Be the change – Page 47

When I moved my blog from Blogger to WordPress last summer I mistakenly assumed that all posts would seamlessly transfer. I have since found the error in my thinking and have decided to re-post some of my more discussed posts. This post first appeared in June of 2011 but still rings true to me.

Put your name on the board! Those words spoken in a very stern voice accompanied by a teacher look was enough to whip the toughest student into shape. Except when it didn’t which for me was enough times to make me wonder. Could my discipline systems really be thrown out and replaced with nothing? Would chaos then reign supreme?

If you had come by my room last year you would have seen them. Those sticks in the cups or the names on the boards with checks, sometimes double checks and plenty of stern looks to go around. I was doing exactly what I had been taught in school, exerting my control as the main authority figure and if students misbehaved, well, then there was some form of punishment. Oh don’t worry; there were plenty of rewards as well. If students didn’t move their stick or get their name on the board for a week then their name got entered into drawing for pizza with me. At the end of the month if they didn’t have their name in my book for not doing their homework, they could also enter their name, and then I would finally draw names and five lucky students would have pizza with me. Confused? I was! I could hardly keep check Of all those names, checks, and punishments.

However, last year I realized something after reading Alfie Kohn; I knew I had to change. By perpetually focusing negative energy on the same students, who, lets face it, are most often the ones having their name singled out somehow already, I was indeed just adding more to their self doubt. While I believe in discipline for all students, I also believe in compassion and that philosophy simply was not fitting in with my chosen system. So I did as many teachers may do; I threw it all out. However, instead of hunting for a new system, I decided to detox myself, start this year with no system for reward and punishment and instead strive to create a classroom community where students just know what the expectation is.

I was petrified that first month. I run a tough classroom in my expectations for my students and I know that if you do not set the tone those first weeks, it can be detrimental to the rest of the year. And yet I held strong in my conviction that even the more unruly students would eventually figure this out through repeated conversations and respect. And boy, did we talk. We talked about expectations, rules, how to speak to one another, and what to do when something goes wrong. A lot of the time, I just listened to these amazing students come up with solutions to problems, listened to them explain how they envisioned our classroom, how they wanted fourth grade to be. And I was in awe; these kids knew how to behave without me telling them over and over. And they certainly would figure it out without me alternating punishment and rewards.

So after the first month I started to breathe again. I let our new system flex itself and watched the students help keep the classroom stabile. Sure, there are times when I think ooh if I just had a way to “punish” it would fix this and this and then I realize that perhaps I just need to find some time to speak to that particular student. Now instead of an exasperated tone and a system to keep them in check, we discuss, we try to fix, and we reevaluate. I don’t run the classroom with a complicated system of checks and balances, rewards and punishments, but rather with an atmosphere of community, of belonging. Is it perfect? No, but neither am I, nor my students. I am just glad I believed in my own skills enough to realize that perhaps, just perhaps, my students would know how to behave without me rewarding them for it. Once again, they blew away all of my expectations.

Be the change, being me, new year, reflection

The Promises I Make for the New Year

January 6, 2014 Pernille Ripp

2014 has already become a year we will never forget. Between Augustine’s battles, the arctic winter we are surrounded by, and the incredible love that surrounds us, this year will be the year that follows us.

Whenever life gets crowded I think of my classroom and how closely connected my life is to it. I stopped doing resolutions years ago, after all, I had to write them down to even remember them and then never followed through on them. This year, though, begs for resolutions or rather promises I would like to make. So this year I promise 3 simple things.

To be kind. The mask I wear most days does not show how much turmoil there is in my heart at the moment. I am a fighter, as is my whole family, but I admit that it does not take much to crack my surface right now and tears come easily. We never know what other people are holding inside, we never know why a child acts out or acts indifferent. We never know why a parent does not respond to our contacts, or another teacher gets upset. So this year I promise to approach everyone and every situation with kindness. I will think of the human being first and the task at hand second.
To be present. Taken from John T. Spencer’s post, this promise continues to be at the forefront of my mind. I want to be present for the ups and downs that life throws at us. I want to be present at the small moments that truly shape our lives that my own children and my students have. I want to notice. I want to think about what I see. I want to slow down and take it in. To be present does not require much, in fact, it is done best by turning everything else off and giving someone the gift of you. So that is what I will do.
To celebrate the small things. Too often we wait until momentous occasions to celebrate in style. Life is too short, life is too complicated to hold your breath and wait for those few moments where everything lines up. This year I will celebrate as much as I can. Thea learning a new letter, Ida and Oskar learning new words, Augustine gaining even the smallest amount of weight. My students conquering a task for the day, fellow colleagues trying small new things, and yes, my husband and all of the small things he does to keep our marriage strong every day. Those are the things I will celebrate.

While I cannot control some of the things that I wish I could, I can control myself and my reaction to life. I can make promises and keep them, so that is what I intend on doing, how about you?

Be the change, connections, reflection

It Is Not Enough to Be a Connected Educator Anymore

January 2, 2014 Pernille Ripp

Today I approved more than 70 comments on my students’ blogs. Strangers from Canada, England, The Netherlands, New Zealand, and many states took the time to celebrate the writing my students do, to encourage them to write more, and to praise their voice. They shared stories of their own fire mishaps, their own resolutions, their own love of books. All because my students asked them to. All because I asked them to on Twitter. Today was not an anomaly. Today was simply another day in the life of my connected students.

I didn’t get connected myself at first so that I could connect my students. In fact, it didn’t even cross my mind. Why in the world would 4th graders need to have anything to do with the world? Why would I ever want them to open up to strangers or to let strangers have any kind of contact with them? Being connected was not something I saw as a necessity. Being connected was something they could figure out when they were much, much older.

But then we got connected. Once I started blogging, I realized that they should blog too. Once I started learning from strangers, I realized the power of reaching out to others that knew more than me and how the whole world could be my students’ teacher, not just me. I knew I was not enough anymore, and I was at peace with that.

Yet, I think we forget the power of connecting our students, even when we are connected ourselves. We talk about connected educators and all that it brings into our lives, but I think it is time we shift the conversation to that of connected students. Sure, I am connected, but that does not matter if my students are not.

So rather than just push teachers to get connected, let’s focus on getting their students connected too. Let’s focus on showing what bringing the world in means and how it can change the way students think about the world. Let’s focus on making global collaboration easy, even if on a small scale. It is not enough to be a connected educator anymore, we have to be connected educators that connect our students. We have to let our students reach out tot he world and see how the world answers. We have to trust them to do the right thing and teach them how to do it best. Just like we do for ourselves, we must push a global education, we are no longer enough in ourselves.

Be the change, new year, reflection

Well Hello New York Times

January 2, 2014 Pernille Ripp

It is not every day you have the honor of being quoted on the New York Times Parenting Blog, but today I did. The writer, Jess Lahey, had contacted me a few days ago to ask permission to link to a post but I had no idea how much they would use. What a great start to 2014.

Here is a link to the whole post.

Be the change, being me, new year, reflection

Facebook – The Great Disconnector?

December 30, 2013 Pernille Ripp

I remember thinking Facebook was lame as I resisted joining in the spring of 2006. Then I joined, urgen on by a college friend, and I continued to think it was lame until I realized that here was something that I could finally use to keep in touch with friends and family that lived far away. This tool would get me more connected rather than having to wait for letters or emails to show up on a whim. This tool would make sure my friendships stayed strong, my connections meaningful, and my life full of love. Yet 7 years into my relationship with Facebook I know see how wrong I was.

This post is not to vilify Facebook or social media. After all, Twitter, Facebook and other tools have brought so much to my life: new friends, a book deal, babysitters, pictures of moments I wouldn’t get to see. And yet, Facebook does not make me feel more connected. Not in a deep way. Instead I stand like a lurker peeking in at people’s lives. Seeing moments that sure I might not see otherwise but that I have little context of, little story behind, so all they are are moments.

I miss the deep connections. The letters I used to receive from my friends. The phone calls to set times up or just catch up. The ability to tell a story that they have not seen pictures of or heard of before. When we say we have the world at our fingertips, it is true, but it seems to be a shallow one, one that consists mostly of hitting “like” and feeling like you took an interest. You really extend yourself if you leave a comment and you feel like you did yours to keep friendships going. Sure Facebook has brought much to my life, but it has also taken away.

So rather than complain and blame Facebook, because it is not the tools fault I misuse it, in 2014 I want to reach out more. I want to write more letters, call more people, and see more moments in real life rather than through shared snapshots. I want to invite more people into our crazy lives and post less about it. I want to further the connections that I have in my life and deepen them into what they used to be. Less like, more action.

Facebook was meant to connect us all, and it has done so for many. But in the urgency to connect we seem to have lost the slow pace that is required to nurture friendships and create bonds between us all. Facebook may have made the world smaller, but it has also shrunk our own lives into a circle that people stand outside of, casually interacting but never staying for long. I am ready to break down the walls and bring people in.

Be the change, new year, parents, reflection

Parents: Help Your Child Get Excited for Back to School

December 29, 2013December 29, 2013 Pernille Ripp

I have been thinking a lot about back to school. This break for me will have lasted over 3 weeks by the time I get back and so I wonder what I am stepping back into. As anyone who has ever had a longish break knows, often the kids are hard to get motivated again. I blogged about what I would do as a teacher, but now is the time to go into parent mode and think of what I can do as a parent to get Thea excited about school. After all, January doesn’t seem to instill much excitement in many people, students included, so I am here to help change that. A few ideas to get your child excited about back to school, please add your own in the comments.

Get your child a new book. There is something magical about a brand new never-been-read book being placed into your hands. I have expected my students to read over break and I hope they come back with great new book tales to share and discuss, so why not load them up with books either from a store or the library. Help them take control of their reading and get them stocked up at the same time.
Ask the teacher about events coming up. I know January can be a bit of a humdrum month so I make sure we have a lot of exciting things coming our way. We have an author Skype visit, Mystery Skype, and a reading challenge to look forward to amongst many other things. Why not reach out to the teacher to see what cool things will garner some fun in the coming month.
Set goals with your child. My students set a lot of goals with me because they need to be the masters of their own learning journeys, so why not set some together? Students get to slowly get back in academic mode and you get a window into their world. Plus it is such a great experience hearing your child talk about their own learning.
Look ahead. I am very transparent in what we will be learning so it would be great if you as a parent shared some of your own knowledge (if you know some stuff) or just what you would hope to learn about a concept. Again, starting a meaningful and excited dialogue about the great learning that will happen is always a great way to ease back into school.
Ask about changes. I know a lot of this is conversation based, but I find that often it is through conversation that we can get kids excited rather than bribery. Ask your child what they hope to change in the next few months, whether it be with themselves or in the classroom and then come up with a plan to make it happen. I practice student ownership at every opportunity and so this is something I will be asking students to do anyway.
Look forward. I tell the kids we have a lot to do before they leave me and in January that seems to set in. They know that as the days get lighter they are one step closer to middle school and I want our time together to count. As a parent it is okay to acknowledge and celebrate the fact that a new grade is coming up. Kids know it is too early to dismiss the current one but that there is a goal to work toward. I celebrate the fact that all of my students are headed toward middle school and they know it.
Embrace the slowness. January seems to slow us all down as we wind down after the craziness of December and winter in general. Instead of fighting it, I tend to embrace it at home with my own kids. We read more, we light more candles, and we do more family things in a small way. I don’t expect my kids to go a mile a minute because that’s what they did in December. Instead we cherish the quiet times in the house and we encourage more creative play. Out with the noise and in with drawing, art projects, and many, many books read aloud or shared.
Highlight the social aspect. I know school shouldn’t be about seeing your friends, but let’s face it, it is one of the benefits of going to school. So instead of battling it or ignoring it, why not relish in the fact that your child will get so see all of their friends again every day? As a teacher I know this is a major selling point of school, so I also work it into our day. We come back with a little more time to talk, a little more time to catch up, and a lot more opportunity to do group projects if need be. Make the social aspect work for your child rather than create more tension.
Get new school supplies. I know this is a staple of the true back to school time – August – but most people get excited over new supplies. New pencils seem to beckon to be written with, journals to be filled out, and erasers used. Perfect time to get a few new things since most of my students have used up all of their pencils and erasers by now anyway.