Recently, and no I am not making this up, we were asked kindly to confiscate all permanent markers from the students. It wasn’t that there had been a huge problem with students using these to write on things, but there had been a couple of incidents and it was therefore deemed necessary to ban permanent markers in the 5th grade totally. After all, it is much easier for us to ban things rather than teach appropriate usage. To say I was perplexed at the approach is an understatement.
So this got me thinking, if we remove the permanent markers, what else should we remove from the students?
- Paper – not only can this create dangerous paper cuts but it can also be used to communicate secret messages or ideas. Highly subversive stuff if left in the wrong hands, and let’s face it, all students hands are wrong.
- Pencils – this master weapon can be used to write these aforementioned dangerous messages, and also if you sharpen it really really well it is a dangerous weapon in itself. (For more bad usage of pencils duo check out #pencilchat on Twitter – there is some scary stuff there)
- Rulers – ever see a kid spin a ruler on their pencil – ’nuff said.
- Compass – sharp points and the ability to poke things, no more of these.
- Scissors – who allowed this stabbing and scratching tools into the classroom in the first place? Gigantic bad idea.
- Erasers – these things can be thrown at other people and also used to erase things we want to see such as notes being passed and wrong answers.
- Textbooks – these mammoths of knowledge create backaches for kids, they can be torn apart by devious students and dropped on someone’s foot.
The more I think about this more I see the problem here. These kids are not equipped to handle any of these tools maturely and I am sure there are more out there that need to be banned. Think of how wonderful this will be; then all the students will have to do in a classroom is listen tot he teacher filling them with knowledge. Win!
Pernille Ripp 
We were recently asked to confiscate and control all bottles of white-out. Also, don't forget rubber bands and highlighters!
Desks and chairs could be thrown in a fit of anger….
Their thoughts? Oh wait..
Hilarious!!!
I am banning water (can't have it near the computers) as well as breathing (too many germs being circulated).
This is too funny to me!In that case everything is dangerous because I'm sure you can find something on most things that makes it dangerous.
Oh, those scary permanent markers! Gosh, who let them in classes in the first place?!
This knee-jerk reaction penalises everyone for the actions of a few. Such a response is all too prevalent in educational settings. This issue was raised in recent post by George Couros (http://georgecouros.ca/blog/archives/2640)
Permanent markers result in permanent damage often to expensive items such desks, tables, carpets & painted surfaces.They are also toxic and often used by student to get high.
On second thought, I am sure that the high schooler who wrote demeaning things on the restoom wall and/or drew an obsene cartoon his/her desk…probably didn't know any better. Surely, the tax payers don't mind footing the bill. And, of course there are custodians get paid to clean it up, right?Who needs a healthy brain in HIGH school?So, please don't me for enabling…