Today I was flustered. Absolutely gobsmacked, probably would have turned bright red and almost tripped over a chair flustered. My retiring principal was giving a building tour to a principal candidate and stopped by my room. The candidate then told me that he reads my blog and had also seen my students’ webinar. For some reason this stooped me in my teaching tracks. The blogger Pernille would have had all sorts of scrupulous questions to ask about the candidate’s viewpoint of technology integration, global connections and student-centered learning. The real Pernille didn’t know what to say other than, “Welcome, this is our room and these are my kids” and then pretty much went on her way. Yikes.
The thing is, when I blog, I don’t really think anyone reads it, and yes I know how stupid that sounds, but perhaps if someone reads it they are really far away and I will never meet them. It is much easier to imagine no audience or one very far away such as in Antarctica or somewhere else remote. Somewhere where our paths will never cross. Of course, this is stupid of me to think as I can see where people visit my blog from, but still, to meet a “reader” face to face left me believing that I am very much an introvert. and definitely not as cool as the person who blogs here.
And yet, something I do take pride in is that I know that whatever that candidate has read on my blog, it is how I feel, it is how our classroom is, it is how I am as a teacher. The qualities of utmost important to me on my blog are transparency, honesty, and realness. There are things that are magical in my classroom but there are also many that are works in progress or that blow up in my face spectacularly. There are days where we are in a groove and others where I feel like I am lecturing to a door. Days where I feel I made a difference and days where I feel I had a negative impact on a child. But I blog no matter what, I blog whether it makes me look good or not. I put it out there for others to nod their heads and think they are not alone. There is a filter but only when it serves a purpose otherwise I do really put it all out there.
So if you ever happen to walk by my room, come on in, introduce yourself and feel me out. Let me know you are in the neighborhood and really curious. Let me know that my students sounded loud and engaged and you thought you would check it out. But whatever you do, leave the blog out of it for now, don’t tell me yet so I can let my guard down, let us settle into a conversation, feel each other out and learn a little bit. leave the blog out so I can share some of my secrets not thinking you already know them.
