Be the change, being a teacher, being me, new year, reflection, Uncategorized

Stop Labeling Different – It’s Time to Stop Teacher Bullying

image from icanread

I took a deep breath before I hit “publish” on my post “When Teachers Bully Teachers.”  I had decided that it was time to stand publicly behind the story, to claim my words, to face my fears, and yet with my fingers hovering over the button,  I couldn’t help but be afraid.  Afraid that nasty comments would follow, afraid that people would shun me, afraid that it would start all over again.

Within minutes the comments started coming.  At first, I opened each one with trepidation; would this be the comment that told me I was full of it?  That I had done it to myself?  That surely I deserved the treatment I had gotten?  Instead, it was story upon story of teachers sharing their experience, of teachers saying it had happened to them.  Then my inbox started filling up with private reach outs, then Facebook.  As I closed my computer that morning, I looked at Brandon and said, “There are so many of us and I thought it was just me.”

Teachers bullying teachers is real.  Principals bullying teachers is real.  Within our communities, where we try to teach children how to act as adults, there are many adults not living the words they teach.  Some are doing it on purpose like in my situation, others may not know the damage they are doing.  But it needs to end.  For me, hitting publish was the first step, but now I see that there is so much more must be done.

If you are being bullied:

  • Know you are not alone, unfortunately.  Look at my post and all of the comments it got. This is important, you are not alone, you are not the worst teacher in the world, you are not a horrible person, you do not deserve this.
  • Stop labeling yourself.  I was so good at coming up with excuses for why this was happening to me that I only made it worse.  I kept thinking how I was doing this to myself and it was all my own fault.  No one deserves to be treated poorly, not even someone who does things a little bit different or has a strong opinion.
  • Share your story and speak up.  Even if you are not ready to confront your bully, share your story with someone; an administrator, a colleague, the whole world like I did.  Reclaim your story to stop the process.
  • Then stand up for yourself or find a way out.  There are two ways to fix the situation because suffering through it is not one.  One is to confront your bully and try to put an end to the situation, however, when I tried to do this it didn’t do much.  SO then know it is okay to leave, to find another job, a better situation.  You are not a coward, nor are your running away.  You are saving your soul and that is important.
  • Make peace with yourself.  I still worry about what I did but it is time to let it go.  With each moment this summer I am allowing myself to put the past in the past.  We have to forgive ourselves and allow ourselves to heal.

To stop bullying at your school:

  • Be welcoming.  So much can be said for reaching out to new staff.  A friendly hello and introduction can go a long way, but don’t just do it in the beginning of the year, keep checking in.  Keep reaching out and making sure every person in the building feels they have someone to speak to.
  • Reach out to everyone.  Sure, my bullying started my first year, but there are others that have said it started later.  So make it your mission to make new connections every year, even with current staff, you never know who might be feeling lonely.
  • Be a nice person.  I know many of us assume we always are, but this is something we should all focus on.  Be nice, be kind, be open, be inviting.  Don’t put others down just because you disagree with them.
  • Don’t believe the talk.  I know many teachers at my old school were swayed by powerful words about me.  Instead, dismiss the talk completely or seek out the person who is being talked about to hear their story.  One teacher did that with me and it made a huge difference in how I saw her and our relationship.
  • Stop labeling different.  Too often the people we ostracize are those doing things differently.  Don’t be afraid of change, or at the very least, ask questions!  If someone has made a change in how they teach there is probably a reason for it, so ask them why, dig around a little bit, be open to new ideas.
  • Recognize your own behavior.  Too often we don’t see what we do as malicious or even bullying, but we need to be honest here.  How often have we slandered?  How often have we snickered?  How often have we excluded?  Take stock of yourself and see how you need to change.
  • Follow your own classroom rules.  We had one rule in our room, “Represent.” Whatever your rules are, make sure that you are following them too.  If the kids can do it, so can we.

We must say, “No more!” and share our stories.  Don’t be afraid like I was, don’t suffer in silence.  As a close colleague of mine told me when she read it, “I guess I knew you struggled, but I just never knew how severe it was.”  And that was my mistake.  I should have gone to administration with the union, or I should have gone higher up.  I should have stood up, but in the moment it was too hard, too scary, and so I kept my head down and suffered through it.  I will never make that mistake again.  Please help me stop the bullying.

I am a passionate  teacher in Wisconsin, USA,  who has taught 4, 5th, and 7th grade.  Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day.  First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press.   Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now.  Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

being me, reflection

When Teachers Bully Teachers

image from icanread

Three years ago, I wrote an anonymous post and asked a friend to post it for me.  The story was burning up inside of me, but at the time I was too scared to publish it because I was in the middle of the situation, and terrified that it would only get worse.  Yet I knew that there had to be others out there like me, who were going through the same situation, who felt so all alone just like I did.  

Today I choose to reclaim my past as I leave my old district and school and venture forward, it is time to take back the power that this situation had over me.  It is time to move on and away from the past.  It is time to tell the story of what can happen when teachers bully teachers.

The year I got hired at my school my mentor moved away.  I was eager, ready to learn, and most of all ready to form a team.  Unfortunately I was the third wheel to a two-some that had been together for some years and had gone through some pretty heavy-duty stuff.  They switched classes, they knew each other like the back of their hand, and I was the puppy always trailing behind, hoping they would throw me a bone.  It wasn’t that they excluded me, I just don’t think I knew how to fit.   After a while, I decided to go on my own, after all, my students were waiting for me to teach them and not having a team was not going to be a good enough excuse to fail my kids.  So I forged on, challenging myself and hoping that one day my team would find space for me.  That year I was by myself through difficult parent situations and difficult student situations.  I ate lunch in my classroom because no one sat with me in the staff lounge.  It wasn’t that they didn’t like me, they just didn’t have time for me.  Instead other teachers were busy pointing out how I was a favorite since the principal spent so much time in my room.  They didn’t realize that the reason he was in there was because I invited him just so I had someone to help me that first year.  I didn’t realize how I was viewed until later in the year I was pulled into my principal’s office to be reprimanded for having said “Have a nice weekend” in the hallways.  I was told that someone had complained about me since I should be thankful I had a job and not look forward to the weekend so much.  In fact, it was later included in my formal observation that I should know my place more.  Stunned, I asked who it was, but was refused an answer.  I left that conversation wondering who would want to get me into trouble over something so trivial well knowing that it could have been many people.  I felt so alone.

I heard the rumors about why I was hired (because of my looks), I heard how I was the favorite and was therefore given easy classes, extra things for my room, and basically had a free pass.  I cried about it, got angry, tried to discourage the principal from coming into my room.  It didn’t help.  He stopped coming but the rumors continued.  The whispers as I walked by in the hallway, the icy stares, the unreturned hello’s.  The social isolation would have made any mean girl proud. So I got really quiet and tried to keep to myself, finding a couple of people I could trust, continuously trying to reach out to my team, hoping that someone would take pity on me.   Few did, after all, I had done it to myself.

Once more I ended up in the principal’s office; this time a teacher had turned me in for disagreeing with a veteran teacher in a small meeting.  I was written up for being disrespectful and not knowing my place.  Again I asked who had come to the principal and was given no answer.  It was not in my best interest to know and I should be happy that there were not more severe consequences.  It was even put in my formal observation for the year, my permanent record, and I had to submit an apology to the teacher, who by the way, was not the one who had complained about me.  Instead I was told to keep my mouth shut, know my place, and try to get people to like me. The ignorance of my principal that he, in fact, had anything to do with the fact that people despised me was more than I could take.  I started to contemplate moving but decided that I wanted to stay to try to make a difference, to change the attitude, rather than to let them run me out.

This year I knew was going to be a challenge.  One powerful teacher, in particular, had become the ring leader of my hate group.  She complained about me to anyone that would listen, including my fledgling team, parents, and, of course, the principal.  For some reason she had power and people listened. I knew that some of my more unorthodox ideas such as limiting grades and homework were really going to upset people, particularly some veteran teachers who already disliked me, she being one of them.   And yet, I knew I had to keep growing as a teacher whether people hated me or not because after all how bad could it get?  I would always have my principal or so I thought, instead I didn’t.  He left me alone because he was told by senior teachers that they knew I was his favorite and how hurtful it was to them.  So instead I became isolated, fending for myself.  Thank goodness for a couple of good friends, my husband,  and Twitter or I would have lost it.

Throughout this process I have been forced to look in the mirror again and again.  Am I those things that people claim?  Am I a person not to be trusted because the principal is my confidante, because I am his favorite?  Will my students fail because of me?  Will they not be prepared for the rest of their school years because of what I did to them?  I have had to reflect and tear myself apart as I wonder; did I do this to myself?  Sure, there have been days I have not been proud of, days where I should have kept my opinion to myself, or tread more lightly.  Yet there has also been so many days where I did not deserve the treatment I was given, where even after extra effort, people just did not care, did not believe, did not want their minds changed.  I also question myself; is this all in my head?  Have I created the awkwardness, the silence, the people passing by my door rather than coming in?  Then I realize that it did happen, that the rumors were spread, those hushed conversations, those scoldings really did happen.  Perhaps I could have done more but I guess I will never know if it would have changed anything.  I know I have not been a perfect team member, I know I have made mistakes, but I have also tried to do my best.  I have been open, eager, welcoming, and ready to share.  And yet somehow all of this was not enough,

So what has this year been like?  Like the worst high school experience, the only thing missing has been being locked in a locker or having my car keyed.  All year I have fought comments about how awful I am as a teacher and how dare I challenge what veteran teachers are doing.  I have been told that other teachers worry about my students since I am not teaching right or even preparing them well.  I have been told that I need to know my place over and over and that no one likes me.  I have been told that no one wants to be on my team and that I am giving the school a bad name.  I have been called selfish, delusional, and ineffective.  I have been called a bad teacher.  So this year I have cried, vented to close friends and just tried to rise above it.  I know what is best for my kids.  I know that I am good teacher.  And yet, I am worn down.

It is funny; I have lied so many times about how supportive my school is of me, that I sometimes start to believe it.  My principal was supportive, in secret, my special ed teacher, ELL teacher, and a few friends were, but that is really it.  Some teachers have not cared, which was a welcome relief or just outright told me how they feel.  The powerful teacher told me that she is genuinely worried for my students since she does not feel they will be successful next year and that I shouldn’t be allowed to teach.  At least this time she said it to my face rather than behind my back.

So a couple of weeks ago, I did the unthinkable, I applied for a transfer to another school.  After a secret meeting was called to discuss how the principal cannot be trusted and the powerful teacher cried about how she was the victim at our school, I thought; enough.  I don’t want to be the scapegoat anymore.  I don’t want to be in a place where success is not celebrated.  Where challenges are not desired. This is not me.  I love teaching and I want to teach for many years to come, but I cannot go to work in a place where I am not welcomed.  Where I am blamed for things I have nothing to do with, where people feel they have a free pass to tell me how they really feel about me and my teaching style without even knowing anything.  So I am leaving, and my heart is lighter, and yet I feel like a coward.

I feel like I should stay and fight for change like I have been the last 3 years.  Like I shouldn’t rock the boat.  But I can’t stay, it will devour me if I do.  When I pressed send on that email letting my employee coordinator know that I wanted to transfer, I felt the biggest weight lift.  And then I felt tears.  These years of being hated, of not knowing who to trust or who to confide in has taken their toll.  It will be a long time before I try to have a close relationship with my principal, in fear of being labeled, I will have a hard time trusting team mates.  Too many times the accusations came from the team I was supposed to have and the protection did not come from my leader.

Postscript – I didn’t leave.  I never got any of the transfers but instead received a phone call late one night.  It was the ring leader calling to apologize.  I still remember her words telling me that she knew she had done me wrong, that she had been a bully, that she had prayed about it, and she was sorry.  In fact, she was so sorry that she had decided to leave the school (not just because of me).  She asked me if I could forgive her and although I should have said yes, I told her I didn’t know.  The damage she had done to me was so raw that I couldn’t think of forgiveness at this moment, I still don’t know if I could.  So I stayed and I became a 5th grade teacher and found a team, one that might have thought I was a bit crazy, but still supported me.  One that taught me that we can all get along, that there is room for all sorts of teaching, and that there are ways to discuss our differences.  I stayed three more years until my heart called for a new challenge and a new district.  Which is where I stand today, poised at the edge of a new adventure, hoping that this never happens to another teacher.

I am a passionate  teacher in Wisconsin, USA,  who has taught 4, 5th, and 7th grade.  Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day.  First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press.   Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now.  Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

Be the change, being me, books, Student-centered

Oh Yes, I Wrote Another Book…

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People often ask me where I find the time to do what I do, and honestly, it is not that I have a magic wand.  I multi-task a lot, sometimes I am over-connected and need to find a better balance, sometimes it is late at night when I can’t sleep, and at one time it was sitting next to a little, tiny baby growing in the NICU.

My second book, published by Corwin, is coming out in September, and it was written in that little room, in the NICU at Meriter Hospital in Madison, Wisconsin.  I filled it with the hopes for Augustine and the type of school I wish for her when she gets to be 5.  I filled it with the dreams I have for the schools I work at, for the teachers I learn with, for the students I teach.  And so my second book is filled with empowerment.  A plea to transform our schools from top-down decision machines, to environments where there are many leaders, many ideas, and staff, as well as students, that feel that they are in control of their educational journey.

Much like my first book, “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students,” this book is meant to be an idea book, a book that gives you things you can do right now to change your environment.  A book that will give you hope, hopefully strengthen your vision of what a learning environment can look like, and re-ignite your feeling of power in education.

So this book, “Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners,” will hopefully end up on your to-read list.  It will hopefully change the way we do school, no longer relying on our old methods, but instead embracing all of the stakeholders, including the students, when we discuss what school should be like.  I hope together we make that change, not just for ourselves, but for all the kids we work with.  Just like Augustine at 6 months is realizing her own potential, we need to make sure that our schools support all students and all staff to leave their mark and change the world.

CCES-Ripp

 

To pre-order your copy, please go here.

I am a passionate  teacher in Wisconsin, USA,  who has taught 4, 5th, and 7th grade.  Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day.  First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press.   Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now.  Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

Be the change, being me, new year, Uncategorized

What’s Your Change this Summer?

image from icanread

One of my most favorite things about summer is that time to finally change something.  While I change a lot throughout the year, summer is like my new year.  The time where I have the energy to really think through practices, to get re-energized, to change something, big or small.  Because that’s the thing with change, it doesn’t have to be monumental to matter.  It can be just taking one step in a new direction, implementing one new idea, thinking one new thought.  And while I tend to binge change, I thought it only appropriate to share some ideas that may help you change.

How about reaching out for global collaboration?

There are so many ways to get connected and to have your students get connected these days, even with the strictest of district policies and the smallest amount of tech, there are so many ways.  The Global Read Aloud, a project I created in 2010, sets out to make it easy for you.  You read aloud the same book as teachers around the world at the same time and then make a connection with others reading it.  More than 150,000 students are signed up for this year so far.  Others ideas for connection is through blogging, Twitter, Skype, Projects by Jen, The Traveling Rhino, or making your own project.

How about reading a great book?

There is nothing quite like sitting down with a really well-written education book to inspire your own journey.  “The Book Whisperer” by Donalyn Miller did that for me a few years back, as well as “Awakened” by Angela Watson (a book study is about to begin on this great book!).    This year I am excited to finally take the time to read her second book “Reading in the Wild” and cannot wait to get inspired again.  Also, on my to read list is “This is Not a Test” by Jose Vilson, “Falling in Love with Close Reading” by Chris Lehman and Kate Roberts, and “Encouragement in the Classroom: How Do I Help Students Stay Positive and Focused” by Joan Young.  Finally, you can even read my book if you would like, it has been getting great reviews, “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students.”

How about a challenge?

It is not too late to get involved with some of the many challenges floating around the internet this summer.  One of my favorites, and not just because the educator who is behind it all, Todd Nesloney, is a pretty awesome guy, but because it is so broad, is the Summer Learning Series.  While the challenge is on it’s 4th week this week, it is not too late to get caught up.  I have been doing some of the challenges mentioned and have been loving how I am getting connected.

How about learning a new tool?

This has been the summer of Voxer for me.  This great little walkie talkie app has brought me even closer to some of the people I connect with and introduced me to so many new people.  There is definitely something special about hearing people’s voices along with their ideas.  Connect with me if you want, my user name is pripp5439.  But that doesn’t have to be the tool you use, pick one, and make it your own.

How about learning a new skill that has nothing to do with education but then still does?  

I will be starting Yoga in two week and I cannot tell you how excited I am to finally realize this dream.  I just haven’t found the time before, but now I am making the time.  So what have you been stalling on that you know will help you have a better life?  Now is the time to start.

How about teaching someone something?

On July 24th, I get to lead a session on global collaboration through blogging here in Wisconsin, a subject near and dear to me, but it doesn’t have to be professional teaching to count.  I am also teaching my 21 month old twins, Ida and Oskar,  to go to the potty and Thea, my 5 year old, to ride a bike with no training wheels.  There is always an opportunity to help others.

How about becoming a passionate reader?

There is nothing better than a great book you cannot wait to share with others.  Some recent favorites of mine include:

  • The entire Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare
  • The Desperate Adventures of Zeno and Alya by Jane Kelley
  • Noggin by John Corey Whalen
  • Words with Wings by Nikki Grimes
  • The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

How about meeting someone new?

Whether you are at one of the many conferences this summer, moving to a new school like, or moving to a new city (also like me), what are you doing to meet new people?  I have been blessed with the opportunity to create a great new team and I cannot wait to get to know them.

How about whatever you feel like?  What is it you really want to take time to do?  Every step we take matters, why not take it in the direction of change?

I am a passionate  teacher in Wisconsin, USA,  who has taught 4, 5th, and 7th grade.  Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day.  First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press.   Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now.  Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

being a teacher, classroom management, punishment, reflection, students

Call Me Crazy But It Is Still About the Kids…

I stopped using a punishment system in my classroom, when I realized I already knew who would get in trouble.

I stopped using a reward system in my classroom, when I realized I knew who would be rewarded.

Few kids ever proved me wrong, instead they mostly stayed within the track that my management system had placed them in.  And those that were always on the board?  Who I was always calling out?  They didn’t stay there for lack of trying, oh I tried to reach those boys behaving badly(because let’s be honest most of them were boys).  I tried to reason with them, talk about the future, praise them when they made better choices, point out their mistakes so they could fix them, help them grow, help them learn.  Support them, guide them, punish them when needed.

Sure, there was change.  I could usually get them to work after a while.  You take enough away and most kids will crumble at some point.  You yell enough and most kids will get to it.  But their behaviors never changed for good.  The next day, the next week,sometimes the next period, the battle started over and sometimes I ran out of punishment options.  Where do you go after you have sent a 10 year old kid to the office, had the principal yell at them, and pulled in their parents?  Do you start to suspend so that they will work harder?  Do you take away every privilige until they break?

It wasn’t until I got rid of my systems and started working on relationships, community, trust, and creating a passionate classroom environment, that the behaviors changed.  It wasn’t until I took down the behavior charts, and started to get to know my students better that the kids, those kids, started to care more.  As one principal told me, “It is not for themselves they work, it is for you, we will get them to work for themselves later.”  So I set out to create an environment where they wanted to be, create a classroom filled with learning that spoke to them.  That didn’t mean throwing out the curriculum but it meant working with it in a different way to reignite a curiosity that had been forgotten.  It didn’t always work, sometimes kids come to us with bigger demons than we can ever fight, but a seed had been planted in some of these kids that perhaps school wasn’t just out to get them.

I never knew that writing about public behavior charts would ignite a firestorm of comments on this blog.  After all, I have tackled bigger topics before.  But this one, this seemingly small part of our classrooms, has taken on a life of its own.  Some agreed, some discussed, and some simply thought I was crazy to put it mildly.  My skin has definitely grown thicker every day.  What upset me the most were not the words spoken about me, but rather about the kids we teach and how if we don’t do something like this, they will turn out in a certain way.  Here are a few highlights from comments…

” I’m sorry, but being an overprotective, hypersensitive teacher will get my students nowhere.”

“Maybe if we didn’t “baby” kids they would be stronger individuals.”

“…we are raising an entire generation of hypersensitive kids who are unable to behave appropriately, and take responsibility for their own actions. ”

“…is it almost came off sounding like if you use behavior charts you’re a bad, horrible teacher that could care less about the feelings of your students.”

“You want a society of sociopaths? Keep rewarding (or not addressing) bad behavior and failing to teach values.”

“So tired of these parents who want to caudle these disrespectful beings….oh I don’t want to hurt their feelings….please….I seriously would like to see you try to teach a group of children who are quite difficult….making noises, throwing chairs, flipping desks, kicking or hitting THE TEACHER! ”

In the end, what we do is about children, and I chose to get rid of a system that did not work for my students, nor me.  It did not promote unity, self-control, or solutions.  It was  a quick fix that sure let a child know where they stood for the day, but also let the rest of the world know.  As an adult, I am given the privilege of a private conversation whenever I screw up.  I wanted to afford my students the same thing.  That doesn’t mean I baby them, nor that they are coddled.  My difficult children, the ones that fist fought, that threw tables, that told me that there was nothing I could do about it.  They were the ones that needed me the most.  They were the ones that needed some control the most.

You may not agree with me on public behavior charts, you may even want to attack me personally, calling me delusional or worse.  But the kids?  They are not all bad kids, who we need to toughen up.   Some of these kids have had lives that I could never imagine dealing with.  They are not all kids that get away with whatever they want.  They are not all kids whose parents are not raising them right.  They are kids who are trying.  They are kids who want to make good choices.  They are kids who probably have dreams.  They are kids…Let’s not forget that.

I am a passionate  teacher in Wisconsin, USA,  who has taught 4, 5th, and 7th grade.  Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day.  First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press.   Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now.  Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.