being me – Page 55 – Pernille Ripp

When Teachers Bully Teachers

June 29, 2014December 29, 2014 Pernille Ripp

Three years ago, I wrote an anonymous post and asked a friend to post it for me. The story was burning up inside of me, but at the time I was too scared to publish it because I was in the middle of the situation, and terrified that it would only get worse. Yet I knew that there had to be others out there like me, who were going through the same situation, who felt so all alone just like I did.

Today I choose to reclaim my past as I leave my old district and school and venture forward, it is time to take back the power that this situation had over me. It is time to move on and away from the past. It is time to tell the story of what can happen when teachers bully teachers.

The year I got hired at my school my mentor moved away. I was eager, ready to learn, and most of all ready to form a team. Unfortunately I was the third wheel to a two-some that had been together for some years and had gone through some pretty heavy-duty stuff. They switched classes, they knew each other like the back of their hand, and I was the puppy always trailing behind, hoping they would throw me a bone. It wasn’t that they excluded me, I just don’t think I knew how to fit. After a while, I decided to go on my own, after all, my students were waiting for me to teach them and not having a team was not going to be a good enough excuse to fail my kids. So I forged on, challenging myself and hoping that one day my team would find space for me. That year I was by myself through difficult parent situations and difficult student situations. I ate lunch in my classroom because no one sat with me in the staff lounge. It wasn’t that they didn’t like me, they just didn’t have time for me. Instead other teachers were busy pointing out how I was a favorite since the principal spent so much time in my room. They didn’t realize that the reason he was in there was because I invited him just so I had someone to help me that first year. I didn’t realize how I was viewed until later in the year I was pulled into my principal’s office to be reprimanded for having said “Have a nice weekend” in the hallways. I was told that someone had complained about me since I should be thankful I had a job and not look forward to the weekend so much. In fact, it was later included in my formal observation that I should know my place more. Stunned, I asked who it was, but was refused an answer. I left that conversation wondering who would want to get me into trouble over something so trivial well knowing that it could have been many people. I felt so alone.

I heard the rumors about why I was hired (because of my looks), I heard how I was the favorite and was therefore given easy classes, extra things for my room, and basically had a free pass. I cried about it, got angry, tried to discourage the principal from coming into my room. It didn’t help. He stopped coming but the rumors continued. The whispers as I walked by in the hallway, the icy stares, the unreturned hello’s. The social isolation would have made any mean girl proud. So I got really quiet and tried to keep to myself, finding a couple of people I could trust, continuously trying to reach out to my team, hoping that someone would take pity on me. Few did, after all, I had done it to myself.

Once more I ended up in the principal’s office; this time a teacher had turned me in for disagreeing with a veteran teacher in a small meeting. I was written up for being disrespectful and not knowing my place. Again I asked who had come to the principal and was given no answer. It was not in my best interest to know and I should be happy that there were not more severe consequences. It was even put in my formal observation for the year, my permanent record, and I had to submit an apology to the teacher, who by the way, was not the one who had complained about me. Instead I was told to keep my mouth shut, know my place, and try to get people to like me. The ignorance of my principal that he, in fact, had anything to do with the fact that people despised me was more than I could take. I started to contemplate moving but decided that I wanted to stay to try to make a difference, to change the attitude, rather than to let them run me out.

This year I knew was going to be a challenge. One powerful teacher, in particular, had become the ring leader of my hate group. She complained about me to anyone that would listen, including my fledgling team, parents, and, of course, the principal. For some reason she had power and people listened. I knew that some of my more unorthodox ideas such as limiting grades and homework were really going to upset people, particularly some veteran teachers who already disliked me, she being one of them. And yet, I knew I had to keep growing as a teacher whether people hated me or not because after all how bad could it get? I would always have my principal or so I thought, instead I didn’t. He left me alone because he was told by senior teachers that they knew I was his favorite and how hurtful it was to them. So instead I became isolated, fending for myself. Thank goodness for a couple of good friends, my husband, and Twitter or I would have lost it.

Throughout this process I have been forced to look in the mirror again and again. Am I those things that people claim? Am I a person not to be trusted because the principal is my confidante, because I am his favorite? Will my students fail because of me? Will they not be prepared for the rest of their school years because of what I did to them? I have had to reflect and tear myself apart as I wonder; did I do this to myself? Sure, there have been days I have not been proud of, days where I should have kept my opinion to myself, or tread more lightly. Yet there has also been so many days where I did not deserve the treatment I was given, where even after extra effort, people just did not care, did not believe, did not want their minds changed. I also question myself; is this all in my head? Have I created the awkwardness, the silence, the people passing by my door rather than coming in? Then I realize that it did happen, that the rumors were spread, those hushed conversations, those scoldings really did happen. Perhaps I could have done more but I guess I will never know if it would have changed anything. I know I have not been a perfect team member, I know I have made mistakes, but I have also tried to do my best. I have been open, eager, welcoming, and ready to share. And yet somehow all of this was not enough,

So what has this year been like? Like the worst high school experience, the only thing missing has been being locked in a locker or having my car keyed. All year I have fought comments about how awful I am as a teacher and how dare I challenge what veteran teachers are doing. I have been told that other teachers worry about my students since I am not teaching right or even preparing them well. I have been told that I need to know my place over and over and that no one likes me. I have been told that no one wants to be on my team and that I am giving the school a bad name. I have been called selfish, delusional, and ineffective. I have been called a bad teacher. So this year I have cried, vented to close friends and just tried to rise above it. I know what is best for my kids. I know that I am good teacher. And yet, I am worn down.

It is funny; I have lied so many times about how supportive my school is of me, that I sometimes start to believe it. My principal was supportive, in secret, my special ed teacher, ELL teacher, and a few friends were, but that is really it. Some teachers have not cared, which was a welcome relief or just outright told me how they feel. The powerful teacher told me that she is genuinely worried for my students since she does not feel they will be successful next year and that I shouldn’t be allowed to teach. At least this time she said it to my face rather than behind my back.

So a couple of weeks ago, I did the unthinkable, I applied for a transfer to another school. After a secret meeting was called to discuss how the principal cannot be trusted and the powerful teacher cried about how she was the victim at our school, I thought; enough. I don’t want to be the scapegoat anymore. I don’t want to be in a place where success is not celebrated. Where challenges are not desired. This is not me. I love teaching and I want to teach for many years to come, but I cannot go to work in a place where I am not welcomed. Where I am blamed for things I have nothing to do with, where people feel they have a free pass to tell me how they really feel about me and my teaching style without even knowing anything. So I am leaving, and my heart is lighter, and yet I feel like a coward.

I feel like I should stay and fight for change like I have been the last 3 years. Like I shouldn’t rock the boat. But I can’t stay, it will devour me if I do. When I pressed send on that email letting my employee coordinator know that I wanted to transfer, I felt the biggest weight lift. And then I felt tears. These years of being hated, of not knowing who to trust or who to confide in has taken their toll. It will be a long time before I try to have a close relationship with my principal, in fear of being labeled, I will have a hard time trusting team mates. Too many times the accusations came from the team I was supposed to have and the protection did not come from my leader.

Postscript – I didn’t leave. I never got any of the transfers but instead received a phone call late one night. It was the ring leader calling to apologize. I still remember her words telling me that she knew she had done me wrong, that she had been a bully, that she had prayed about it, and she was sorry. In fact, she was so sorry that she had decided to leave the school (not just because of me). She asked me if I could forgive her and although I should have said yes, I told her I didn’t know. The damage she had done to me was so raw that I couldn’t think of forgiveness at this moment, I still don’t know if I could. So I stayed and I became a 5th grade teacher and found a team, one that might have thought I was a bit crazy, but still supported me. One that taught me that we can all get along, that there is room for all sorts of teaching, and that there are ways to discuss our differences. I stayed three more years until my heart called for a new challenge and a new district. Which is where I stand today, poised at the edge of a new adventure, hoping that this never happens to another teacher.

I am a passionate teacher in Wisconsin, USA, who has taught 4, 5th, and 7th grade. Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day. First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now. Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

Be the change, being me, books, Student-centered

Oh Yes, I Wrote Another Book…

June 28, 2014 Pernille Ripp

People often ask me where I find the time to do what I do, and honestly, it is not that I have a magic wand. I multi-task a lot, sometimes I am over-connected and need to find a better balance, sometimes it is late at night when I can’t sleep, and at one time it was sitting next to a little, tiny baby growing in the NICU.

My second book, published by Corwin, is coming out in September, and it was written in that little room, in the NICU at Meriter Hospital in Madison, Wisconsin. I filled it with the hopes for Augustine and the type of school I wish for her when she gets to be 5. I filled it with the dreams I have for the schools I work at, for the teachers I learn with, for the students I teach. And so my second book is filled with empowerment. A plea to transform our schools from top-down decision machines, to environments where there are many leaders, many ideas, and staff, as well as students, that feel that they are in control of their educational journey.

Much like my first book, “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students,” this book is meant to be an idea book, a book that gives you things you can do right now to change your environment. A book that will give you hope, hopefully strengthen your vision of what a learning environment can look like, and re-ignite your feeling of power in education.

So this book, “Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners,” will hopefully end up on your to-read list. It will hopefully change the way we do school, no longer relying on our old methods, but instead embracing all of the stakeholders, including the students, when we discuss what school should be like. I hope together we make that change, not just for ourselves, but for all the kids we work with. Just like Augustine at 6 months is realizing her own potential, we need to make sure that our schools support all students and all staff to leave their mark and change the world.

To pre-order your copy, please go here.

Be the change, being me, new year, Uncategorized

What’s Your Change this Summer?

June 27, 2014June 28, 2014 Pernille Ripp

One of my most favorite things about summer is that time to finally change something. While I change a lot throughout the year, summer is like my new year. The time where I have the energy to really think through practices, to get re-energized, to change something, big or small. Because that’s the thing with change, it doesn’t have to be monumental to matter. It can be just taking one step in a new direction, implementing one new idea, thinking one new thought. And while I tend to binge change, I thought it only appropriate to share some ideas that may help you change.

How about reaching out for global collaboration?

There are so many ways to get connected and to have your students get connected these days, even with the strictest of district policies and the smallest amount of tech, there are so many ways. The Global Read Aloud, a project I created in 2010, sets out to make it easy for you. You read aloud the same book as teachers around the world at the same time and then make a connection with others reading it. More than 150,000 students are signed up for this year so far. Others ideas for connection is through blogging, Twitter, Skype, Projects by Jen, The Traveling Rhino, or making your own project.

How about reading a great book?

There is nothing quite like sitting down with a really well-written education book to inspire your own journey. “The Book Whisperer” by Donalyn Miller did that for me a few years back, as well as “Awakened” by Angela Watson (a book study is about to begin on this great book!). This year I am excited to finally take the time to read her second book “Reading in the Wild” and cannot wait to get inspired again. Also, on my to read list is “This is Not a Test” by Jose Vilson, “Falling in Love with Close Reading” by Chris Lehman and Kate Roberts, and “Encouragement in the Classroom: How Do I Help Students Stay Positive and Focused” by Joan Young. Finally, you can even read my book if you would like, it has been getting great reviews, “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students.”

How about a challenge?

It is not too late to get involved with some of the many challenges floating around the internet this summer. One of my favorites, and not just because the educator who is behind it all, Todd Nesloney, is a pretty awesome guy, but because it is so broad, is the Summer Learning Series. While the challenge is on it’s 4th week this week, it is not too late to get caught up. I have been doing some of the challenges mentioned and have been loving how I am getting connected.

How about learning a new tool?

This has been the summer of Voxer for me. This great little walkie talkie app has brought me even closer to some of the people I connect with and introduced me to so many new people. There is definitely something special about hearing people’s voices along with their ideas. Connect with me if you want, my user name is pripp5439. But that doesn’t have to be the tool you use, pick one, and make it your own.

How about learning a new skill that has nothing to do with education but then still does?

I will be starting Yoga in two week and I cannot tell you how excited I am to finally realize this dream. I just haven’t found the time before, but now I am making the time. So what have you been stalling on that you know will help you have a better life? Now is the time to start.

How about teaching someone something?

On July 24th, I get to lead a session on global collaboration through blogging here in Wisconsin, a subject near and dear to me, but it doesn’t have to be professional teaching to count. I am also teaching my 21 month old twins, Ida and Oskar, to go to the potty and Thea, my 5 year old, to ride a bike with no training wheels. There is always an opportunity to help others.

How about becoming a passionate reader?

There is nothing better than a great book you cannot wait to share with others. Some recent favorites of mine include:

The entire Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare
The Desperate Adventures of Zeno and Alya by Jane Kelley
Noggin by John Corey Whalen
Words with Wings by Nikki Grimes
The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

How about meeting someone new?

Whether you are at one of the many conferences this summer, moving to a new school like, or moving to a new city (also like me), what are you doing to meet new people? I have been blessed with the opportunity to create a great new team and I cannot wait to get to know them.

How about whatever you feel like? What is it you really want to take time to do? Every step we take matters, why not take it in the direction of change?

being me

In the Past Four Years

June 23, 2014 Pernille Ripp

Four years ago, this is what I wrote on the 23rd of June, 2010

“Blogging can appear self-indulgent at times, yet inspirational at others. Being a teacher is not just a job, it can be an all consuming, never-ending thought process. Wherever I go; whatever I do, I am constantly thinking about whether this is something that can be used in my classroom – can I use this? It is different world view that one never gets quite used to, and sometimes it can be annoying to those close to you, and yet I would not change my life for anything.

To stay current and gain even more inspiration, I read blogs, I comment on them, I share the good ones. So now it is my turn to add my voice to the ever-growing world of bloggers. I hope I have something valuable to say.”

And with that I hit publish and started this blog

In the past four years, I have written from the heart, I have written whatever I was pondering. I have reflected honestly and outloud, hoping others would reflect along with me. I have practiced what I blogged. And I have changed. Oh boy, have I changed. I have cried when people have crossed the line from being critical to just plain mean, I have walked with my head held high whenever someone has said that my words has helped them. My blog has helped me get through hard situations both professionally and personally and have made so many connections.

I have put it all out there and I have gotten so much in return.

I never know when I will blog again. I never know when inspiration will strike. I always hope for another post but I never make any promises. I continue to write for myself, documenting my own journey, hoping to help others find the courage to change, hoping to help others give their students a voice. And so whenever anyone reads a post, whenever anyone comments, it never ceases to surprise me. After all, I am just being me, I am just blogging. I am nothing special.

I am not a hero. I am not amazing. I am not a rockstar.

I am simply a teacher who likes to think and happens to write down those thoughts. Hopefully there will be more posts to come. Happy 4 years to me and many more.

Be the change, behavior, being me, classroom management, reflection, students

So What’s My Problem With Public Behavior Charts?

June 21, 2014July 29, 2014 Pernille Ripp

image borrowed from Kimberley Moran – see her great post on how to move past behavior charts linked at the bottom of the post

The day starts out fine, you had your breakfast, you had your tea, you feel prepared, happy even. You are off to school and ready to teach. At the morning staff meeting you get so excited over an idea you lean over to your colleague to whisper in their ear. After all, they really need to hear this. “Mrs. Ripp, please move your clip.” Shocked, you look around and feel every set of eyes on you. You stand up, walk to the front, move your clip from the top of the chart to yellow or whatever other step down there is. Quietly you sit down, gone is your motivation for the day, you know it can only get worse from here.

Ridiculous right? After all, how many times as adults are we asked to move our name, our clip, our stick, or even write our name on the board so others can see we are misbehaving? We don’t, and we wouldn’t if we were told to, after all, we demand respect, we demand common courtesy, we expect to be treated like, well, adults. So us, moving sticks, yeah right…

Search for “Classroom behavior charts” on Pinterest and prepare to be astounded. Sure, you will see the classic stop light charts, but now a new type of chart has emerged. The cute classroom behavior chart, filled with flowers, butterflies, and smiley faces. As if this innocent looking chart could never damage a child, as if something with polka-dots could ever be bad. And sure, must of them have more than three steps to move down, but the idea is still the same; a public behavior chart display will ensure students behave better. Why? Because they don’t want the humiliation that goes along with moving ones name. Nothing beats shaming a child into behaving.

The saddest thing for me is that I used to do it. I used to be the queen of moved sticks, checkmarks, and names on the board. I used to be the queen of public displays heralding accomplishments and shaming students. I stopped when I realized that all I did was create a classroom divided, a classroom that consisted of the students who were good and the students who were bad. I didn’t even have to tell my students out-loud who the “bad” kids were, they simply looked at our chart and then drew their own conclusions. And then as kids tend to do, they would tell their parents just who had misbehaved and been on red or yellow for the day. Word got around and parents would make comments whenever they visited our room of just how tough it must be to teach such and such. I couldn’t understand why they would say that until I realized it stared me in the face. My punishment/behavior system announced proudly to anyone who the bad kids were, so of course, parents knew it too. So I took it down and never looked back. No more public humiliation in my classroom ever again.

We may say that we do it for the good of the child. We may say that it helps us control our classrooms. We may say that public behavior charts have worked in our classrooms. I know I used to. And yet, have we thought of how the students feel about them? Have we thought about the stigma we create? Have we thought about the role we force students into and then are surprised when they continue to play it?

The fastest way to convince a child they are bad is to tell them in front of their peers. So if that is what we are trying to accomplish, then by all means, display the cute behavior charts. Frame them in smiley faces, hearts or whatever other pinterest idea you stumble upon. Start everyone in the middle so the divide becomes even more apparent when some children move up and others move down. Hang those banners of accomplishment, make sure not everyone is on there. Make sure everybody has been ranked and that everybody knows who is good and who is bad. Create a classroom where students actions are not questioned, nor discussed, but simply punished. And then tell them loudly and proudly to move their clip. After all, if the whole class doesn’t know someone is misbehaving then how will they ever change?

To see one teacher’s journey of how she moved past public behavior charts, please read this post by Kimberley Moran “Moving Past Behavior Charts”

PS: As Patrick’s comment wonders, what are the alternatives? I have blogged extensively about what to do instead, just click the links highlighted in the post or go to this page

PPS: More thoughts on this have been posted tonight

I am a passionate teacher in Wisconsin, USA, who has taught 4th, 5th, and 7th grade. Proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day. First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now. Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.

being a teacher, being me, reflection

The Best Things I Have Learned, I Have Learned from Others

June 20, 2014June 20, 2014 Pernille Ripp

I didn’t set out to learn from others, after all, as a new teacher, I was pretty sure I knew a lot. In fact, I thought because I was new, I knew more than many who had been out of school for years. I didn’t think I could learn that much from others because my own ideas were so wonderful, so original, so new. And then I learned my very first lesson: how I knew very little. And once I had realized that, I found out that some of my best lessons have come from others.

I learned that being a good listener will make people want to talk to you. While it can be fun to talk about the cool things one gets to do, or the incredible things one has learned, life is not about promoting your own words but instead about listening to others. Teach yourself to be a good listener, eye contact and all, you will reap the rewards in so many ways.

You can be part of the solution or part of the problem. While I sometimes find myself on both sides at the same time, I try to make myself work proactively to solve something. This is a conscious decision, because let’s be honest, it is much easier to gripe about something then it is to think of solutions.

It’s okay to wallow in self-pity, but only for a short time. Thanks to Angela Watson’s incredible book, “Awakened,” I realized that I didn’t give myself a time limit in my self-pitying. So I either was stuck in a rut for whole days or I tried to suppress it, thus never solving the actual problem. Now I embrace when I am down, then I get over it.

If you are in a bad mood, figure out why, and then get over it. I used to let a bad mood permeate everything I touched, rather than think about what key event had led to the bad mood. Now, I stop and recognize what has happened, try to solve it or realize it is what it is, take a deep breath and release it.

If you want a team, be a team player. While it is great to come in with all of your amazing ideas, as well as the notion that what you are doing is the best way to do it, this will not create a team. Learn when to share, learn when to compromise, and learn when to inspire.

This too shall pass. I remember when I had my first negative parent interaction and how it completely destroyed me. I kept thinking this was it, that I had now been deemed a terrible teacher and there was no way out. Then a few days later, I realized that my heart was not as heavy as it used to be, that I had gained a little bounce back in my step. The lesson still hurt, but it had turned from soul crushing to growth promoting. The same applies for when I am soaring high as a teacher, while this may sound pessimistic, I know that something will knock me down a little at some point. I am ok with that, because this is how life is.

Everybody has something to add. And by everybody, I mean everybody. Too often as teachers we only give expert status to those people we like, how about widening our scope and including other people in our building a voice as well. From the custodial staff to the students, they can all add something to the conversation.

If you are feeling insecure, chances are someone else is as well. I thought I was the only extroverted introvert in the world until I found others just like me. If you are not sure how to appraoch someone to start a conversation, they probably don’t know how to approach you either. So take the first initiative, connect with someone new, and invest your time in relationships.

If you want to be liked, be nice. I know this may sound silly, but this has been a big drive for me in everything I do. Smile, listen, give your time when you can, and be a nice human being. I would rather be known as a being nice than being an expert any day.

I am a passionate (female) 7th grade teacher in Wisconsin, USA, proud techy geek, and mass consumer of incredible books. Creator of the Global Read Aloud Project, Co-founder of EdCamp MadWI, and believer in all children. I have no awards or accolades except for the lightbulbs that go off in my students’ heads every day. First book “Passionate Learners – Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students” can be purchased now from Powerful Learning Press. Second book“Empowered Schools, Empowered Students – Creating Connected and Invested Learners” can be pre-ordered from Corwin Press now. Follow me on Twitter @PernilleRipp.