learning – Page 2 – Pernille Ripp

A quote block where it says: Good feedback isn't about control, it's about conversation.

What if kids had the right to ignore our feedback? Not because they’re stubborn or disengaged, but because they understand it—and decide to make a different choice.

Too often, feedback feels like a demand: Fix this. Change that. Do it this way. But writers? They get feedback, weigh it, and sometimes say, “No, I’m keeping this.” That’s not disengagement—it’s ownership.

Let’s Build Feedback Negotiation into the Process

Instead of expecting students to accept every suggestion, teach them to think critically about feedback—to question, challenge, and ultimately make their own choices.

1️⃣ Shift the Conversation – Before giving feedback, set the tone:
🗣️ “You don’t have to take every suggestion. Your job is to think about it.”
Ask them: What do you want my feedback on? Where are you stuck? Make it a dialogue, not a directive. I’ve written about this before in the context of only looking at one thing in writing conferences.

2️⃣ Teach Kids to Push Back (The Great Way) –
When students disagree with feedback, they need language to explain why. Try modeling this:

“I see what you’re saying, but I’m keeping this word because it’s my character’s voice.”
“I understand your point, but I want this to feel unfinished on purpose.”
“I’ll change this part, but I’m going to keep this sentence because it’s important to me.”

If we want students to engage with feedback, we have to let them practice rejecting it thoughtfully—just like writers do.

3️⃣ Make Choice Part of the Process – Instead of requiring students to change everything, try this:
🔹 Pick one piece of feedback to apply and one to challenge. Explain why.
This simple step forces them to consider feedback instead of just following orders.

4️⃣ Celebrate Thoughtful Resistance –
When students defend their choices, it means they care. That’s the goal. Instead of marking something as “wrong,” ask:

Why did you make this choice?
What effect are you going for?
How can you make this even stronger while keeping your vision?

Good feedback isn’t about control. It’s about conversation. And if we want kids to become confident writers, we have to teach them that their voices matter—even if that means telling us no.

I haven’t used this blog in a long time. With the move back to Denmark, navigating the world as a mom of neurodivergent kids, and just the world (waving hands around me), this blog has been quiet. But with the decision to shut down my Patreon, I also might just come back here more. After all, my mind is still going a million miles a minute and perhaps, somewhere, someone could use a few of the ideas that I have. So hello again. It’s nice to be here.

Ever had a kid read your carefully written comment—something insightful, brilliant even—only to ask, “What does that mean?” Yeah. Me too.

If feedback is just for us, if it’s full of teacher-speak or rubrics no one actually reads, kids will ignore it. Not because they don’t care, but because it doesn’t feel like theirs.

Let’s fix that.

Instead of handing them a rubric, build it with them. Here’s how:

1️⃣ Look at real work – Show them examples (past student work, mentor texts, whatever fits). Ask: What makes this good? What makes it confusing? Let them lead.

2️⃣ List what matters – Write down their words. Not “clear transitions” but “It flows” or “I know what’s happening.” Keep it in their language, not ours.

3️⃣ Make it theirs – Turn their words into a checklist, an anchor chart, or a simple, student-friendly rubric. Let them help decide what matters most.

4️⃣ Use it. Every time. – When they write, when they revise, when they give each other feedback. Ask, “How does your work match what we said makes this strong?”

If we want kids to actually use feedback, it has to belong to them. Because the best feedback isn’t what we tell them—it’s what they understand enough to use.