the nurse had to catch her because the doctor was not even in the room.  As we look at our 30 week old baby, there are so many thoughts crowding my mind, but the biggest one is, we cannot always control everything.

I thought I had this 3rd pregnancy all figured out.  I thought I had my plan figured out, when I would go on leave, when we would set up her things, when we would move the twins out of the cribs.  What I would pack, how I would say goodbye to my students, how the delivery would go.  I was wrong on every single account.  And yet, it all worked out ok, she is here, she is safe, and yes our journey forward is going to be very different than the one imagined, but this was what needed to happen to ensure her survival.  I may have thought I had it all figured out, but she proved me wrong.

How often do we make such meticulous plans that it is more the actual unraveling of our plan that is our undoing and not the actual new course of events that undoes us?  I am not unnerved by the situation, but by the newness of everything happening.  This was not in my plan.  This was not how it was supposed to be, but it is.  And that’s ok.

How often does this happen in our rooms when we stand with our meticulous lesson plans, our action charts, and our intended learner outcomes?  How often do we think we have a kid figured out just right so that we keep them on the right path and their actions prove us wrong?  How often do we listen to the child in front of us telling us how to do something rather than just go with the plan we decided?  How often does that child know themselves better than we ever could?

We try to plan every moment, even when we know it is out of our control.  We try to set things up optimally, even when we can’t.  Augustine may have been our Christmas surprise but she has already brought so much to our lives.  I am humbled by what I have to learn from her as she grows.

 

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20 thoughts on “We Can’t Control Everything – And That’s Ok

  1. faige says:

    You continue to inspire me with your heartfelt posts and insight. May this be a wonderful Christmas for your whole family.

  2. Janet says:

    From near and far, people hold you dear. Thank you for sharing your teaching and life with such eloquence and sincerity. May God keep you and your growing family, especially precious Augustine safe.

  3. Pernille,
    Congrats! So exciting! Great connection to our world of education too. Hope you and baby girl are doing well!

  4. Thank you for your inspiration kind friend. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Augustine is so blessed already.

  5. Kim says:

    She is so beautiful. Congratulations to you and your family.

  6. Sueliew says:

    Thanks for sharing! Have a blessed Christmas to you & family.

  7. louise says:

    Thank you for your timely, inspirational reminder concerning control…..one of my many issues. I wish you and your family a truly blessed holiday season….so much to be thankful for…such a small bundle of great joy.

  8. Patrica Hewitt says:

    Congratulations to you, your family and especially to Miss Augustine! I wish you all a truly wonderful Chtistmas! I can only imagine how amazing this one will be!

  9. Scott says:

    Congrats! Thanks for the reminder that sometimes “beyond our control” is just the right thing.

  10. Greg Sheremeta says:

    Congratulations! I am glad everything is going well. What a marvelous present! Wishing you a happy and healthy New Year!

  11. psumurphette says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  12. Lisa M says:

    Congratulations! :)

  13. Looks like little Augustine (or God) was in control this time… Keep up that great attitude and enjoy Christmas with a family of six!

  14. Tara Ciotoli says:

    Congratulations, Pernille. Augustine is one lucky girl! Merry Christmas to you and yours.

  15. […] learned this week, once again, that we cannot control everything.  That even when we think we know what the plan will be, whenever it involves children, they […]

  16. carriegelson says:

    Pernille – what a beautiful name for this lovely little one. Wishing your family much happiness and good health this holiday season. Hope all is going smoothly for this little one. You are a brave Mama.

  17. Congratulations Pernille! I’m glad to hear that even though your baby is early, she is healthy.

  18. Lisa S. says:

    Congratulations on the birth of your precious little girl! 10 years ago I spent Christmas in the NICU with twins that were 14-weeks early, so your post resonates with me deeply. I also think the lessons I’ve learned have helped me become a better teacher. You are an inspiration and I wish you and your family the best!

  19. […] know me personally.  I blog very personal stories, such as the premature birth of our daughter or the passing of my grandfather.  I put it all out there because it affects the way  I teach, […]

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