being me – Page 48 – Pernille Ripp

being a teacher, being me, Student, student voice

We Teachers, We Make Mistakes Too

October 19, 2014December 29, 2014 Pernille Ripp

To my incredible former 5th grader,

I hear from your mom that school is not the way you want it. That last year, our year together, was so much better than the one you have now. That reading and writing are no longer your favorite things to do. That a teacher even told you that you can’t read picture books because they are for little kids. You aren’t quite sure that school is fun anymore, that anything can ever beat 5th grade.

I am here to tell you to not give up on school, not that I think you would anyway. You see, we teachers, we say a lot of things, and we sometimes don’t know how our words are taken. I wish we always said the right thing or even did the right thing. But we are human too, and sometimes words come out of our mouths before we have thought them through. Maybe that teacher who told you not to read picture books just hasn’t found the right one yet? Or maybe that teacher doesn’t know you yet. Doesn’t know how great of a reader you are, how you love to read a variety of books. How you love handing books to your teachers to have them read them so that you can share your favorite moments. Maybe that teacher didn’t mean it the way it sounded.

Even if it sounds like I am making up excuses for what your teachers are doing, know that I am listening. Know that sometimes we adults think we know best, even if we don’t. Know that sometimes we do know best but we don’t explain it well. Other times there is a big plan in the works and we have just forgotten to share it with our students. But we do listen, and we do care. And I can tell you that every teacher that gets to teach wants to teach you in the very best way that they can.

We teacher, we try really hard, but sometimes we miss the mark. Don’t you remember last year when I would screw up? How I would come in the next day and apologize? How sometimes you guys had to tell me how I had missed the mark? There is no such thing as a perfect teacher, there are only teachers trying really hard to make school a better place for all of their students. You would have hated being my student six years ago, I said a lot of things about what students were reading that now makes me cringe. And yet, I changed, and so can every teacher that you meet. But you first have to let them know who you are and what you love. You have to let them know how to teach you best, it’s ok, we teachers want to hear it. I know we sometimes seem too busy, I know we sometimes seem like we don’t have time for you students, but we do, and we care, and we want to be the best teachers for you.

So please don’t think school is not great anymore. That would simply break my heart. Instead, think of it as a year full of possibilities. You get to impress all of these new teachers, just like you impressed me. You get to help these teachers teach you best, but they can’t do that if you stay quiet. So find your voice, find a way, communicate what you need. Be respectful as you always have, but don’t lose yourself. You are a reader. You are a writer. And no teacher, whether they intend to or not, can take that away from you.

Love,

Mrs. Ripp

I am a passionate teacher in Wisconsin, USA, who has taught 4th, 5th, and 7th grade. Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day. First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” is out now from Corwin Press. Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

being a teacher, being me, Reading, students teach me

The Things I Did That Stopped A Love of Reading

October 18, 2014October 18, 2014 Pernille Ripp

I have always had good intentions, my heart and mind has always been in the right place whenever I have done anything “to” my students. I don’t think any teacher sets out to destroy, I don’t think any teacher wants to harm a child’s love of reading. And yet, they say that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, and nowhere is that more visible than when it comes to our reading instruction. When I look back upon the things that I have done, the things that I did because I thought they would help, but now know the results, oh boy. Well, let’s just say I am lucky that I have had amazing students that have helped me see the wrong in my rights.

So what did I do that was so wrong? Over the last 7 years as a teacher, this is how I have changed based on feedback from my students.

Then:

I forced them to read certain books because I knew better. Armed with levels and lessons, I have forced many a child in giving up the book they were certain to struggle through and handed them a better suited one. Better suited based on levels, reading abilities, but typically not interest.

Now:

Students have free choice to read with few restrictions. Throughout the year they have to read 25 books, 15 of which must be chapter books. If a child is continuously abandoning books we discuss, adjust, and try new things. We also spend time selecting books together and work on strategies to get through books that may be a bit out of their “level.”

Then:

Students had to prove they had read either through worksheets or a reading log. Worksheets never worked for me because they didn’t give me the deeper level thoughts I wanted, plus it meant that students had to read the same book, and reading logs are something I will never subject a child to again if I can help it.

Now:

Students prove to me that they are reading in a myriad of ways without a reading log or a worksheet, the most common one being conversation. We discuss books frequently in class and even within my 45 minute class period the students still get 10 minutes of independent reading time. There are so many ways we can see whether a child is reading, we just have to tap into it.

Then:

We did the whole class book throughout the year. This was to make sure we had a common text to discuss and I also believed that my developing readers could learn a lot from the stronger readers (which I still believe), however, this format slowed down some kids while it burned out others.

Now:

We do the whole class read aloud. Starting with the Global Read Aloud we have a whole class text read aloud every day as part of our mini-lesson. Students can develop their discussion skills around a shared text and I have a text to use every day as a springboard. Students are then still free to read whichever book they want and apply our strategies discussed to that one once the read aloud portion of the day is complete.

Then:

All students had to use post-its. This was a way for me to see their thinking while they read, they would even hand them in.

Now:

Students show me their thinking however they want. Some still use post-its which I have readily available, others their notebook, their blog, or any other way they can think of. What matters is that they are finding a way for them to stop and think and then jot down their thoughts so that we can have some deep discussions.

Then:

I always had an independent text to use for every small group. I always did guided reading with the same kids every week and we always had either a pre-selected book club book or a text that I had selected. This way I could control the strategies we developed because I had pre-read everything and could thus lead the conversation. Students answered questions but no real discussion ensued.

Now:

Sometimes I have a text but more likely I have a picture book. Students and I read the text together and then work our way through it. All ages love picture book sand I have been spent a lot of money getting great ones into the hands of my students. We read the book and then apply the strategy to their own book right then and there so that I can see whether they fully understand it. If a child needs extra time, I hold them back while I release the others.

Then:

Students did book clubs with me as the guide. This type of guided reading was something I worked very hard at but frankly it was exhausting. I always had to read ahead and prepare the discussions so that I could lead the conversations. Often I had a hard time keeping the 6 different books I was using straight, and trying to find multiple texts centered around the same theme was also hard. Students did little discussion but at least they had a shared reading experience.

Now:

Students run the book clubs. I check in and help them push their thinking but they set the pace, they select the books based on group conversations, and they “manage” the club. I have to step in once in a while to help a student who is not adhering to the group’s etiquette but mostly the students are in control.

Then:

Groups were created based on level. I did not look at pace, interest, or specific skills needed, only what level the computer or Rigby said the child was at. While this is a great place to start for the year I didn’t move past it until I realized this was not a great way for my students to learn from others.

Now:

Students are grouped based on needs. Typically students go in and out of small groups that crop up throughout a week based on how they are doing on certain skills. This means that students don’t feel labeled as beign a “bad” reader because they are not in the same group day after day. They instead see that we are helping them with the skill they need and then released once they have it.

Then:

Students shared their reading lives with the class. I always knew I wanted a classroom that was focused on reading, one in which reading took a central role throughout all curriculum. One where our reading lives were visible to each other. But I didn’t think to share it with others.

Now:

We share our reading with the world. Students share their books on our blogs, ask for recommendations, and ask questions of other students that are reading the same book. Our reading lives are not just something we discuss, it is up for everyone to discuss, and the world has a lot to offer.

There are so many things we choose to do within our reading instruction, or any instruction for that matter, that we think will help students, but end up robbing them of the spark that carries them forward as readers, While some of these things may work for other teachers, they have not worked for me. I am just grateful that my students have had the courage to tell me these things but they would not have done so if I hadn’t asked. So please, if nothing else, ask your students what helps them become better readers and then do more of that.

being a teacher, being me, reflection

Yes, I See You

October 8, 2014 Pernille Ripp

Dear Mrs. Ripp,

Today in FACE we were given a assignment that says we have to tell an adult in OMS that we are grateful for them and why. I want you to know that we were free to choose which adult we wanted to do. Out of choice I picked you. I also want you to know that I’m not just saying this because its an assignment, that’s half the reason. The other reason is that it is true what I’m about to say everything I say is true. So here it is…. Mrs. Ripp I am grateful that you are my teacher, because everyday when I come into class you look so happy to see ME. No teacher I have ever had does this to me. Also everyday in class you are extremely kind to me (like every teacher should be) but when you do these things it makes each day better for me, and I hope for you too! In other words thank you for being such an amazing teacher!

And my heart stopped.

And then the tears came.

And then I called my husband to read it to him.

You look so happy to see ME

And I am. Every day, I smile. Every day I laugh. Every day I get pushed harder than I have even been pushed before, not just by the kids who deserve so much, but by my own perfectionism that can be punishing indeed. But I see them, and I call them by name. I remember their troubles, I remember their lives. I ask those questions that we sometimes forget to ask even though we know they matter so much. I stop, listen, much like the people I work with do. And together, every day, we try to see these kids, not just teach them. And yet, whether this is my home has hung above me like a ghost.

You see, I have doubted myself so much. I have doubted whether I deserved to be in the job that I have now. Whether my words mean anything to these 7th graders. Whether my passion would shine through, whether I could do it. Even on the good days, and there have been many, that voice has torn away at me; do you deserve to be here? Is this what you are meant to do? Are you good enough?

You see 7th graders are tough. You think you have them figured out and a new kid shows up the next day, sometimes the next hour, and you had it all wrong. They want you in so many roles that you often forget what you started out doing, just so you can help that one child in front of you at that very moment. Who cares about what should have been done when this is more important?

So this note. On a random Wednesday, from a child that I already knew I was lucky to teach, this note changed everything. This note made it click, and for the first time I said those words aloud that have been sneaking into my mind these past few weeks. Maybe I was meant to be a 7th grade teacher. Maybe 4th and 5th were just the courage builders, the years I needed to find my feet.

Because I see them. And they see me. Every single day. And every day I hope that they see how I smile, not because I have to, but because I can. Because teaching these kids is what I was apparently meant to do. I guess I just hadn’t realized it yet.

I am a passionate teacher in Wisconsin, USA, who has taught 4, 5th, and 7th grade. Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day. First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” is out now from Corwin Press. Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

being a teacher, being me, reflection

The Downside to Being a Connected Educator

October 5, 2014December 29, 2014 Pernille Ripp

I have written a lot about all that being a connected educator has done for me. I have written a lot about how I would not trade it for anything and that I hope others will choose to become connected as well. I have written about how being a connected educator has enabled me to have connected students, which has radically changed the way I teach. And yet, I have not talked about the downfall of being connected much. Not like this, not in this way.

Yet, I think in honor of Connected Educator month, (which is a strange month anyway because aren’t we always connected?), I think it is time to discuss the downfalls. Those things that I deal with from being a connected educator, because after all, if I am going to encourage others to be connected, I think I need to be honest about all that it entails.

You are no longer private. Of course, you can edit what you put out into the world, but the truth is the moment you open up your classroom and your thoughts to the world, people will have an opinion on it. And sometimes that opinion hurts. Other times it is completely false. I carefully pick the words I put out there but at the same time, my skin has grown thicker, and yet, because I choose to put it out into the world it seems to carry so much more weight in my life simply because others know what I do.
You can get a big head. It is easy to think that you are more important than you are because of the validation that comes along with being connected. We are awfully good at praising one another, which is wonderful, but at the same time it can also lead to a false sense of accomplishment. “I must be doing something amazing because all of these people tell me I am.” What we forget is that we choose what we put out there, not many share their utmost failures or embarrassing mistakes, thus we look incredible online. That can only grow as more people get connected with us; our ego ticks upward right along with our follower count.
You can get really jealous. Michelle Baldwin wrote a blog post discussing the identity of teaching and wrote that a problem she had faced was that the more she did, the more she needed to do to feel the same way. Part of being a connected educator means that you are not just comparing yourself to your local colleagues, but to everyone out there. So if someone is writing a book, I feel I should write one too, if someone is keynoting a conference, I wonder why I am not. It becomes this viscous circle of wanting to do more to get more, which is hard to break.
You feel you need to be perfect. I choose to put a lot of my flaws out there because others need to know I am not a perfect teacher, nor do I think I am. And yet, every time I publish a post discussing my mistakes or screw ups, I cannot help but cringe a bit. Am I really putting this out there publicly? What if it reaches some person that will hold it against me? And yet, I am not perfect, none of us are, but stating that publicly is terrifying.
You lose time from other things. Yes, I choose to be connected but I am well aware of how my habits have changed. I Vox when I am driving in the car rather than listen to an audio book or podcast. I check Twitter while my husband is driving rather than speak to him. I read blog posts rather than books. And then there is the feeling of constantly needing to produce. Although I try to not pay much attention to what my site statistics are, I still wonder if they are dipping or if they are stagnant. Being connected can sometimes feel like a job, and not in a good way.
You are perceived a certain way. I remember when a close friend asked me where I was going with all of this writing about no homework, no rewards, no grades, and I looked at her confused. Sure, I had written about those things (and continue to) but I didn’t feel like that was all I did. Yet, the perception of me was starting to take shape and it was feeding itself. I think this can be both a positive thing and a negative one, after all, we can somewhat control that perception, but from my own experience it is hard to change it once it is out there, and you can feel boxed in.
You may forget about your local PLN. When I first became connected I couldn’t believe the online discussions, collaborations, and profound idea sharing I was having with educators all over the world. Yet upon closer inspection I realized I wasn’t having those same moments with the people I worked with in my school. Being connected to a global PLN had taken the place of the local connections because somehow the exoticism of the global collaboration seemed like it would be more beneficial, yet this is not ture. Being connected does not just mean that you are connected globally, it also means that you nurture your local connections and include those people in your PLN. Sure, I have had incredible moments online with people I have never met, but I have also had that face-to-face with people I get to work with. Don’t dismiss the local just because it doesn’t seem as exciting.
You think there is a right way. I used to think that all teachers should be on Twitter, that they should blog, that they should engage in a certain way with others because that is what was working for me. But that’s exactly it; they worked for me. Being a connected educator does not mean doing certain things or using certain tools, it means being connected, joining together with others. Whichever way you are doing it, is probably the right way for you.
You may become a target. I was told once that I had a bulls-eye on my back because I chose to be connected. When I wrote about being bullied by a former colleague, I cannot tell you how many people reached out to me privately to share their stories. The biggest thing we had in common was the fact that we were connected educators putting our work into the world. That does not make it automatic that people who choose to connect will be targets within their districts but it sure does offer up ammunition if needed.

Don’t take this post the wrong way, I love being a connected educator, but I am not a fool when it comes to the downfall of it all. I struggle with many of these things regularly and yet every time I run into something negative, I consciously reaffirm my decision to be connected. The positive outcomes will always outweigh the negative, but let’s not fool ourselves that being connected is always a magical thing. It can be, but it can also be hurtful, brutal, and time consuming. And yet, I wouldn’t go back to how I used to be; the benefits have simply been too great.

PS: To see great reasons for why you should become connected, check out Angela Watson’s post

Awards, being me, reflection

Once Again I Am the Loser – But Not Really, Well Maybe

September 27, 2014December 29, 2014 Pernille Ripp

Tonight I am the second time loser of an award. It happened rather anticlimactically. I paused to check my Twitter feed in between carrying a bucket of dirty water from the carpet cleaner to the sink. Congrats rang out all around but not to me. I shrugged, felt happy for the winner, and told my husband I was a loser once more. He gave me a very strange look indeed.

I have never shied away from expressing my hatred toward awards in general. It hasn’t always been like this, I used to hand out awards like I was trying to get a degree in it, and yet, I realized one day that it was mostly the same kids getting rewards through my own fault and that of the systems implemented. I realized one day that I was not the kid that would have gotten any because I never did. Funny, how a tradition like that follows you into adulthood. And yet now, I am not as bothered, I have bigger things to do. Bigger things to be proud of. And besides, my daughter told me tonight that I am the world’s best mom. That’s the award I want to win every night.

And yet. I am loser but at least I was nominated. I was recognized for something that is bigger than me, the Global Read Aloud, which I happened to create. I was part of an elite five that somehow had been chosen to represent all of the millions of elementary teachers in the US (or the world, I am not sure). I had been singled out. The young me would have jumped for joy – finally someone to recognize this greatness- and yet the adult me just feels dirty. I cannot help but think of all of the other teachers that should have been nominated, or all of the other people who make our jobs easier, better. All of the others that we build our success upon.

So rather than blast awards more than I have, I would rather use this blog to nominate people who I think deserve some recognition. You may know them, you may not, I could nominate many incredible people who have thousands of followers, people who know of them already, but to me it seems unnecessary. Chances are the people you know who have changed my life are exactly that; people you know. So instead I would like to recognize some quieter people. Those who make me think. Those who make a difference not just to me, but to many others, that don’t seem to fall into any award categories.

To the bus driver, Brad, who for the last two days has made sure that my daughter got to her new school and back to me safely; thank you. Her last school lost her twice on the busses so having her come off of your bus with a smile and you waving and calling her by name, that means the world to me.

To the para that comes to my room in 5th hour and laughs along with me at the crazy things the students do, and yet jumps in every time anyone has a need, thank you. Lynn, you make me feel like I am a better teacher.

To Kelly, “my” special education teacher who sometimes reads this blog but has no idea how at home she has made me feel and how much she does not just for me, but for the school, thank you. You should have thousands of people following you if you ever get on Twitter.

To Jen Wagner, who tirelessly creates global projects that others can do for free just to make the world smaller; thank you. You got me started on global collaboration, just like so many others. You make it safe and you make it fun. I don’t think the world knows how much time it must take you to do it, but I do, and I appreciate it more than you know.

To Jessica Lifshits, your post this summer about coming out and embracing who you are in your classroom, has rocked my world. The work you are doing to create a safe community for LGBTQ teachers may be slow and painful, but you are changing the world by making it better for all of us to find our tribe.

To HappyCamperGirl, I know your name is Amy, but I realized tonight that I don’t know your last night. We follow each other on Twitter, I have learned from on many occasions, how do I not know your last name? Your post on finding your tribe and being there for each other as teachers completely changed the way I treat people that I work with. You made me realize that we are not in competition, but that we are better together. That we should not be tearing each other down, but building each other up. You did that for me, I am sure those I work with thank you for it.

To Tony, how did you become like my annoying little brother so quickly even if you are older than me? It’s crazy how close Voxer can make you feel to someone. You guide me when I need it but you also make me think. Checking in with you is a highlight for me, you make me a better teacher because I want to be more like you.

And finally, to my edu sisters; Leah, Kaye, Jena (and sometimes Sue), your words matter to me every day. Your stories, your ideas, your dreams resonate. I see you as those I come home to every day on my way to my home. I love knowing you like this, I am not alone, because I have you.

How about we all took the time to nominate someone who makes our lives better? How about for once we don’t recognze people like me who have a blog like this. How about we recognize the people who don’t get recognized, those who may seem invisible? I think it would be worth our time.

being me, collaboration, reflection

Yes, I Am A Jealous Child

September 26, 2014December 29, 2014 Pernille Ripp

I felt it creep in today. That feeling that I pretend to not have because I am grown up and above it. That feeling that eats away at me, making me doubt whether I am doing enough, trying enough, creating enough. Jealousy, oh you bad habit, I thought I had gotten rid of you.

It’s not that I am jealous of other people’s lives. I love my own, how can I not when I get to work with incredible people, teach amazing kids, and then come home to my family every night. I have a good life, I am fortunate, but still… Sometimes even what I do doesn’t feel like enough. I don’t have a fancy title to add to my name, nor any awards. My lessons aren’t always great, just ask my kids, and my plans sometimes don’t work. I have yet to be able to reach every child or make a difference for every one I teach. Jealousy can sometimes feel like a constant companion when you are on Twitter.

I realized a long time that jealousy is something that comes along with being a connected educator. When you get to surround yourself with incredible people who seem to have incredible ideas any moment of the day, you are bound to feel inadequate. You are bound to feel out of your league. You are bound to feel like you are simply not as good as them, no matter what your brain tells you. It is really easy to think you are bad when you are surrounded by greatness. So we can wallow in self-pity or we can accept and move on.

A few years back, I chose to accept it. I chose to allow myself to feel jealous, and then I chose to use that as a way to drive myself further. I realized that it was not the attention others got that made me jealous but the incredible things they got to do. Things that I didn’t get to do. Opportunities I didn’t have. So rather than be envious, I decided to to try to pursue the things that I was too scared to do before. So I wrote a book, then another. I submitted proposals to speak. I said yes to things that I before would have felt I was inadequate for. And yes, I wrote blog posts that I was too scared to write before. Has this changed my life? Yes. But am I perfect now? No. I still see people do incredible things and jealousy sneaks in again. But this time I don’t kick myself, nor do I tell myself that I will never reach that level. I instead ask myself; does this matter to you? And if yes, then how are you going to do that too? If no, then I simply tell those I am jealous of that I am happy they have the opportunity.

We can allow jealousy to eat us up or we can allow it to move us forward. We choose what to do with it, not the other way around. I know what I will always choose, even if I forget sometimes. I am only human after all.