being me

Homework Meme Here I Go

I have been nominated by some wonderful bloggers a few times to do the homework meme blog that has been going around.  Each time I have resisted but I have then found myself quite enjoying reading others’ posts and getting to know them better.  Since I am also on bed rest right now, I figured it would keep me busy for a little bit as well.  SO thank you to @classcollect among others for nominating me to blab about myself.

So what is this thing?  A nomination requires some reflecting and some fun at the same time. The requirements include:

  • Acknowledging the nominating blogger(s) – so thank you so much Amy for throwing my name in the mix, others have as well but I am too pregnant to remember who!
  • Share 11 random facts about yourself
  • Answer the 11 questions the nominating blogger has created for you
  • List 11 bloggers you believe deserve some recognition and a little “link-juice”
  • Post 11 questions for the bloggers you nominate to answer and notify them

11 Random Facts – hmm, hard for me to do because I live life very openly.

  1. So the first one should be that I live a very transparent life, in fact, I tend to share more than many would.  However, I like to reflect openly and honestly and I think it has led me to where I am today as a blogger, teacher, and person.
  2. I only started a fashion blog because I hated the way I was dressing and was feeling very slumpy.  So now I have to actually think about what I wear before I leave the house and I pride myself on the fact that I re-use a lot of my clothes in new ways rather than just buy new stuff.
  3. I fell in love with Brandon almost right when I met him, however, I thought he would be the one that got away so I was shocked when he broke up with his girlfriend and then started to date me 9 months later.  We moved in together the first night we confessed our feelings and have now been together almost 13 years.
  4. Our first 3 children were with different levels of help from fertility.  I chose to go public with it on this blog because I knew I was not alone in this struggle and also chose to say goodbye to the child I lost on this blog.  Hard things to post about but a relief when I hit publish.
  5. I have always loved writing but had no intention to ever tell anyone about it.  Several college professors told me I should publish something but I scoffed it off.  I am humbled to have a book coming out sometime soon from Powerful Learning Press and terrified that no one will like it.
  6. I sing constantly and majored in music in Denmark, I love karaoke but have super low self esteem when it comes to performing in front of others.  Think shaking hands and close to passing out before I speak or sing.  Brandon is the one that makes me do it and I always have a great time busting out Black Velvet or Sweet Child O’ Mine.
  7. I wholeheartedly believe that we can change the world.  While some may think this is a just a silly notion that teachers have to preach, I really try to live it.  If a kid leaves my classroom wanting to come back the next day I believe that plants a seed of change.  We may not be able to see the change we make, but we can plant the seed.
  8. I am honest to  a fault and it gets me into sticky situations.  I believe in telling people how I feel rather than telling others but that does not always go over well.  So I have been trying to find the balance between my own bluntness and the American tendency to skirt around the issue.  It is a constant thing in my life and my husband helps me with it whenever I turn to him.
  9. I am an introverted extrovert which means I have no idea how to handle new social situations.  This is also why I don’t go to many conferences because I am afraid I will not live up to people’s expectations.
  10. I am terribly sarcastic in my sense of humor but thankfully my husband thinks I am funny.  I am not really, he just brings the best out in me.
  11. I am very protective of the people I love, including my students.  I have been compared to a lion mother protecting her cubs, which can be both good or bad.

Now to the questions Amy posted:

  1. What Disney Character would you be?  Oh dear, most of them are fairly one dimensional.  I was always drawn to the story of Peter Pan, not because I wanted to stay a child forever but because I wanted to fly.
  2. 2. What is the coolest app you have read about or use?  Oh dear, I am awful at this too.  I love the Mailbox app and currently I am unfortunately using the contraction timer app a lot.

    3. Have you ever skyped in your classroom?  All the time!  We mystery skype, we do the global read aloud, we give book recommendations, we bring in authors and experts.  I think Skype is one of the easiest tools to use to bring the world in.

    4. What twitter chats do you follow?  I am terrible with chats because my life gets in the way, but I do love #titletalk, #nerdybookclub, #edchat, #5thchat and #wiamigos.  The hashtag #nerdlution is making me very happy as well at the moment.

    5: What is the best thing about teaching?  The kids!  Hands down and the never-ending challenge.

    6. What is your favourite Stationary item?  I am slightly addicted to good thin ballpoint pens, luckily Brandon shares my same obsession so we are not allowed to go to an office store.  It gets expensive.

    7. Cake or Ice Cream?  Cake all the way, but Danish ones all the way.  I miss our bakery culture so much.

    8. House Pet: Snake or Ferret?  Neither.  I am a cat person but we have a gerbil right now.

    9. Favourite Movie?  Stand by Me or Sound of Music.

    10: Best gift you ever got?  My husband.  Lame I know but he seriously had made my life so much better and it is because of him I have the incredible life I have right now.

    11. Why did you want to become a teacher?  Because I wanted to make sure another child never got bullied the way I did by a teacher.

I will not list 11 bloggers to make answer these questions, but will give the challenge to you!  Please join the meme if you want and let me know so that I can get to know you better.  And to help you here are my 11 questions for you:

  1. What is the last book that you passed on to someone else to read?
  2. The one song you secretly or not so secretly want to sing at karaoke?
  3. If you had to pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
  4. What do you wish your administrator would notice?
  5. What is your biggest pet peeve?
  6. What holds you back in pursuing your biggest dream?
  7. Why do you think you are a lovable person?
  8. If every day had an extra hour in it, what would you do with it?
  9. The last song you turned up in your car or house was?
  10. What is a secret talent you may have?
  11. Your favorite animal and why?

So there you have it, a little bit of fun from my bedrest.  Let me know your answers.

Be the change, being me, Uncategorized

How to Combat The Negative

image from icanread

I don’t think anyone becomes an educator to spread negativity.  At least not anyone I have ever met.  And yet, there are some that seem to thrive on negativity, that cannot wait to spread the latest bad news, or relive someone else’s failure.  Sometimes you can spot them a mile away, it is like a cloud of negativity surrounds them, but other times they sneak into your life and you don’t even realize the conversation you are engaged in until it is over and you are left with a stone in your stomach or your smile gone.

I used to get sucked into negativity all of the time.  It makes for juicy conversations and it creates an instant bond between those who are commiserating.  It wasn’t until Brandon, my much smarter husband, pointed out how I brought it all home that I realized what I was being sucked into.  I was so eager to share the failures that I didn’t leave room for all of the happy that happened every day.  I had become the negative myself.

So what can you do if you find yourself surrounded by negativity, big or small?  My aha moment was realizing that you don’t need to be a part of it.  You are allowed to leave the conversation or steer it in a different direction.  Now, when a negative conversation starts up around me I try to find the positive in it or crack a joke.  Of course, I am never perfect but this works a lot of the time.

But an even bigger aha moment?  Don’t give the person spreading negativity any power.  When you give your time to someone, you are offering them a part of you.  If you listen to someone, you are giving them power in an audience.  Remove the audience and all they will be left with is their negativity.

In the end, we have to find out own happiness.  We don’t go to school to bring students down so why should the words we pick bring others down?  I laugh more now because I choose to.  Happiness is a choice, as is negativity, don’t be the one others try to steer clear of.

being me

Don’t Vote For Me #Eddies13

The shortlists of the 2013 EduBlog Awards have been released and I certainly was humbled by my nomination in most influential blog post as well as best individual blog.  But please don’t vote for me.  There are so many others that have have done more for education as a whole than me.  I am not at my peak yet, nor do I wish to be, so instead perhaps vote for the ones I nominated or whomever has touched you or made you change something.

Most Influential Blog Post:  John T.Spencer’s “Be Present” blog post.  I read this before I started this year and this has been my mantra for the year.  Not just in the classroom but in my life.  I turn off my computer, leave my phone somewhere and focus on those incredible kids in front of me.  Be present indeed has influenced me in so many ways, I hope it will do the same for you.

Best free webtool for me continues to be Kidblog (although Edmodo is close behind).  This blogging tool created by teachers allows me to peek into the minds of my 5th graders every week and brings the world in for us in a meaningful way.  Thank you Kidblog for creating such an incredible product.

Best Group Blog for me has to be The Nerdy Book Club – this daily blog brings together some of the most passionate and inspired educators, authors, and writers that share their ideas, opinions and passion for all things reading.  Thank you to all of those who continue to contribute and inspire me every day to be a better reading teacher.

Best individual blog:  I found myself once again thinking of a post John T. Spencer wrote again today, he is a must read for any educator that cares about anything.  So not only does one of his posts get my nomination for most influential post, but his blog also gets a nod for best individual blog.  Please add it your daily read.

Best edtech resource/sharing site.  While I turn to many of these throughout my week, Larry Ferlazzo’s is sheer insanity.  The breadth of what he shares on a daily basis makes me suspect that he is not just a teache rbut actually a robot churnin gout useful information.  whatever he is, I appreciate all that he does and all that he shares.

Best Librarian/Library Blog.  Not only is Shannon Miller one of the most inspiring and kind women I know, she shares so freely on her library blog that anyone would be a fool to not want to be one of her students.  You want to see students doing crazy cool things with books and tech, head over to Shannon’s blog for her Van Meter Library.

Best Twitter Hashtag.  While I love many hashtags: #Edchat, #Wischat, #GRA13, there is one that has helped my classroom year after year and that is #comments4kids created by Bill Chamberlain.  This hashtag is meant to get students’ comments on their blog posts, to bring the world in, and boy does it ever.  It is partly thanks to this hashtag that my students’ blogs have had more than 300,000 visitors!

 

 

being a teacher, being me, reflection

Feels Like Home

image from icanread

I was a lonely child.  Not quite a loner, but definitely always the awkward not quite sure where she fit in kid hovering in the background.  I had friends, in fact, I had many friends, but I had few that got me, few that wanted to get me, and I wasn’t really sure how to make people want to be my friend.  I switched schools several times throughout my childhood and every time I kept thinking that maybe this time was the time I would feel like I belonged.  That maybe this move would make my personality change and I wouldn’t be quite as dorky, quite as needy, quite as intense.  It never happened but my hopes kept my heart aflutter.  I made friends along the way, some I still keep as parts of my life, but each friend was one I battled for, one I really tried for, not one that came easy.

When I moved to Wisconsin permanently at the age of 18, I felt truly lost.  My parents and little brothers were here, but I had no one.  Not a person to call, to meet for coffee, to go to a movie with.  And I had no idea where to start.  For my first 3 years here I stumbled along a path, meeting people but not quite making friends besides one.  Then I met Brandon and I felt like I was found.  For the first time, I didn’t feel so lonely.  I didn’t feel that dorky, or needy, or intense.  I just felt like I was home.  And every day I cannot believe that he chooses me to be his wife.  That he chooses me to be there for him.  That he chooses me.  How this lost kid ever found her soulmate, I am not sure but somehow my heart found where I belonged.

I feel that way when I am in my classroom.  When I am among my students and some of my colleagues, I feel home.  Like I am with my tribe of people that get me and that I get.  I know the rules of friendship, community, and how to build trust.  I am needed and wanted.  I have a purpose and I fulfill it with all of my heart every day.  So as I struggle with whether or not I should continue teaching due to finances, I feel as if my heart is breaking.

I would have never said that I was born to teach.  I think I was born to understand, to connect, and to try to help.  Teaching lets me do all of that.  teaching lets me be a part of someone’s life and make a difference every single day.  I never don’t want to go to work, even if I have slept little, am sick, or there is a snowstorm.  My work is my home as well and those kids I get to teach are parts of my family.  Those people I get to work with are parts of my family.  And yet, the state of teaching as a job that pays the bills is abysmal and I don’t know if  can keep letting my heart rule how my family is supported.

So I wonder if my path now leads to a new home?  Will this teacher find a new place to belong?  Or will I leave teaching and be lost like I was so many years of my childhood?  Will I leave my tribe only to be without one or is there another one waiting for me somewhere?  I know I am not the only one searching for answers, can we find home again, outside of teaching?

 

Be the change, being me, reflection

How the #Nerdlution is Already Making a Difference

image from icanread

I woke up grumpy yesterday.  Not just fleetingly mad, but kind of a bone deep anger at the world.  Not that there was much a of a reason for it.  I have a pretty fantastic life if I may say so.  But I had slept terribly, the baby had kicked me most of the night, I had nightmares, two of my 3 kids had been up several times.  I didn’t have a good lunch planned, I am in the awkward stage of pregnancy where clothing looks weird, and it was so foggy out I could hardly see my ugly min-van.  You get the drift, everything was not good because that was my dominating mood.

But then I remembered the promise I had made to myself and to the #Nerdlution – to focus on the small happy moments and take pictures of them.  To stop and smell the happy rather than rush through the day.  So I took a deep breath and tried to look for the happy.  Maybe not as serendipitous as just finding it but I had promised myself I would be happy so I was going to find my happy.  At first it seemed super forced, like a fake smile, but then I felt the tension start to leave my shoulders.  Sure Ida was making the stuffed puppy play it’s annoying Christmas jingle for the 10th time, but every time she hit that button, Oskar wiggled his butt.  Sure, Thea was being wild and crazy, but she was playing with her younger siblings the best way she knew how.  Sure, my classroom was filled with piles of work to be done but it meant that almost all of the students had done their work.  And sure, I stuffed myself into a skirt and tried to look decent, but this 4th baby of ours is a miracle baby and this will be the last time I ever get to be pregnant.  Stop and smell the happy.

Could I have snapped out of my mood by myself?  Sure, but it was the knowing of the promise I had made publicly to #Nerdlution that made me do it more forcefully.  I couldn’t already break my promise after 2 days after all.  So today, when I woke up even more tired, even more sore, even more stressed, I knew I had to find my happy again, and I am ok with that.  I know I will because I promised it to myself.

Won’t you join the revolution?  (It is not too late to make yourself a promise…)

being me, Reading, reflection

What My Students Taught Me About Reading

image from icanread

I used to think a child would love reading if I could just find the right book and place it in my library.

I used to think a child would love reading if I could just give them the time to read and the space to do it in.

I used to think a child would love reading if I was passionate about it and always shared what I was reading.

I used to think a  lot of things.

Now I know that we cannot just have the right books in our library but they must be placed into the hands of children.  Sometimes repeatedly.  Sometimes by more than one person.  Sometimes cleverly disguised with new covers or exciting book trailers.  And sometimes we must accept that our favorite book will never be a favorite book of a certain child and so we must place another, and another, and another into their hands.  Sometimes we must get them first to trust us to even open up their hands or hearts to us.  Sometimes a book does that for us.

Now I know that it is not just about giving children time or space to read but choice in how to read and what to read.  Even if that means that they hate the books we suggest, even if that means that they try on 10 books before settling, or 20, or 30.   Even if that means that they sit on their desk to read, or lie under a table, or hide behind the door, or fling themselves on the floor.  Reading does not have to happen at a desk, in a chair or sitting up.  It just has to happen.

Now I know it is not just about me being a passionate reader but also giving students time to share their passion.  It is about them finding their voice as readers and discovering the joy of having another child pick up a suggested book.  About having a conversation about a book with someone who loved it as much as you, cried as much as you, yelled as much as you.  I can share all I want but it is the students that need to discover their inner passion.  They must have time to talk about books.  They must have ways to share their favorites, their worst,  their “I can’t wait to reads!”  They must feel that their opinion matters, that their passion shapes our library.  They must feel that reading time is sacred and not just another chore.  They must know that reading matters and not just because the curriculum says so but because it shapes us as human beings.

I used to think reading was about going through books as fast as possible just so I could show how many I read.  Now I know it is about savoring every one, experiencing it, and letting it change me.  I try to give that moment to my students too.  They taught me to slow down, to give more reading time, to talk more about the books I read.  They taught me what it means to be a passionate reader by being passionate themselves, and for that I am forever grateful.