being me – Page 49 – Pernille Ripp

Yes, I Am A Jealous Child

September 26, 2014December 29, 2014 Pernille Schmidt Ripp

I felt it creep in today. That feeling that I pretend to not have because I am grown up and above it. That feeling that eats away at me, making me doubt whether I am doing enough, trying enough, creating enough. Jealousy, oh you bad habit, I thought I had gotten rid of you.

It’s not that I am jealous of other people’s lives. I love my own, how can I not when I get to work with incredible people, teach amazing kids, and then come home to my family every night. I have a good life, I am fortunate, but still… Sometimes even what I do doesn’t feel like enough. I don’t have a fancy title to add to my name, nor any awards. My lessons aren’t always great, just ask my kids, and my plans sometimes don’t work. I have yet to be able to reach every child or make a difference for every one I teach. Jealousy can sometimes feel like a constant companion when you are on Twitter.

I realized a long time that jealousy is something that comes along with being a connected educator. When you get to surround yourself with incredible people who seem to have incredible ideas any moment of the day, you are bound to feel inadequate. You are bound to feel out of your league. You are bound to feel like you are simply not as good as them, no matter what your brain tells you. It is really easy to think you are bad when you are surrounded by greatness. So we can wallow in self-pity or we can accept and move on.

A few years back, I chose to accept it. I chose to allow myself to feel jealous, and then I chose to use that as a way to drive myself further. I realized that it was not the attention others got that made me jealous but the incredible things they got to do. Things that I didn’t get to do. Opportunities I didn’t have. So rather than be envious, I decided to to try to pursue the things that I was too scared to do before. So I wrote a book, then another. I submitted proposals to speak. I said yes to things that I before would have felt I was inadequate for. And yes, I wrote blog posts that I was too scared to write before. Has this changed my life? Yes. But am I perfect now? No. I still see people do incredible things and jealousy sneaks in again. But this time I don’t kick myself, nor do I tell myself that I will never reach that level. I instead ask myself; does this matter to you? And if yes, then how are you going to do that too? If no, then I simply tell those I am jealous of that I am happy they have the opportunity.

We can allow jealousy to eat us up or we can allow it to move us forward. We choose what to do with it, not the other way around. I know what I will always choose, even if I forget sometimes. I am only human after all.

I am a passionate teacher in Wisconsin, USA, who has taught 4, 5th, and 7th grade. Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day. First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” is out now from Corwin Press. Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

being me, ideas, Reading

So What Has Actually Been Working – 7th Grade Readers Workshop

September 25, 2014 Pernille Schmidt Ripp

Every year I start with so many ideas of what we will try, what will do, things we can accomplish. Every year, I have a long list of all of my ideas from the summer waking me up at night, getting me excited to teach again. And then…the year starts, I try some things, others are forgotten, some work, some don’t. This year with a new grade level and a new subject and only 45 minutes, there has not been a dull moment yet. So why not share, hopefully we can learn from each other.

What has worked:

Starting with independent reading. Jillian Heise shared this wonderful idea of having the first 10 minutes dedicated to independent reading, and while that cuts class time down to 35 minutes, this is the best use of 10 minutes I can think of. Students get settled, they actually read, and we all get a nice start to class.
Status of the class. This great idea from Donalyn Miller is a simple check in tool where students write down what they read in the 10 minutes. I use it to have students track their reading habits, such as whether or not they are actually reading and whether or not they are picking good books.
The “What to Read Next List.” Rather than showcase new books one at a time, I save them up and have book shopping time. Yet, with 5 English classes they cannot take any of the books until the end of the day. Thus the need for somewhere to write it down. Students get free time to browse the piles of books on the tables and share their excitement with others. They always have a book they cannot wait to read without it taking too much time.
Blogging! I was very nervous about whether we could fit blogging in but I am so glad we found the time. We blog every other week in class but then the students can blog as much or as little as they want outside of class. They can’t believe the comments they are getting, I cannot believe how much I am learning about them, but again, their voices and ideas are getting a place in the world, which matters so much.
Mini-lessons. I wasn’t sure how 7th graders would respond to this but it has worked well. We are able to get through the teaching so they can get to work. They don’t mind gathering on the carpet in chairs or on the floor and I like that we have a smaller area for discussion.
“Adult” discussion. We actively work on how to discuss our thoughts without raising our hands, I love how the students are figuring out how to do this while listening and responding to each other. We have a long way to go but the seed has been planted.
Choice. These students need to choose their books in order to keep reading. I have been a proponent of choice for many years and even more so with this age group. Some of my students hate reading with a passion and much of that hate comes from being forced to read certain books.
Picture books. I wasn’t sure if 7th graders would be too cool for picture books, but once again these timeless tales are capturing their audience. I love when I see two 7th graders sharing a picture book somehow thinking they are getting away with it. Reading is reading no matter what. And there is always time for a great picture book.
A huge library. I knew I needed a lot of books to keep 121 7th graders reading, and boy was I right. The taste, abilities, and needs are so varied that I am so glad I didn’t get rid of my “easier” books, nor nixed some of my tougher ones. Sure the library is a bit more messy than it was in my 5th grade but it also getting a lot of use, even though we have a fantastic library here too. I have even had teachers come in and borrow books, now that is a success.

What has not worked:

Post-its for all. I really drove the use of post-its home with my 5th graders but have fund it less useful with my 7th graders. Some need the, some use them, others don’t need them at all, and stil others need an entirely different system to get them thinking. What matters is that each child is on the path to figure out what works best for them in order to push their thinking.
Outside reading. I have yet to see a huge growth in outside reading. While the students know they are supposed to read, some choose not to, some don’t have time, and others forget. I am not enforcing it through a system simply restating the expectation every day. I will keep working on it.
My old conferencing ways. I used to call students to my table with all of their stuff but have found this wastes too much time. Instead I pop next to them with a sheet of address labels and I write my anecdotes on those. They then get transferred to an “I Have Noticed” sheet that I keep in their section binder.
Partnering students. I had partnered students based on personalities and not friendships, this has definitely backfired. I forgot how shy some 7th graders can be and have to re-think how to partner them better. They do not have assigned seating which has been fine so far so perhaps self-chosen partners wont be a bad idea.

While this is just a snapshot, I am happy to see more ideas that have worked than not. Working under the 45 minute time constraint has given me a whole new appreciation for middle school and high school teachers and all they do. Whew, there is a lot to cover int hat amount of time. What has been working for you?

being me, reflection

We All Have Worth

September 19, 2014 Pernille Schmidt Ripp

We do not think our words have value. We do not share our new ideas as loudly as we should, instead whispering them in the hopes that someone hears us. We do not want others to think we know better. We tread lightly so that others can see we know our place. We beat ourselves up before others can, that way we are ready for the disappointment.

Yet we tell our children that their words matter. That their voice should be heard around the world. That they should speak up, stand proud and stand tall behind the ideas they share. That their worth starts within them, not based on the opinions of others. We tell our children that they can make a difference if only they speak up. If only they dream. If only they try.

Yet our own actions do not fly so boldly. Instead we cower within the box we have placed ourselves in, even though the world needs our voices as well.

We forget that we have worth. That our words are worthy of an audience. That the ideas we carry within may help others as they have helped us. That although we may be unsure, we will not find greatness if we do not try. Our words have power. Our words have strength. Our words may take on a life of their own if only we release them. We all belong in the conversation, join in.

being me, books, reflection

Why the Time to Empower is Now

September 17, 2014 Pernille Schmidt Ripp

This post originally appeared on Corwin’s Connected Educator site.

I remember the first time I was called to the principal’s office as an adult. The sweaty palms, my mind racing with questions, my heart in my throat. Questions about what I had done to spark a one-on-one meeting taunted me the whole way there, and it wasn’t until I sat down in the chair and my principal smiled at me that I actually took a breath. I don’t remember now what the conversation was about, probably something about my students, but the experience of being called into an unannounced meeting, of entering into someone else’s territory left a deep impression. It left me feeling powerless as I walked into a situation I knew nothing about. It also prompted me to think of what I did to my students whenever I held them back from recess silently admonishing them to stay behind, or asked to speak with them outside of my classroom. How they must have felt their adrenaline spike; how they must have wondered what they had done wrong.

The empowered school is one where all voices are heard, dissenting opinions are valued, and staff is trusted. The principal is not simply the leader, but a voice in the discussion—just not THE voice. Empowered teachers feel they have control over their work environment, that their voice is heard, and that their experience matters. Empowered students know that their opinion matters, that they have control over their learning journey, and that school is worth their time. All of this leads to an environment based on community and trust, where everyone knows they matter. Sound utopian? Perhaps, but it is not. The steps toward a better functioning school are easily started and integrated.That feeling of powerlessness and fear of what’s to come is a feeling I don’t want to give to children or school staff unless it is warranted. Yet, most of our schools are set up with a very clear hierarchy of power. The principal or lead administrator holds most of the control and delegates morsels of it to chosen people, much like in our classrooms where the teacher holds the rein of power and only briefly lets students take control. This type of structure works by feeding itself—all important decisions are made by those in power and one must be given power to have any importance. It is a structure that has not been questioned for a long time, but I feel it is time to spread the control. It is time to give schools back to the staff, to give classrooms back to the students, and to empower others.

The first step is to reflect on who has the power within your environment? Who makes decisions? How is the power given? Acknowledging our weaknesses is always our first step in the road to change. We cannot change what we refuse to face.

The next step is to actually spread the power. How can staff meetings or meetings with students signal a power change? How can decisions be made where more voices are heard? How can all of the stakeholders be more involved in the decisions that are made that affect everyone?

The third step on your way to change is to actually change. We spend an awful lot of time discussing new initiatives, planning for them, and even figuring out the best way to implement them, but then we never actually change. This is where our time should be spent, where our focus should be.

I wrote my new book, Empowered School, Empowered Students hoping to inspire others to shift the power held within their schools and classrooms; to start a discussion on who has the power within our school and what does that power structure mean for the entire community of learners. The book is intended to be a practical how-to guide to empower staff and students, to create a community where everyone has a voice, and to use that voice for the betterment of all. It can be done, and it should be done. Empowering staff and students to change the way we teach and learn is an urgent need in our educational society, and those changes don’t have to be big to make an impact.

being me, new year, reflection

I Need to Forgive Myself

September 16, 2014 Pernille Schmidt Ripp

I have been rather contemplative as of late, not quite sure of myself, not quite sure of my worth as a teacher. I think many of us experience this every year as we start fresh, as we perhaps move grades, or move schools. Or even if we stay put, these new kids present us with a whole new world, and we forget that our old kids were once new to us as well.

So we beat ourselves up, think we are no longer great teachers, that we are not doing as well as the year before or that somehow we have already messed this year up. We lament our own limitations, highlight the things that are going wrong, and punish ourselves for not doing enough, teaching enough, being enough. We spend hours at night searching for solutions, new ideas, and new possibilities that will help us become that teacher again. That teacher that feels on top of the world. That teacher that feels like they did their part to help a child. Yet we forget that we already know a lot of what we need, that this too shall pass. That with each day and each moment with these kids, we get better, we grow together. The newness wears off and these kids became our new old kids and we settle into our groove.

So instead of continuing to beat myself up on this path of new, I am going to give myself a break. I am going to remember that I have never taught this grade level nor this curriculum before. That every day I AM trying something new even if it doesn’t feel that way. That it may not feel like I am becoming better or that we are growing together, but that we are, and I would know that if I only paid attention rather than beat myself up. I am forgiving myself for not being amazing. I am forgiving myself for not continually trying to be creative, push the boundaries. I am forgiving myself for the mistakes I am making every day. I am letting go of the need to try to be perfect, to even be great, and instead focusing on getting better, greatness will hopefully come some day.

I don’t know why i beat myself up. I don’t know why I pull myself down. But I do know that it doesn’t help. That reflection is great but self-doubt isn’t. I am learning once more to forgive myself for the teacher I am right now, with an eye on what I want to become. The path is there in front of me, I am already on my journey, but first I need to forgive myself. Do you?

PS: My second book comes out today. Empowered Schools, Empowered Students is finally ready for others to read, dissect, and hopefully like. Thank you to those who pre-ordered it.

Be the change, being a teacher, being me, reflection, Student-centered, students

Are We Having Honest Conversations with Kids?

September 13, 2014 Pernille Schmidt Ripp

The groan could have been heard for miles it seemed. The 7th grader in front of me looked at me with that look only kids can give you when you have said something that they hate.

“Post-its? I hate post-its, why do we have to use post-its?”

I bent down and said “Why?” took the few minutes to discuss and then knew I had to change what I was about to teach.

It was my first day of readers workshop with the students and I was pumped, I couldn’t wait to get them started on their journey to think deeper about their books, have better conversations, and boost their writing. And yet, already by the first hour, I had run into a boulder of disapproval.

In the past, I would have had a conversation with the student as well, but it would have centered on explaining why this was good for them, why they had to do it, and how they just had to trust me. This time though, I knew it wouldn’t be enough, that my role right now is not to force habits because I said so but rather create discussion and find habits that work for us. So I listened and we discussed and I realized that the student brought up points that I think of myself as I read through some of my lessons and it was time for me to admit it.

Being a teacher is sometimes like being an enforcer. We tell children what to do because we know best, we know the end point, and so we know the building blocks that they need to get there. We have discussions, we offer choice, but how often do we listen to what the students are telling us and admitting our own doubts or thoughts? How often do we admit our own adult habits and how they fly in the face of what we are teaching and then create a new path forward because we know the students might be right? How often do we listen when students tell us how they feel and then actually act upon it even if it means changing the way we teach?

We have to have honest conversations with our students. We have to be able to admit that sometimes the ideas we first had are not the ideas that are best suited for the children in front of us. That we as adults have developed habits that fly in the face of what we are teaching and yet we still manage to be deep thinkers. We have to admit that sometimes our lessons are not “real life” or even do-able for all of us. We have to admit that not everyone has the same path forward to whatever goal we may have set.

I speak to my students about developing as independent thinkers, yet I expect them to conform to all of the same rules in our classroom. I am not sure how to go forward, but I know something has to give. We may know what is best for most, but I need to know what is best for each. And that will take a lot of honest conversations.