The nightmares have already started.
You know the ones; you wake up with your heart pounding, sweaty palms, and this sinking feeling in your stomach. The students hated you again. They were out of control. The parents complained. You forgot what you were doing. You weren’t prepared. Ah yes, the back to school nightmares have already started for me. Yet school is not out for another 7 weeks, so why is my heart racing every morning when I wake up?
Last week, I took a giant leap of faith and accepted a 7th grade English position in an incredible district, Oregon, with the possibility of working with a new amazing team. And now, my dreams haunt me. I always thought I would be in 5th grade forever, maybe inch my way into 6th, but 7th? Those are for the truly brave teachers. That grade level is for those teachers that can handle anything. Not for me, I am not that good. Yet, when this opportunity arose, I knew I had to try. I knew I had to jump. I knew I had to believe that I could do it. So now my nightmares are making me pay for it as I feel like the new kid on the very first day of school.
What if they hate me?
What if they think I’m not funny or that my ideas are stupid?
What if I can’t help them become better writers?
What if they don’t want to read?
What if they hate picture books?
What if they eat me alive?
I hope by September 2nd, when those first kids enter the room, that my nightmares have stopped. I can only hope, and prepare, and dream. And find really great picture books. Keep your fingers crossed.